Acts of Service: What is this Love Language and How to Demonstrate It

If you like making your partner’s bed or cooking dinner for him, this one is for you.

• Love Language Meaning of Acts of Service
• Signs Your Love Language Is Acts of Service
• Examples of acts of service
• Relationship tips if your love language or your partner’s are acts of service
• What are the love languages ​​compatible with acts of service?
• What if you don’t have the same love language? Is the relationship doomed to failure?

By now, you’ve probably learned a thing or two about love languages. The phrase comes from the book The 5 Love Languages: How to Express a Commitment of Love to Your Spouse, written by Gary Chapman, PhDwhich is essential to building a healthy relationship.

In the book, Gary stated that people speak one of five love languages ​​which are: acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gifts. In short, these love languages ​​reveal how you are likely to give love and how you want to receive it. (And if you still don’t know your love language, take our free trial clicking here.)

For today’s article, we’re dissecting everything there is to know about the “acts of service” love language – you’ll learn what it means, examples of acts of service, and you’ll learn some relationship tips if that’s your language. of love. Let’s go?!

Oh! And if you are interested in seeing the meaning of the other Love Languages ​​and how to demonstrate them, just click on one of the options in the list below:

• Quality Time
• physical touch
• Words of Affirmation
• receive gifts

SEE ALSO: 160 Couple Questions to Get to Know Your Love Better!

Love Language Meaning of Acts of Service

Just as the name suggests, the person who has this love language is likely to enjoy doing acts of service for their partner to show that they care, or when their partner does acts of service for them, it makes them feel more loved.

“It means that you feel loved or enjoy taking care of your partner, taking practical actions that will help them in some way or that you believe they will appreciate,” says Emilia Balsemão, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Important: “These acts of service can be done with or without the other person having specifically asked for help.”, he adds.

Now let’s get to specific examples of how this language works, because when we say “acts of service” we mean doing things like doing laundry, making the bed in the morning, cooking dinner, etc.

“For me, for example, my love language is acts of service, and I feel most appreciated, cared for and loved by my husband when he does things for me. Like, if he sees that I’m overwhelmed with work or family situations, and he takes over dinner that particular night just so I don’t have to worry about it, it’s very welcoming,” says Emilia.

“And when he does things like make breakfast, take the dog for a walk or get bread from the bakery – without me having to ask him – I melt,” he adds.

SEE ALSO: 6 Reasons Why Hugging Couples Are the Happiest

Signs Your Love Language Is Acts of Service

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There are some subtle signs that acts of service are your or your partner’s love language. On the other hand, you could just do the love languages ​​test to prove. But the fact is, “If you feel most loved when others do things for you, and you tend to feel neglected when people don’t help you, it’s a big sign that your love language is acts of service. ”, says Emilia.

Obviously you feel loved when you receive a gift or when you are caressed, but when people speak in your love language, your heart actually burns!

Important Note: Acts of service should not be confused with “serving” or “slaving” someone. There is a fine line between wanting to help and fully serving another person who refuses to take on their own responsibilities. If at some point you’re not having fun taking on these tasks or you don’t feel valued for doing them, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.

SEE ALSO: How to Give a Kiss With Footprint: 15 Tricks to Write Down!

Examples of acts of service

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Remember, it doesn’t have to be anything big, okay?! Some easy things you can do for your partner whose love language is acts of service are:

• wash the dishes
• ask him if he needs help with anything after a stressful day at work
• prepare breakfast
• take out the garbage
• pick you up at work
• plan the vacation
• take care of him when he is sick

“Trust me, as someone whose love language is acts of service, it really doesn’t matter what the other person does, you just want to feel appreciated and cared for,” says Emilia.

However, you must remember that if your love language is acts of service and your partner’s is not, you may need to open up the channels of communication to discuss your needs and expectations (without blaming him for not having the same language you). This is an important step for you to ensure you are receiving love the way you want it.

SEE ALSO: How to Control Jealousy. 12 Tips That Work for Everyone!

Relationship tips if your love language or your partner’s are acts of service

As in any relationship, no matter the language of love, communication is key. If you don’t communicate effectively with your partner, it can lead to unnecessary problems and unmet expectations.

So first of all, “understand that your partner’s love language may be different from yours, and it’s important to show your love by speaking in their specific love language as well,” says Emilia.

Communicating your love language to your partner and telling them about what makes you feel most loved should help.

If your partner’s love language is acts of service:

Your partner wants someone who understands when he’s overwhelmed and does tangible things to make his life easier — without him necessarily having to ask. It can be like taking on daily chores when he’s busy with something else, picking up the kids from school, walking the dog, making the bed, etc.

He would love to hear you say, “Let me help you and do this for you.” Realize that nothing you do for him will be of little value, because small tasks can mean the world to people of acts of service, even if they mean little to you.

Additionally, licensed psychologist Manoella Fernandez says, “Pay attention. One of the best ways to engage in acts of service is to be able to predict your partner’s pattern of behavior and intervene without being asked.”

SEE ALSO: 93 Questions For Boyfriends To Answer

If acts of service are your love language:

Dr. Manoella explains that you must communicate this to your partner. “A lot of people start doing chores around the house, for example, just to show their partner what that means, but it doesn’t work if your partner has a different love language. It’s more beneficial to just tell him and teach him the way you want to be taken care of.”

However, one thing that can create problems in the relationship is doing something that you think is an act of service when the other person doesn’t see it as helpful, says Manoella. Because depending on what it is, “it can be perceived as crossing a boundary,” she explained.

“To make sure you are able to truly express love with acts of service, remember to check with your partner that the action you are taking will be a real help to them and that they are willing to allow you to help in this way. shape”, he adds. “That means you should probably ask your partner if he’s comfortable with you, say, doing his laundry,” concludes Manoella.

“If your partner doesn’t want help with something, remember that this is not rejection and that there are likely many other ways your partner would feel comfortable with you helping and showing love.”

SEE ALSO: How to Develop a Relationship Based on Love and Respect

What are the love languages ​​compatible with acts of service?

We need to understand that love languages ​​are not like the zodiac, where the selected signs are compatible with each other or not. “Love languages ​​are more about figuring out how to communicate, although there are differences,” says Manoella.

“It’s about putting in enough effort to know that you’ll need to learn a different language, even if that’s not your natural tendency. It also means you might have to do some extra work. There’s a lot of effort in the beginning if you don’t have the same language as your partner.”

However, even if you share the same love language, it can mean different things to each partner. It’s always helpful to check your boundaries and communicate your wants and needs.

SEE ALSO: How to Repair a Worn Relationship? Find out now!

What if you don’t have the same love language? Is the relationship doomed to failure?

No! But the two of you will need to work hard to build a healthy relationship by first revealing to each other your love languages ​​and your expectations and desires. This will save you a lot of arguments in the relationship, trust me.

You will also need to understand your partner’s love language. Because even though you are one of acts of service, his love language can be physical touch or spending quality time with you, and you should show your love to him in that way – even if it’s not that important to you.

So yes, people with different love languages ​​can work just as well as people with the same. A relationship, no matter the language of love, is about caring for the other person and helping them to grow. Learning each other’s love languages ​​is a great way to get started. 😉

SEE ALSO: 25 Ways She Has Said She Loves You Without Saying A Word