Aboulomania: pathological indecision

At some point in our lives… we have all had to face making a difficult decision. We begin to doubt, to get nervous because we don’t know what to choose… This is normal. However, when indecision affects our life, our relationships with others and the reason why it appears has to do with stress, anxiety and even depression, we may be facing a case of aboulomania.

It is necessary to emphasize that aboulomania is a disabling mental disorder, not an insecurity problem. People who suffer from it do not trust themselves to make decisions and, normally, have many problems in their relationships, whether they are a couple, friendship, family, work, etc. Having to choose between one dessert or another can be an odyssey. Aboulomania reaches that point.

What triggers aboulomania?

To determine the cause of aboulomania, a complete study of the person who suffers from it must be done, since It is still not very clear what the possible triggers may be.. However, there are several studies that have ventured different hypotheses.

A possible origin could be in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. An area related to decision making, which is why several researchers believe that it may have a lot to do with this mental disorder. However, another of the causes being considered is the parenting style, although this is a hypothesis that researchers handle with great caution.

So, excessive protection during childhood could be the breeding ground for aboulomania, because as we know, overprotection causes an atrocious dependence on the decisions of others. Also, if there has been humiliation or abandonment in childhood, this mental disorder may occur. Well, shame, extreme insecurity and lack of self-confidence can be causes of aboulomania.

However, this is not clear and researchers have so far been unable to come up with a hypothesis that they can support empirically. Therefore, although they speculate on possible reasons, they do not guarantee that one of them alone is an answer that explains this phenomenon in all cases.

The life of a person with aboulomania

You have to be very careful about confusing aboulomania with emotional dependence. That is why it is so important to go to a professional who can help give an exact name to what is happening. As we will see below, some of the circumstances experienced by a person with aboulomania can be confused with dependence or insecurity.

Typically, a person with aboulomania avoids being alone in any circumstance in which a “dilemma” may arise.. But not because she is afraid of being left without anyone who loves her, but because she needs someone to make decisions for her and assume her responsibilities. This causes and feeds the fear of abandonment, because if she is alone she is unable to make a decision. Therefore, unfortunately, sometimes one of the options is suicide.

Because of this way of relating to others, so dependent, The person with aboulomania can be manipulated or deceived more easily. She may be used, and even a partner may abandon her due to her high level of passivity and not knowing how to express her own disagreements. If she is alone, the person with aboulomania feels helpless, lost and helpless.

Diagnosis and treatment

This mental disorder is accompanied by anxiety, depression and anxiety. Furthermore, these are the main complaints with which patients who suffer from it come to consultation. On the other hand, there are three tests that help with the diagnosis: Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory (MCMI-II), Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-2) and the Thematic Apperception Test (TAT).

After the diagnosis, it is advisable to carry out an intervention to overcome aboulomania. The process consists of, first, relieving the anxiety, stress or depression problems suffered by the patient and, subsequently, treating the mental disorder itself. To do it, The professional will use tools that help the patient acquire greater autonomy and to develop social skills, such as assertiveness. Furthermore, in many cases it will also be necessary to carry out a process to rebuild self-esteem.

Those who suffer from this type of disorder are not able to decide even in the slightest.. A meal, a haircut (whether he cuts it or not, whether he changes it or not, whether he dyes it or not), choosing a job, whether or not to bring an umbrella… His indecision reaches such a point that if in a group of friends If they had to decide on a plan for the weekend, they wouldn’t end up doing anything.

People with this disorder can be very “uncomfortable,” since the people around them end up with the feeling that they always have to be pulled, given a push. It is true, but it is also true that those who have it the worst are usually them and that they tend to be delighted when someone offers them the possibility of gaining security and improving their autonomy. Let’s not forget it and, together, let’s help them.

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