8 psychological strategies to manage failure

Manage failure or that emotional residue left behind by actions that do not have the expected result. It is an everyday task. When faced with a new project, whether economic, academic or personal, we are always asked the same question: what if I fail? There is no question that scares us more, and success is what matters most to us. However, have we worried about having a good strategy to know how to get up when we fall? Because many times this is precisely the beginning of success…

Being able to overcome failures, problems, frustration or even stress can mean the difference between succeeding or sinking. in a well with difficult exit. Therefore, we must work not only to achieve our goals, but also to know how to manage failure.

What do we understand by success?

Success depends on each situation and each person. Generally, it is associated with the economic and labor sphere. A good salary, derived from having a good job. However, the success It is materialized in numerous planes of our lives. Social desirability, the quality of the social relationships we establish, finding that person who complements us…

We are not always going to get everything we want, and knowing how to handle these situations will help us cope better and even emerge stronger.

What do we understand by coping?

Coping involves a series of thoughts and cognitive processes that guide our behavior toward solving the problem. We are continually changing the way we proceed, depending on the resources we have or the demands that the environment, or ourselves, generate.

And what are those strategies? Maybe we are thinking about specific and highly elaborate processes. However, any type of response that we give immediately to an event (whether good or bad), It will be a coping method. Thus, crying over the breakup of a relationship is in itself a coping strategy. But it is also good to go out that night partying with your friends, go to the gym “to unwind” or stay watching a marathon of your favorite movies. They are all different from each other, but equally valid for managing that feeling of discomfort.

General strategies

We can distinguish at first, and in a very general way, two types of strategies:

Problem solving strategies: those that are aimed at focusing the change on the problem. The latter has been the cause of generating unrest, so by modifying it, we seek to transform the situation.Emotional regulation strategies: adaptation of the emotional response we give to the problem. That is, it could be understood as a self-control mechanism. We adapt the given solution to the stimulus.

Not all strategies positively resolve the conflict. We may respond in a given moment in a certain way, but the subsequent emotional consequences may not help improve the situation. On the contrary, they can even make it worse. For example, if we respond with a shout (emotional regulation) to a person who has caused us harm, the situation remains unchanged. But we also perpetuate this damage, entrenching the conflict that already existed.

Ways to manage failure

Lazarus and Folkman They were the pioneers in looking at our way of managing failure and its repercussions. They evaluated and classified the thoughts and actions we carry out to deal with various problems that we may face throughout our lives and that can be stressful.

In total there are eight strategies that encompass both those that refer to problem solving and emotional regulation. In turn, each of them consists of a series of items reflected in different ways of behavior or thinking; shapes that They encompass the different ways that people have to solve the problems that we may face.. This was collected in a questionnaire, the famous Ways of Coping.

Types of strategies to manage failure

Confrontation: the person returns to reality to try to modify it, in some way he seeks to lift up that failure, to try again. Sometimes, this strategy entails great risks since it implies that the person has to invest more resources; either to get that new opportunity, or to ensure success.Distancing: contrary to the previous one. In this case, the subject tries to distance himself from what has happened. Especially in terms of the attributions that he makes, trying to minimize his role in what happened.Self-control: The person’s efforts are focused on regulating emotions. It does not mean doing nothing, but rather it is a mental action.Social support: This strategy is based on finding support in the environment that surrounds us. Sometimes, externalizing what we feel can help us focus better on the problem. Talking to other people, having them listen to us and advise us, can help us see things from another perspective.Acceptance of responsibility: recognize the role that each one has played in the development of what has happened. Accepting the fact that we may have been partly to blame (internal locus of control), focuses the resolution of the problem on ourselves.Escape or avoidance: we fantasize about possible solutions that we could carry out, but none are implemented. Other strategies that fall within this group may be more active, but they also respond to this avoidance scheme: eating, drinking, smoking, etc.Planning: Possible strategies are thought about and developed to solve the problem as a coping method. Planning can also refer to drawing a map of action to minimize the losses associated with that failure.Positive reassessment: perceive the positive aspects that we can obtain from it. It is popularly understood as “seeing the good side of things.”

In short, life is a constant learning. Rarely does the channel in which we participate take the desired course, thus and in this sense the feeling of failure or a feeling of frustration may appear. Something normal, there is nothing pathological about it. However, Our opportunity to grow and get a return on what we invested appears when we put our emotional resources into action to manage that failure.. It is then when those vital lessons appear that one can only learn firsthand and that make us even wiser.

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