7 keys to act when they tell you that you have lied and it is not true

How to act when they tell you that you have lied and it is not true? The first key is not to lose your cool and react with anger or annoyance. As they say, racy and angry reactions identify the culprit. In this sense, it is best to maintain temperance and understand that these situations, although very painful, can occur throughout our entire existence.

It is possible that more than one person has experienced a situation of this caliber firsthand. Suddenly and without knowing why, they blame us for having done something specific that has nothing to do with us.. Third parties may even put words in our mouths that we have not said. It may also be the case that our partner accuses us of having cheated on them.

In these contexts, just as there is no room for an aggressive response, neither can we resort to escape, silence or letting it go. When faced with a false accusation, there is only one reaction: assertive, firm and confident communication.. We analyze it below.

How to act when they tell you that you have lied and it is not true?

Being falsely accused can hurt as much as a physical blow. It is an attack on integrity, self-concept and self-esteem. Studies regarding this experience always delve into cases of people who have been falsely accused of a crime. The psychological impact in these cases is devastating.

In this way, research work, such as those carried out in the department of psychological medicine at King’s College London, highlights the importance of developing mental health mechanisms for these cases. Because Those who suffer from this type of erroneous accusations suffer loss of identity, psychological and physical problems., employment and adaptation problems. Not counting the family suffering.

Now, beyond the criminal sphere, there is the everyday scenario, where sometimes they tell you that you have lied and it is not true. How to act? What strategies can we apply to demonstrate our truth and overcome this grievance? We analyze it.

1. Try to manage your emotions: neither attack them nor ignore them

We pointed it out at the beginning. On average, the first reaction we experience when we are called a liar is to feel angry and react intensely. It’s not appropriate. Let’s avoid it. What’s more, a study by the Harvard Business School and the University of Toronto indicates that Those who angrily deny the accusation and those who remain silent are equally guilty before others.

The first step will be to stay calm and trust in ourselves and our truth.

2. Ask yourself why that specific person or people are accusing you.

It may be a simple error and if so, the problem will be resolved quickly. Now, sometimes, we can be accused of lying for other reasons. In the context of the couple, accusations of this type can appear due to lack of trust. This is something we must consider.

On the other hand, in work contexts, False accusations can arise in highly competitive contexts. It would be about attacking an opponent or using harassment to obtain a benefit.

3. Ask open questions and ask them to justify the accusations

When they tell you that you have lied and it is not true, you have to understand what they are accusing you of. Avoid falling into reproaches, attacks and verbalizations full of anger in the face of the grievance. It is better for the other person to explain those reasons why you are considered a liar. Let’s listen to the other patiently and allowing them to speak.

To promote this situation, let’s start by asking open questions such as “What makes you come to the conclusion that I have lied?”, “Can you justify to me in detail what has led you to such a clear conclusion about me?”

4. Detect inconsistencies and face them assertively

As the other person presents his or her justifications, it won’t take long for you to spot the inconsistencies. That will be your starting point, These contradictory and erroneous ideas are the springboard to act assertively and refute the other’s arguments..

It is imperative that you do not lose your calm, that you regulate your emotions well to be able to explain yourself clearly, confidently and forcefully. Any out of place gesture will make us look guilty without being so. In this sense, balance and serenity are the best candidates to sustain us.

5. Make use of indirect questions

In contexts of injustice and false accusations, It is good to use open and direct questions and also indirect questions.. With the latter, we want our accuser to explore and think about his own behavior. Examples of this resource are the following phrases:

“I would like to know what you want or what you are looking for by accusing me of lying.” “The truth is, I don’t know why you didn’t ask me first before deducing that I was lying.” “The truth is that I still don’t understand what made you come to that idea.” “I wonder what I could have done to you to make you have such a distorted view of me.”

6. Seek support

When they tell you that you have lied and it is not true, there may be someone who is capable of proving that falsehood. Having support is essential in those moments of contradiction where we are accused of something we have not done. As we well know, there are situations in which our word alone is not enough.

7. Assume that, to some people, you will always be a liar.

When they tell you that you have lied and it is not true, you experience a very particular pain. Trust in someone is broken, it is an attack on one’s own identity and self-esteem. That wound lasts for a long time, even though at some point our good work is demonstrated..

Be that as it may, there is something evident. To some people, we will always be fake. For whatever reasons, there are those who will always harbor that conception. In this situation we can only accept it and keep our self-concept unscathed at all costs. We know our truth and integrity.

Fortunately, There are many more people who know us and who will never doubt us.

You might be interested…