because you are my home

You arrived by jumping out the window because you knew I had already locked the door and hidden the key under some rug that wasn’t mine. But my life was so empty and, at the same time, so full of holes, of stones that from up here seemed so small, but that weigh so much inside us and, above all, so full of questions that I thought you didn’t was able to respond.

Sorry if I didn’t bother to call you, buy a card at the stationery store, leave a message with your secretary – not even the electronics. But sometimes you can’t put into words what we feel. Each one speaks the language of their own feelings, even if they often don’t really understand it. Even if, almost always, I don’t speak it with words. Sometimes with the eyes. Laugh and cry too. For those who come from outside, who do not know us from the inside, it is difficult to understand what cannot be learned at school. So you wouldn’t understand.

And so I went. In search of a new scenario for so many stories I wanted to live. In search of the farthest place I could think of, only then to realize that, as much as I insisted on saying no, it was by your side that I had to stay.

I left wanting to find a place that belonged to me, one of those places that when you enter, you feel that all the evil in this world has been left out. My own hideout, where I could be whoever I wanted to be, not what most expected me to be. A place where I took the risk of doing whatever I set my mind to, even if it made sense, or if it was totally meaningless, without time and also at the wrong time.

And then I found myself with a lump in my throat and throwing what was clinging to my hand into the air. I could travel the world, go on a spiritual retreat in India, backpack through Europe, cross Santiago de Compostela on foot, move to an island in the Pacific or to an indigenous tribe, that whenever you invaded my thoughts at about and a half , took my strength and took my heart to keep with you, I would come running, swimming the seven seas and even flying without needing a plane. Because you are my home.

And even if in this house the paintings don’t match, the personalities scream and the entire zodiac declares war two or three times a week; even if the walls shake, although they remain firm, and the floor cracks from the impact of two unbalanced bodies, that’s where I want to stay, put my shirts in the drawer, put my toothbrush. Because that’s the sheet I want to wrap myself in every night and it’s the one that every morning will pull me closer to you.

I thought I would never find a place in the world that I could call my own, even if I had to search all four corners of it for that. What I didn’t even imagine was that this place was so close, right on the left side of his chest.

The door is open, and I don’t even have to knock. You tell me to take off my shoes so I don’t scratch the polished floor, and I walk in. And now I stay. Because today I know that while I spent so much time looking for you, you had already found me.

Gustavo Meneses

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