8 Reasons People Are Afraid to End a Relationship, Even When There’s No More Love

An unhappy relationship is a source of great stress, which brings with it many negative emotions. Situations like these can even trigger clinical depression. However, for many couples, divorce is not an easy task and they try their best to keep alive a relationship that often should have ended a long time ago and has no solution. We know that there are many reasons why people stay in an unhappy, broken relationship. But who would have thought that fear of disapproval from acquaintances or fear of running out of financial resources can also cause people to maintain an unhealthy union?

O awesome.club decided to find out why some couples have no intention of breaking up, even when love has long since disappeared. In addition, we show you how to overcome yourself and be able to make a sensible decision when you are on the verge of divorce.

Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence cause people to have unhealthy relationships. OPsychologists claim that a person who does not identify and value their virtues is willing to be mistreated, on a subconscious level.🇧🇷 This is due to the fact that, deep down, she feels that she is not worthy of receiving love and respect.

Here is some advice for those who find themselves trapped in toxic relationships due to constant self-criticism:

Invest in yourself. It could be investing in a new hobby, cooking classes, or even taking a vacation. First, you need to take care of yourself. Forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself for past mistakes: think about the future. Speak well of yourself, including and especially to yourself. No thoughts like, “I’m clumsy”, “failed” and “stupid”. You are unique and deserve the best.

After this exercise in assertiveness, it is possible to observe your life with different eyes: those of a truly self-confident person. It’s also a good time to assess how much you need your partner. Perhaps you are “stuck” with it just because you felt unworthy of something better.

In society, unfortunately, strong stereotypes still persist that, after 40 years, life ends and it seems impossible to find a new love. It is the fear of being left alone that causes many couples to cling to each other, even when there is no love or happiness left in the relationship. Not in vain, sociologists emphasize the following: it is possible to change your personal situation at any age. Nearly half of women over 45 who have divorced said he was happier than ever.

Lawyer Charlotte Friedman created a special group to support people who are under great stress after going through a divorce process. She argues that a “mature” divorce has indisputable advantages:

It is very likely that your children have already grown up. Now, people can dedicate themselves to whatever they want: invest more in their career, travel and enjoy as much time as they want. He is already independent and knows what he wants. So, you can finally choose the person who will make you happy. Or even not choosing anyone; it’s your life and only you decide how it should be.

Sometimes an unhappy marriage becomes a trap that traps spouses for money. British law firm Slater & Gordon conducted a study that found that the main reason people stay together despite the absence of love and mutual understanding is fear, including that of running out of money. Of the 2,000 couples surveyed, 20% said they would not consider the option of divorce until they were completely financially secure.

Psychologists advise that it is important to seek economic independence in marriage. This will help to avoid inequalities and conflicts over expenses and money. To escape this economic trap, it is necessary to stop sacrificing for the family at the expense of professional and personal development. If a person is economically independent, he can always abandon a person who makes him unhappy, without waiting for the “appropriate” moment in terms of fear of being financially helpless.

There are also external reasons for maintaining an unhappy relationship: public censure or pressure from older generations of the family. Couples living in unhealthy relationships are worried about what their families, neighbors, and even co-workers will think or say.

Divorce must be a decision made by two people.🇧🇷 Gwyneth Paltrow, in the process of her divorce, shared her experience narrating a “conscious separation”. It is the state of the couple before the final break, when both parties decide how they will live after the divorce and then separate in a civilized way and with full awareness of their actions. The surroundings simply have no doubts and questions, as this was a very deliberate action, taken by two adults who are no longer able to be together for various reasons.

“At least I’m not alone”: this is the motto of people who don’t dare to nip it in the bud and end a relationship that isn’t going well. This is due to the fact that both parties have no perspective, they are convinced that “it is better to have a bird in the hand than two in the bush”. Recent studies have shown that a woman is more likely to file for divorce if she has a wide range of potential partners. As well as economic independence, of course.

The feeling of emptiness when there are no prospects and the certainty that it is better to have a person we already know, even if they don’t make us happy, than a possible “Prince Charming”, leads to sad consequences: such couples live as if they were just familiar people who share a roof.

The solution is to constantly work on yourself and strive to increase your self-esteem. Take an active life stance to choose a partner who suits you rather than being with someone who has already hurt you, both physically and emotionally.

Having children is probably one of the main reasons that limit a parent’s desire to divorce. And this is understandable, we all know the negative consequences of divorce for children: feelings of guilt, anxiety and insecurity can arise. Furthermore, the prospect that the child will be estranged from a parent is not something that people who understand the importance of
of the presence of both. However, psychologists suggest approaching this problem from a different perspective.

Children who witness the challenges of an unhappy marriage on a daily basis have to deal with psychological strain and feel the weight of this unhealthy relationship between their parents. Adult toxic behavior integrates into children’s lives in a negative way, demotivating and harming them. Generally, children blame themselves for all family problems. Therefore, if there is no more love or if the relationship has simply “cold”, the best solution is to look for a mature separation. Yet, before making this vital decision, it is recommended to go to a family psychologist to reduce the child’s stress due to the parents’ separation.

Some people mistakenly believe that happy relationships don’t exist. And this conviction forces them to live in an unhappy marriage for many years. Psychologists believe that these stereotypes arise in childhood: maybe that person didn’t have an example of a family where the parents loved each other with complete sincerity, or their first love resulted in disillusionment.

Often, spouses simply get used to living in a toxic relationship and, even knowing the lack of prospects, have no intention of divorcing. It turns out that habit also makes up love, as well as passion and intimacy. Therefore, unhappy marriages can last for years and years. Therefore, it is recommended to follow up with a psychologist to work on these erroneous stereotypes before ending a marriage.

Many couples stay together not because they are happy at the time, but because they hope to be happy “someday in the future”. Psychologist Levi Baker, together with his colleagues, carried out several studies and explained the mechanism of this phenomenon. It turns out that the hope of a happy future is one of the main factors that weigh in continuing a marriage, even the most unhappy.

Psychotherapist and interpersonal relations expert Jake Eagle also developed a theory on this subject, adding an item: “Hollywood brainwashing”. Jake argues that the romantic stories shown in the movies, in which, even after the worst dramas, the protagonists merge in a passionate kiss, make people believe that in real life things will work out the same way they saw in the plot. But that never happens: in reality, people don’t magically change and “happy endings” occur on rare occasions. The change must happen according to the will of each one, not for the other, but for himself. If the person believes that he has an unhealthy habit (shouting at the other, offending, not respecting his partner’s space or ideas), he must change to be better for himself and not for someone else.

Psychologists claim that people who find themselves in a similar situation have only two options:

Don’t wait for your partner to change. You need to change your own attitude towards your imperfections, accept the other’s lifestyle, and finally settle down once and for all or end the relationship. Paying attention, pondering, and considering ending a relationship where there is an atmosphere of discontent. After all, the years of waiting can result in a bigger disappointment.

Tell us in the comments about your attitude towards people who, despite everything, insist on living in an unhappy marriage. Do you think it’s worth keeping the family despite everything or is it better to start looking for a new love?