7 reasons why it is difficult to have friends

Having friends as an adult can be complicated for many people. Understanding the new “rules of the game” in relation to friendships established in childhood and adolescence is a first step. Understanding what issues can make it difficult to make new friendships is as follows. Do you find it difficult to have friends? So, read on…

The first reason why it is difficult to have friends is that It takes work to maintain friendships over time. Meeting people can already be a complicated matter for some people as they get older. But acquaintances or “friendships” are one thing and having friends is quite another.

Another reason is that Making friends in adulthood is much more difficult than in adolescence. What’s more, many of those relationships that we had as friendships are uncovered and we discover that there was no true friendship. Thus, many people reach adulthood and realize that they hardly have any friends, although many long to have this type of relationship.

Reasons that make friendship difficult

People who feel like they don’t have many friends should consider the possible reasons why this is happening. To begin with, we must keep in mind that the rules of the game change over the years. People evolve, create their lives around their work and family, and go through different experiences. All of this influences your relationships with others.

Furthermore, when we are children and adolescents, we follow behavioral guidelines dictated by the environment, doing what we believe we should do. But, with the passage of time, We are understanding things in a different way and many situations that we previously accepted as valid are no longer valid.

In this sense, There are certain types of issues and attitudes that make it very difficult to make friends and maintain friendly relationships that they refer to; above all, to the character and way of being of each one. Ask yourself the following questions to discover the reasons that may be making it difficult for you to have friends.

1. Do you complain a lot?

Are you one of those people who is constantly complaining about your job, lack of money or how unfair and mean life is? People don’t like to waste their time on negative and pessimistic people.. Try to develop a more positive attitude and look for more interesting topics to discuss instead of always talking about your problems and how bad the world is.

2. Are you selfish?

Friendship involves giving and receiving. Sometimes you have to give more than you receive. This includes listening, yielding and sharing, both materially and spiritually. But If you are only willing to receive, the scale becomes unbalanced. Keep in mind that being selfish is an attitude and that no one will want to be your friend if you act only thinking about yourself.

3. Do you care about people?

Another reason why it is difficult to have friends is that If you don’t care about what happens in the lives of the people around you, it is very difficult for you to build and maintain any friendship. If you want to make friends you must start by showing genuine interest in them.

4. Do you dramatize? Do you cause problems?

If you are a problematic person who overdramatizes problems, you will find that people do not show interest in what happens to you, What’s more, it tries to disappear. If you like to do things to irritate others, do not know how to keep secrets, criticize or seek to blame others, it is very difficult for people to feel interested in establishing any type of relationship with you.

5. Do you keep track of the damage that others do to you?

Friendship is a type of relationship that involves forgiving. But if you are the type of person who keeps track of the insults and harms of others, you are implying that you feel like you are the center of the universe and that you consider that everything should revolve around you. This way you cannot maintain or start any type of relationship, much less a friendship relationship.

6. Do you gossip?

Gossiping about others gives a very bad image of people.. It may be funny at first, but when you hear someone speak badly about other people, tell personal things or laugh at their flaws and problems, you can’t help but think: Will he speak badly of me like that too?

7. Are you bossy? Do you listen to others? Do you respect limits?

Being bossy won’t help you have friends either. It is one thing to have initiative and want to help and quite another to organize the situation or speak. ex cathedra, telling everyone what to do.

To make friends, listening and not going overboard are always good ideas. Being smart, crossing the limits of respect and acting as if everyone has to do what you say is not the best thing to do if you want to build healthy relationships. And you? Do you still find it difficult to have friends?

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