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Age difference in the couple: love goes beyond numbers

Love knows no age, it knows passion, attraction, that affinity in the same values ​​and a shared life project. Beyond criticism and social prejudices, there are many couples who manage to strengthen their relationship.

The age difference between the couple continues to be the focus of some prejudice today.. This generational asymmetry between two people who love each other continues to attract our attention and awaken, in turn, the most flowery comments. There are many who like to question those feelings and those who see, as could not be less, hidden interests in said relationship.

Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Zones, Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness… All of them are a few examples of those couples in the public sphere in which 15 or 20 years apart have not been any barrier to building a consolidated and even happy relationship.

Now, despite the apparent progress in many of our social codes, not even these figures are today exempt from certain critical voices. An example of this is the fact that it is still seen in a better light that it is the man who is older than his partner in years than the other way around. If the generational leap is led by them, the prejudice is greater.

On the other hand, research on this same topic tells us something interesting to reflect on. To this day, the weight of social disapproval continues in many cases to cause couples to break up.

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Love is blind and does not understand ages, the old saying goes. And it is true, however, In our collective unconscious we value that if a crush arises, it does so with someone from our same generation.

“Love is not seen with the eyes, but with the mind, and that is why Cupid is painted blind.”

-William Shakespeare, The dream of a nigth of summer

Age difference in the couple: does it really matter?

The age difference between the couple is often a great challenge for the protagonists themselves.. It is basically because of the stigma and disapproval they perceive from their environment. There are very recent studies carried out by experts on the subject such as doctors Brian Collisson and Luciana Ponce De León, from the University of San Diego, which tell us the following:

The relationship between two people with An age difference between 15 and 20 years experiences what is known as perceived inequity.Perceived inequality is built on social prejudices. The most common is to think, for example, that the man or woman older than his partner seeks with that relationship to achieve a certain status and be admired (especially in the case of men). In addition, Having a younger partner reaffirms, in a certain way, the sense of conquest and also self-esteem.On the other hand, this younger person seeks, according to the theory of perceived inequality, to feel protected and fill the void of a maternal or paternal figure. Also, and as could not be less, There is a stereotype that a relationship between two people with a large age difference is sustained by interest, and specifically, by the economic position of those who are older.

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The weight of stigma is losing strength

It is true that behind the age difference in the couple there may in some cases exist a hidden interest. Search for status, monetary interest, security and protection, etc. Nevertheless, love in asymmetric generations occurs more frequently than we think and these romances that begin unexpectedly, in many cases end up overcoming those social stigmas until establishing solid bonds.

It should be noted that although the relationship between an older man and a younger woman is increasingly accepted, There is still a certain stigma with that older woman who lives with a younger partner. The same thing also happens with gay and lesbian couples, where the prejudice, on average, is twofold.

In love what matters are the values, not the numbers

Beyond the social stigma, The challenge that these types of couples usually present is the fact that they belong to two different generations.. This differentiated social context sometimes implies that each person has values, a type of education, a very different group of friends and the need to frequent environments that do not match those of the other.

Something like this usually happens when the age difference approaches or exceeds 20 years. However, All of these are challenges that can be worked on over time as long as there is harmony. and are respected in turn, the 4 pillars of every successful relationship:

Have the same life project.Share the same values. Satisfactory sexual life.Have complementary characters.

To conclude, the age difference in the couple is, in many cases, a bridge to be crossed between two where they must necessarily overcome social prejudices and ill-intentioned comments.

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Well it is true that love is never easy, there are obstacles, challenges to work on and challenges to face; But if they are done together and the commitment is firm, everything can be achieved.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Collisson, Brian, and Luciana Ponce De Leon, “Perceived inequity predicts prejudice towards age-gap relationships,” Curr Psychol (2018), https://doi-org.libproxy.sdsu.edu/10.1007/s12144-018-9895- 6.Lehmiller, Justin J., and Christopher R. Agnew, “Commitment in Age-Gap Heterosexual Romantic Relationships: A Test of Evolutionary and Socio-Cultural Predictions,” Psychology of Women Quarterly 32, no. 1 (March 2008): 74–82.The marital satisfaction of differently aged couples. Wang-Sheng Lee and Terra McKinnish. Journal of Population Economics 2017 doi.org/10.1007/s00148-017-0658-8

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