Are you angry with yourself? Reconcile!

Look at yourself with the best eyes and be benevolent with your own limitations or with your particular way of being in the world It is essential to maintain good mental health.

When a person believes that they should (or should) be otherwise, when she’s mad at herself for being the way she is, He suffers a lot. The profile of the “angry with himself” is classic and well-known:

Lives dissatisfied with himself. He permanently forces himself to try to be as it shouldset impossible goals to be able to despise yourself when you don’t get them. excessive attention to detail.plan everything so as not to lose control and lives pending the next failure, which he anticipates and produces.

In general, “the one angry with himself” comes from families in which it was taught that normal or average performances are negligible, that mistakes cannot exist because they are the expression of little attention. And only an outstanding result is satisfactory. The mandate received from the parents has been something like: “You will only have our love if you succeed and stand out.”

The consequences of not accepting ourselves as we are

The person who lives running away from the fear of being rejected –and enduring his own rejection– is afraid to reveal or admit his vulnerability. And so:

Shuts down from criticism. Blocks her creative ability. Stops trusting others. Loses vision of the whole. Unwilling to take risks. Becomes more and more stubborn. Works excessively as a way of escape or search for recognition. He obsessively hides his mistakes and imperfections. He acts more and more demanding with others.

The consequence, both in labor and social terms, is foreseeable: gets fewer successes or worse results than others of the same ability, but he continues to rigorously maintain that his way of doing things is the correct one.

All this causes him to be perceived as a victimizer and not as a victim.; like a tyrant who, by attending to details, loses sight of important things and earns the indifference and antipathy of many, if not the fear and alienation of all.

There is nothing wrong with our way of being

Pablo Busse Grawitz, creator of a famous health recovery center in the Argentine province of Córdoba, writes: “People have to dedicate time to take care of themselves, to exercise, to rest, to cultivate the soul, to enjoy a small portion of healthy food. In short, order yourself by establishing priorities and taking care that they are not overwhelmed. May the urgent not end up taking our life little by little. We must try to generate that daily space that strengthens the spirit and helps us to go out with another vision to the street”.

For me, that other vision that Busse Grawitz talks about is only possible if one manages to reconcile with oneself. According to the dictionary, reconciliation is the restoration of a friendship, the repair of a damaged bond, or the specific act of reconciling a lost or mismatched relationship.

Understood in this way, reconciling with others or with oneself cannot be a mechanical act but rather a responsible decision, which only has value when taken with absolute awareness of what it means. More than forgiving, reconciling is rediscovering harmony.

An exercise to reconcile with yourself

I propose an exercise. To carry it out, find, in your daily schedule, a moment that allows you to get away from all things and dedicate an exclusive hour of your time:

Write yourself a letter. Take some nice paper and a pencil (better a pencil than a pen) and write a letter, a letter addressed to yourself, to yourself.Be honest with yourself. This letter is a love letter. Take it seriously. I would like you to tell yourself how much you love yourself and why, to tell yourself in detail about your best virtues, to forgive yourself in writing for the mistakes made, accepting that you are not the emblem of perfection and that this may not be entirely bad.Wish yourself the best. Specifically in that only you know what you want or expect. I suggest that you end the letter with a phrase like “count on me always” or something similar.Sign it and put it in an envelope. Now, overcome your old judgments of yourself regarding the ridiculousness of certain things, close the envelope and send that letter home. Forget about her, so that she surprises you when she arrives.keep it well Keep it as you keep a letter from a very dear friend, as a symbol of your final reconciliation with yourself.