While some couples know right away that their relationship is the right one, others have to go through some ups and downs as they figure out if the person they’re with is really the one. But don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you’re feeling insecure about your relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or you’re with the wrong person. Or even that your relationship is unhealthy.

If you’re feeling insecure about a relationship, it’s important that you address the reasons for those feelings. It is usually your intuition telling you that there are unresolved issues.

It could be that you and your partner aren’t working on certain issues and need to figure out how to communicate better, for example. Or it could mean that you don’t all share the same goals and need to find a way to compromise.

If you can talk and solve these problems, great! But you may also find that not everything can be resolved, or even that you are just not happy in this relationship.

To determine the future of your relationship, ask yourself some of the questions below, which are sure to help you become more clear.

1 “What is a happy relationship to me?”

To get started, ask yourself what your ideal relationship would be like, including what values you would like your partner to have, how to feel on a daily basis, and so on.

2 “Am I treated as I deserve in this relationship?”

This question is intended to identify any issues or unacceptable behavior. Many of us ignore the abusive relationship because aggressions don’t happen all the time.

3 “Where do I see myself in a year?”

Imagine where you would like to be a year from now. How do you want your life to be? Asking this question allows you to focus on your own needs and goals.

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If you ask this question and you don’t see your partner playing a major role in your life a year later, the relationship is probably not worth it.

4 “Is my partner truly committed to the relationship?”

Part of being in a relationship means talking about things that aren’t working and finding ways to commit as a couple – with the goal of making sure you’re both happy.

But if you’ve talked about what’s wrong, and your partner rejects the situation or shows no signs of changing, that might not be a good sign for the future.

5 “Am I really willing to give up some things for the sake of my relationship?”

Not everything will go your way all the time. If you are not willing to make room for your partner and their needs, the relationship will not be happy. And in that case, it might be better to move on.

6 “Am I willing to accept our differences?”

For have a healthy relationship, you need to accept each other as they are, without holding grudges or waiting for miraculous changes to occur. Your introverted partner won’t become an extrovert overnight, for example.

7 “Is this relationship affecting my self-esteem?”

Ask yourself some questions about your self-esteem in general as it pertains to your partner and your relationship.

Answering this question will help you recognize the impact of your relationship on your self-esteem. And then you can decide if that relationship is something you want to continue on with or not.

8 “Is this relationship holding me back?”

In a happy relationshipboth partners will feel that they are still individuals capable of growing and changing, not just because there is room for it, but because both partners offer mutual support.

The right person will support your growth and goals and will do everything they can to help you succeed in life.

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9 “Why have I been in this relationship for so long?”

Whether you’ve been in this relationship for a month, a year, or ten years, go ahead and ask yourself why you put up with it so long.

Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Afraid to step out of your comfort zone? Be clear about what love is and what it isn’t.

If the relationship feels fulfilling and worthwhile, great. But if you’re in this relationship just for fear of being alone, it’s good to review your concepts.

10 “Do we want the same things?”

If you’re on the fence, it could be because some big questions still need to be answered, like whether or not you want children, whether you plan on getting married, and so on.

People often ignore these issues and think that love will discover them in time. But in reality, you will have to talk about these things and find out if you and your partner are heading in the same direction.

11 “Do we have a similar approach to life?”

You don’t have to be with someone whose habits match yours perfectly, but you do need to make sure they’re on the same page when it comes to big things like handling money, making decisions, etc.

These areas of your life can cause great conflict if there are no similarities or ways to communicate and manage differences.

12 “Am I happy in this relationship?”

Your relationship can’t be happy 100% of the time, but it should be a territory you feel comfortable being in.

Are you finding joy in your life? Does your partner contribute to your joy?

13 “Do I like the way we communicate?”

If your needs are not met now and there is no conversation about them, it will be difficult to suddenly make those changes in the future.

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So notice if your partner doesn’t listen, can’t communicate, or refuses to share their feelings. If that’s the case, it might be best to go their separate ways.

14 “Do I want to be in this relationship?”

Look around your current life and decide if it matches the vision you had for yourself, because sometimes relationships take us down a path we never expected.

Sometimes these twists and turns can be exciting and can lead you to a better place than your original plan.

But if it feels like being in this relationship has caused you to stray from the course of your journey — and your partner is unwilling or unable to help you get back on track — it might not be right for you.

15 “Am I happy to see my partner again after being away for so long?”

Do you get excited when you know you’re going to see your partner?

Does just thinking about them bring a smile to your face? If the answer is yes, fantastic! You have some things to fix—as do we all—but you’re heading in the right direction.

If the answer is no, there’s still a chance to make it work, but you’ll have to work hard at it!

There are many ways to improve a relationship if it’s not working out or fix a situation that has some flaws.

But if you feel like your relationship isn’t working out for you, ask yourself these questions. They can help you provide the clarity you need to figure out what you would like to do.