7 keys to stop being a bitter person

Bitterness is a feeling that relates to frustration, resentment and sadness, one that often arises as a consequence of an event of injustice or disappointment. The feeling not only affects the person who develops it, but also the circle that surrounds them (friends, family and colleagues).

When bitterness reaches pathological limits it is considered a disorder. Although not everyone recognizes it, many researchers classify it as post-traumatic bitterness disorder (PTED).

Now, stopping being a bitter person is not easy, although implementing some lifestyle changes can be very useful.

How to stop being a bitter person

Bitterness is a very complex feeling. This is because it brings together many emotions, which generates a storm in the mood of the person who develops it. This is why it is so difficult to leave it behind, without this implying that it is impossible. Let’s look at seven tips to stop being a bitter person.

1. Identify the catalysts for your bitterness

As we have already mentioned, bitterness It is born from a process that is perceived as unfair or after a situation that has caused great disappointment. A divorce, a layoff, or certain physical characteristics are just some examples. Almost any negative event that triggers uncertainty, anger, disorientation and deterioration of mood.

Identifying the source of your bitterness is of great help to understand why you assume this attitude, and also to try to avoid it. In fact, you will not be able to overcome this feeling if you do not first resolve the reasons why it is there. This is the first step to stop being a bitter person, something you can do alone or in the company of a professional.

2. Include a new habit or hobby in your routine

Being a bitter person implies an accumulation of great tension and stress.. There are many ways to channel this, but one of the most effective is through habits or hobbies that involve movement or at least distraction.

Playing video games, learning a language or playing an instrument, reading, listening to music, and writing can help you deal with frustrations.

Be careful, however, that the habit you choose does not become a new source of support for your bitterness. Some of them require great concentration and discipline, and if you don’t deal with them properly they can make you even more bitter. Try several until you find the one that best suits your needs and tastes..

3. Exercise regularly

Exercise is a great distractor and enhancer of psychological well-being. The relationship is not questioned by specialists, so much so that it is often part of complementary treatment for anxiety, depression and other disorders. Any type of activity will benefit you, as long as you implement it in the medium and long term.

As a starting point you can take into account the recommendations of the World Health Organization (WHO); this is, 150 minutes of intense activity or failing that, 300 minutes of moderate activity per week. You can choose to exercise or play a sport, make the choice based on your tastes and the time you have.

4. Expand your social circle

Talking and sharing with friends is a distracting activity, one that can help you relieve the tension and stress you have accumulated. Of course, don’t just choose to talk to them virtually, but arrange in-person meetings. Doing this is very important to avoid isolation, as this can further enhance the feeling..

5. Do things that you associate with happiness

If we have to make a quick comparison, we can say that bitterness is the antithesis of happiness. Certainly, when we think of a bitter person, we always do so by relating them to unhappiness.. To counteract this, you can more frequently include activities that you subjectively associate with increasing your happiness.

Sometimes the simplest things can make us happy. Eating chocolate, eating with your parents, going for a walk or exploring nature can help you deal with this attitude.

Make space in your weekly routine so that at least once a week you dedicate time to what truly makes you happy.

6. Practice forgiveness

In two senses: the forgiveness you grant to others for things they have said or done, and the forgiveness of yourself. We have already noted that bitterness is associated with resentment and this is the opposite side of forgiveness.. The moment you learn to forgive, you will have taken a big leap to stop being a bitter person.

7. Regulate your expectations

There is a phenomenon known as he arrival myth. It alludes to the tendency to believe that once you have achieved certain objectives or goals (having a partner, losing weight, getting married, getting a well-paying job, becoming independent, moving, and others), your life will magically fall into place. When this does not happen, feelings of frustration arise, which can give way to bitterness.

Regulating your expectations is very important. It is known that emotional regulation plays an important role in them, so you should learn to control certain emotions and impulses to avoid falling prey to disappointment. In company with the previous tips, this will be useful for you to stop being a bitter person.

Changing an attitude or behavior is not easy, especially when you have carried it on for a long time. Stopping being a bitter person takes time, so patience will be the best virtue you can choose as a companion. Sometimes the mediation of a professional can be essential, so don’t completely close the door to seeking psychological help.

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