Self-esteem and ego, which one are we left with?

Self-esteem and ego could be considered two sides of the same coin.. People who have good self-esteem usually have their ego under control; while those with an overflowing ego tend to have low self-esteem. The curious thing is that what we see on the outside has nothing to do with what happens on the inside. Who would believe that someone with an ego could have low self-esteem?

This aspect includes concepts such as false self-esteem, attempts to mask all that pain that we feel inside and that we are ashamed of wanting to externalize, and many other circumstances that cause people to move between these two faces: self-esteem and ego.

false self-esteem

There are people who seem to have a high level of self-esteem, but deep down, they have strong egocentrism and low self-esteem.. They confuse self-esteem and ego. They talk about themselves and their achievements all the time and when things go wrong they usually use external justifications without acknowledging their responsibility. These people basically have a great insecurity in themselves, which makes them tend to look for ways to hide it.

So, They often think that vulnerability is the same as weakness. and they forget that, like everyone, they can make mistakes and make mistakes. Therefore, this should not be a reason to feel bad, nor threatened by what other people may think of them.

Not taking responsibility not only prevents them from making self-criticism that allows them to be adaptive, but often also prevents them from feeling the need to apologize when they make a mistake.

People with high and healthy self-esteem

On the other hand, People who have high self-esteem do not talk so much about themselves and their achievements, but rather they know how to listen and are happy with the achievements of others. They learn from them, from humility and without showing off, since, for them, achievements and mistakes form two sides of the same coin.

Thus, when they make a mistake they know how to ask for forgiveness and do not justify themselves, but instead accept and learn from the mistakes they make. And this strengthens them, since they overcome and improve. They don’t let the ego take control. They know how to discern between self-esteem and ego and set limits on the latter.

It is always good, from time to time, to reflect on ourselves to see: how we are acting and how we want to act. Thus, recognizing that we are not perfect is the first step to achieving high self-esteem, since, when we make mistakes, we can get up and learn from our mistakes.

It is also a positive thing to record how we feel when we achieve an important achievement.

Final reflection

In the film The peaceful Warrior, The wise man tells the young man something that we must constantly remember, “you are not better than anyone, but you are not less either.” This speaks of high and healthy self-esteem. Knowing that we are not better or worse than others, but different. Knowing we have different talents will help us develop a high level of self-esteem and forge better relationships and a happier life.

Confusing self-esteem with having a sky-high ego is not strange. The main difference is that healthy self-esteem leads us to relate to ourselves in an appropriate way. While our ego can wreak havoc on us due to our lack of self-criticism, egocentrism, pride and emotions derived from giving ourselves excessive importance.

Without a doubt, choosing self-esteem instead of ego will bring us greater benefits. Thus, We will learn to know ourselves in such a way that we can learn from mistakes instead of justifying ourselves. We will be aware of our virtues and our limitations. Humility and simplicity will be part of us. Definitely, The relationship with ourselves will be much more functional and fruitful..

Have you ever confused self-esteem and ego?

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