If you don’t want superficial relationships, don’t fall into these mistakes

For many people, love is nothing more than a game. A fun in which the feelings that the other person may have do not count for anything. In all of this, manipulation is present that will lead the relationship adrift. It is impossible for this situation to continue over time. Although it is also true that the person who plays with love sooner or later gets burned. This is the reality of superficial relationships.

Perhaps it is the fear of formal relationships that urges us to make them fraught with instability. Although we “tried”, we were unable to form a solid bond. This behavior causes many relationships to end long before they begin.. That is why it is very important not to fall into certain mistakes.

You refuse to give your relationships a name.

It is true that labels pigeonhole and limit, but When two people want to see each other, and share certain moments of their lives, it is necessary to talk. and give a name to what is happening between them. If you refuse to give your relationship a name, it will be meaningless and you will both feel lost. Are we a couple? Friends with benefits?

It’s not fair to let actions speak for themselves.. The other person has to know if you are free to see other people or, on the contrary, you are starting a serious and formal relationship. One of you may not agree, so immersing her in a lie or leaving the situation up in the air is not the right thing to do.

This circumstance happens on more than one occasion, which indicates a clear fear of commitment and labels that can cause one of the two members of the couple to run away. But, If you do not talk about the relationship that is maintained, illusions and false ideas may arise. which can cause much more serious problems such as anxiety.

You only look for it when you want

People have feelings and we cannot treat them as if they were objects.. They are not there to meet our needs whenever we want, unless this has been previously discussed. This situation has a very clear name that you may feel identified with: use.

None of us likes to be used by other people. Have you ever done it? Have you ignored someone until you needed them? These types of relationships end up hurting, undermining self-esteem and causing feelings of inferiority. To consider a person as a simple instrument is to strip them of their nature, to give them another that is not real: neither in life nor in love.

There are many people who, because they suffer from low self-esteem or emotional dependence, give in and give in until they end up settled in a relationship of this style. But you have to love yourself a little more. You don’t deserve to be used, you deserve to be loved. Remember that you are not an object, but a person. Don’t let yourself be used.

When we say the opposite of what we think

When friendships became popular, many people wanted to participate in the new trend. But is this type of relationship really what they wanted to maintain? Perhaps, many people found themselves involved in these types of relationships not because they wanted them, but as a way to confront the classical thought that characterized love as an eternal feelingor at least until reality dictated otherwise.

In a relationship without references it is likely to perpetuate a game that at first fans the flames, but if it is maintained in intensity and time it ends with it. A seemingly innocent game in which we send a message, but then take a while to respond. This is done on purpose, in order to maintain the mystery and make the other person worry or be more interested in us.

The truth is that currently relationships have become fragile, either because our understanding of love has changed or because we have somehow destroyed the previous one but have not known how to create a new one in its place.

We have criticized the lack of communication that couples have, but now by defending the absence of “labels” we feel confused and without points of reference. Perhaps we are clear about what we don’t want, but not so much about what we do want or what we are willing to negotiate to reach an agreement.

In the end, we have changed the classic definitions for emptiness, a emptiness that is not harmless in that it is a source of confusion and emotional damage and this is something that as a society and as individuals we should think about.

You might be interested…