Aggression in relationships, what to do?

Being in love is a spectacular feeling. When we love someone, we get excited, we become thoughtful and even more fun. If love is reciprocated, the feeling of invulnerability increases.

Fortunately, this is almost always the case; however, There are some cases in which love becomes a source of very intense suffering.: The person you love is also a victim of aggression by their partner.

When love produces very intense pain, it is necessary to stop and analyze. If the person you love humiliates you, intimidates you, hurts you or threatens you, it is necessary to act, In addition to analyzing, it is necessary to act. Because that person has a very unhealthy idea of ​​what it means to be in a relationship, and the damage they cause can be irreparable.

Humiliation and intimidation are warning signs in a relationship.

Relationship violence and broken souls

There are some keys to identifying violence in relationships. In this regard, we are going to talk about some of those that the American Psychological Association has proposed in its guide Love doesn’t have to hurt teenagerswhich you can find here (and which aren’t just for teens).

Being hurt, pushed, slapped, embarrassed, humiliated, yelled at, or forced to have sex is far from what love means.. This is violence and the victim can be anyone. You have the right to be treated in a respectful manner and to be protected from physical and emotional wounds that another person may inflict on you. It is unacceptable that violence and abuse exist in a relationship.

In the face of psychological or physical violence in a relationship, it is necessary to act and ask for help as soon as possible.

I am being a victim of attacks, what do I do?

Assaulting is a crime classified in the penal code. If you find yourself in a relationship in which you feel attacked, it is time to act, to put yourself first. It is essential that you get out of that relationship and get to safety.

Many times the first attack is so unexpected that it paralyzes us; Later, when the others come, our cognitive system starts to justify them or minimize their relevance, since the last thing we want is to talk about the relationship with the person we love:

The first step you can take to change the reality you are living is to listen to yourself.Ask for help.Sleep problems caused by anxiety caused by your partner are also common signs that something is wrong.Talk to someone you trust about how you feel. .Make sure you are safe. Even if you’re still with your partner, you can decide to be safe. Thinking about an action plan can help you feel more in control of the situation. For example, you can meet your partner only in public places.Seek support. One of the most common forms of response from victims is isolation, especially in cases where the other person controls our free time. It is time to act, it is necessary to leave isolation and contact family and friends.Demand respect. We can often think that “we are capable of changing the other person.” This is practically impossible, and much less should it imply that the means to achieve it is suffering.

On the other hand, if you see a friend who is in a violent relationship, you probably also feel pain. Often you have wanted to help, but you have had doubts about how to do it or what to say. It can also be scary to get involved in someone else’s problem. Even so, If you’re worried: say something. Mention it.

People who are being victimized by their partners often feel that talking to others is fruitless. They may even think that they are being hurt because of them. It is for this reason that we recommend that you listen, support and validate what is happening.

If they ask you for help, take it seriously, because the information they are transmitting to you is extremely intimate and personal. If you see abuse, speak up, don’t be silent.

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