ACT: the pursuit of goals X seize the path

“If your mind is not clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life” (Wu-Men).

Hello friends!

ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, distinguishes between goals and values ​​(click on the link to read the text I recently wrote). In today’s text, I would like to share with you an idea from one of the greatest authors of this approach to psychology, Russ Harris, about the difference between looking for success, the achievement of goals, in an unbridled way and placing happiness in the future versus enjoy the scenery until you get there.

A story

To begin with, it’s helpful to understand this difference through a simple story:

“A mother decides to take her two children to a fantastic zoo, which is about a two-hour drive from her home. One of the children has only one goal: to get to the zoo as quickly as possible. All the way there he sits by the window in a state of constant frustration, asking every five minutes “Are we getting there?”, “How much longer?” and saying “I want to get there soon”, “how boring!”

The other son, however, has two goals: get to the zoo as quickly as possible. and enjoy the trip. So he’s looking out the window, noting the farms, with their cows and sheep, watching the giant trucks that come and go, waving at the people he sees walking by. He is not feeling frustrated, nor is he whining, nor is he feeling miserable. He’s living in the moment, appreciating where he is, rather than focusing on where he isn’t yet (at the zoo).” (HARRIS, Kindle pos 4747).

Life focused on the future

When Jung, the Swiss psychologist, took time out of his schedule to visit different peoples around the world, he encountered a tribe who asked him why Westerners were so restless, always seeming to want something else, without the ability to sit still and talk with one another. calm.

This perception of another culture about ours (Western culture in general) sheds light on the way we often live: with attention in the future, thirsty for something that hasn’t happened yet, wanting something more, something else. , and another and another.

It’s very common for us to be more like the first boy in history. The difference is that he wanted to go to the zoo. And we often want X. It could be having a relationship, earning more money, getting a better job or a promotion, buying more objects (houses, cars, motorcycles, technologies or whatever). In other words, the basic idea is:

“When that happens, I will be happy”

“When I get to the zoo, I will be happy. When I accomplish this goal X I will be happy. For now, while I haven’t accomplished that goal yet, no. I can’t, I have to run and do it soon”.

Read the text – I will be happy if, only if…

It’s like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, always restless, always in a hurry.

Mindfulness and ACT

ACT uses mindfulness techniques so that we can develop the ability to keep our attention more in the present. And, to be clear, that doesn’t mean we have to abandon our goals. We can only become more like the second boy in the story. He’s still really looking forward to going to the zoo, however, until he gets there he takes the time to be fully alive.

seize the way

It is easy to see that this second possibility of attitude is much more advantageous. Not only because we can reach the goal and not like it so much – maybe the “zoo” is not the best – but also because when completing a goal, another soon appears.

The difference between each of us is the type of object that fascinates us. Some like to buy cars, others motorcycles, others clothes. (I like books more than anything). So, there is always something more to buy or something more to achieve, to give status, knowledge, titles, accolades, etc.

This is all part of it, but it is very important to realize two points:

• it’s easy to forget what we’ve already achieved
• it’s easy to believe in the myth that when we reach more X, we’ll be happy

This video helps to reflect on these two points and shows how it is also equally important to develop gratitude:

In closing, I would like to leave two sentences for reflection:

“If your mind is not clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life” (Wu-Men).

“When we get what we want, we have a moment of satisfaction, not because of the pleasure (of what we have achieved), but because we are no longer greedy.” – Jack Kornfield

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