Do you have an appropriate scale of values?

The scale of values or priorities constitutes that guide that we all build. This type of manual has the power to make our lives easier, but also to complicate it if it is the source of numerous concerns or dissonances.

The value scale is that classification that we make on a mental level and that helps us make decisions. Not all value scales have to coincide, and furthermore, depending on our personality, our age, even our sex, it is likely that we have one value scale or another. On the other hand, this scale is changing and the order is sensitive to circumstances.

On the other hand, there are no correct or incorrect value scales, but there are dysfunctional ones.. When our scale of values is not adequate, it is normal for us to suffer from situations, people or events in life that, in principle, should not hurt us so much.

If we give too much importance to vital contents as superficial as our physique, our profession, or whether or not we have a partner, it is very likely that we will end up becoming obsessed with achieving goals related to those values.

Although the desire is legitimate and drives us to live and advance in the paths that interest usit is also important to differentiate desires from needs and it would, therefore, be advisable to avoid constructing a scale of values that condemns us to constant suffering or frustration.

Why are there unhealthy value scales?

It happens to all of us that in one way or another, Our scale of values is not always the perfect scale and this is normal. There are people who place more value on being thin than on being good friends, good parents or children, for example.

This happens because we live in a society and a culture, especially the Western one, which already predisposes us to have an imbalanced scale of values.

If I am a 16-year-old teenager and I am continually seeing that society is governed by canons of beauty – a measuring rule that largely conditions the evaluation of others – it will not be strange for the teenager to focus on adapting her physique. to this pattern. Furthermore, it is also likely that she considers him a primary target, suffering on those occasions when you feel that obstacles appear that you could not overcome to achieve it.

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Also, if I have internalized that the grades make me more deserving of the love and consideration of others, it is likely that I will do my best to improve my grades. So, Learning would be relegated to a second term, prioritizing evaluation.

The thing is that social ideas about the different areas of the human being are extremely biased. Not only do they associate possessing certain traits, such as being handsome or intelligent, with being a good person, but, as if that were not enough, they also link it to happiness.

Who has not heard the phrase: “you’re going to miss the rice“, “you are going to stay to dress saints“? These phrases, for example, give value to the fact of having a partner, children and family. And be careful! Of course it has value, but We cannot place it at the top of our scale, since we may not have it and that would not be an obstacle to being a worthwhile person.

What happens, if we believe these things, is that we suffer a lot if in the end “we are left to dress saints” because we tell ourselves that we are failures or that we are second-class people, when this has no real basis.

What would be the ideal scale of values?

There is no ideal scale of values, but Yes, it would be very convenient to review our own and identify in which areas of our life we suffer the most.. Probably, if you see that you are stuck in one area, you do not flow as in the others and on top of that you suffer from it, you think too much or invest a good part of your energy in it, you may have given it too much value.

It wouldn’t be bad if you began to realize with the eyes of reality that surely what you give so much value to, really doesn’t have it. Or at least, not to that extent.

We must keep in mind that what makes almost all human beings truly happy is, first of all, being good people, with ourselves and with others. If this is true, we can subtract value from the rest of the things, so that they become desirable goals or objectives, but not essential.

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Behaving well with others, helping them, supporting them is a value that any human being can make their own.. It is a practically innate value that comes from within. When this value is not developed, the person is hardly happy, even if the rest of the areas have been cultivated.

You may have a lot of money, a spectacular house, lots of sex, and a socially admirable profession, while your circle of support is very small. Why do you want everything you own then?

Although sometimes we may think, because it is what we have been sold, that the order is: first the superficial in order to obtain the love of others and my own, the reality is that it is just the opposite. First of all, I would have to cultivate accepting myself, being simply me and at the same time loving others for who they are. Once I develop this value, I will surely get the others. The good thing is that they will no longer be needs, but genuine desires.

Security, friendship and love attract the rest of the values and, by extension, they also make us more attractive. Also, the best thing about this is not what you get, but the way you enjoy it, which is much better.