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7 Theories That Explain Why We Like Some People And Not Others

Love has 3 stages, and different hormones are activated in each of them. Furthermore, it has long been proven that the changes that occur in our brain when we fall in love are similar to mental illness. But what happens to our body exactly? And why do some people like us more than others? Science gives its answers.

O awesome.club suggests that you get to know the results of 7 studies, experiences and interesting facts that reveal a little more about ourselves, in addition to giving clues so that you can establish more productive and beneficial communication with other people.

Text messages with a period are seen as lying and/or angry

Researchers at Binghamton University, in the United States, led by psychology professor Celia Klin, conducted an experiment with 126 students. They were given dialogues consisting of 2 sentences: the first was a question; and the second, different variations of responses formed by a single word, such as “yes”, “ahan”, “of course”, etc. The main characteristic of the responses was the presence or absence of dots at the end. Afterwards, the participants were asked to evaluate the degree of veracity of the answers. And surprisingly, in most cases, responses without a dot at the end were judged as sincere, and those with a dot as false.

When we exchange text messages, we don’t receive non-verbal cues such as facial expression, voice tone and volume, and body language. In their place come all sorts of textual imitations: capital letters and exclamation points when we “scream” and get angry, misspellings made on purpose when we want to show a lack of interest or are busy. The dot is a sign of firmness and the intention to end the conversation, as linguistics professor Mark Liberman explains. This is why we think that the person who puts a period at the end of the answer is angry.

We behave best when good behavior is expected of us.

According to the Pygmalion Effect, we see people in the way that corresponds to the ideas we have of them. This, in turn, causes people to behave in a way that confirms others’ expectations.

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In an article published in Harvard Magazinesocial psychologist Amy Cuddy explains, “If you think someone is an idiot, you end up treating them in a way that makes the unwanted behavior appear, only to later say, ‘See, I told you he was an idiot.’ . This is one of the most dangerous mistakes that ultimately lead people to believe in stereotypes and assign labels. However, in reality, the scheme is simple, and everything comes from our own thoughts and beliefs. For example: ‘ I think skinny people are bad → thin people annoy me with anticipation → the thin person behaves negatively’ “.

By knowing this pattern, you can use it to your advantage and, depending on the situation, treat the person in a way that allows him to behave in the right way.

We are attracted to people who have traits we like about ourselves as well as those we don’t have.

This rule worked, works, and always will, although we don’t always stop to think about it. It consists of two parts:

we like people who have something we like about ourselves; and those who have positive qualities that overcome what we hate about ourselves.

Let’s take a simple example: a young and beautiful woman, proud of her appearance, but who hates the fact that she is shy and too withdrawn, meets a man who is also handsome, but very charismatic and self-confident. So much so that it ends up compensating for the young woman’s insecurity. This mixture of certain qualities makes him the ideal partner for her. The two people are similar, but at the same time, they are not alike. Thus, they complement each other.

We tend to trust strangers who seem like someone who has earned our trust in the past.

A group of researchers from the United States carried out an experiment in which 29 participants had to make a choice: keep 10 dollars or invest all (or a part) in one of the 3 strangers shown in photographs. During a series of games, participants noticed that one of these men shared the benefits of investments very often, while the second did so from time to time and the third very rarely.

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Then the second part of the experience began. Players were given the option to choose a partner for the new game. Four people in the photos were new, while the remaining 54 photos were manipulated in Photoshop. As a result, the people shown on them became more or less similar to the previous test participants.

The conclusion of the experiment was that the participants tended to choose as partners people who resembled those with whom they had played for the first time, and who made a good impression. Furthermore, more than 68% of respondents rejected photos of players who had at least something like the third man from the first game, who rarely shared profits and was unreliable.

Our brain can calculate someone else’s popularity

In virtually all social groups, a person’s popularity determines their social status and connections. But how do we recognize that certain people are popular, even when collective preferences are different from our own interests?

In a study published in the American scientific journal PNAS, experts asked volunteers to rate the degree of popularity of people through photos on social networks. At the same time, the participants’ brains were carefully analyzed. The test result led to the conclusion that, when it comes to guessing the popularity of certain members of a social group, certain areas of the brain are activated. This means that the degree of attraction that some people awaken in others is determined by a specific neural system. For problem solving, this system connects to both affective (emotional) appraisal and social cognition systems, which in turn play a decisive role in the accuracy of the verdict.

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We like it when we are seen the way we want

People want to be perceived according to the ideas they have about themselves. We all seek confirmation of our views, whether positive or negative. This phenomenon has been tested many times in different universities. The researchers asked individuals with both positive and negative perceptions of themselves who they would like to talk to: whether people who made a positive or negative impression of them.

Participants with a positive self-image preferred people who thought highly of them, while others preferred critics. That’s because people like to deal with people who offer comments that match their own self-identification. Therefore, if the idea that the interlocutor has of us matches ours, communication unfolds smoothly, as we feel understood.

The more symmetrical a person’s appearance is, the prettier they look.

When you see a beautiful person, you hardly ever say, “Wow, you are so symmetrical!” However, many studies confirm that the symmetry of the face and body play an important role in how attractive a person is. Of course, no one is completely symmetrical, because biology is not perfect. However, it has been proven that the lower the level of oxidative stress (formed by the accumulation of harmful agents called free radicals) in humans, the more symmetrical they will be.

An article in the British newspaper The Independent cites an experiment in which, in order to assess the symmetry in the appearance of several men, 10 different parameters were taken into account, from the height of the ears to the length of the fingers. Then, tests were performed to assess the level of stress mentioned above. Finally, a group of women were asked to rate the men’s photos according to their level of physical attractiveness. The experts then found that men with more symmetrical features and lower levels of stress were considered the most beautiful.

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