6 things to do if your ex wants to be your friend –

Is it possible to be friends after breaking up? It is logical that you think that a simple friendship does not harm anyone, but at the same time you have the suspicion that having a relationship of any kind with your ex is not a good idea.

Do not panic. In this article we will tell you exactly what you have to do when your ex wants to be your friend. This way you will make the right decision whatever the case.

We advise you to follow these six steps if your ex wants to be your friend:

1. Don’t give an impulsive response

No matter what happens, don’t give the first answer that comes to mind. Being friends with your ex is something that you have to analyze in detail. Take a few days to think about it. You have the right to evaluate the situation.

At first you may be tempted to say yes. But you have to ask yourself if it’s really worth keeping that person in your life. Are you willing to make the emotional adjustments to treat him only as a friend?

In other cases, your first impulse may be a resounding “no.” But then think about whether that instinct is because you harbor some anger or resentment. Are you afraid of something?

Since there is no universal answer as to whether it is valid to maintain a friendship with an ex, you need to think carefully about whether it is something that is going to work and that you can handle.

2. Think if he really has a place as a friend in your life

What do you look for in your friends? Does he have those qualities? It could be that you had a strong emotional or sexual bond when you were together, but once the relationship ends, that connection disappears as well.

Do you still have enough in common to make a friendship worth it?

Remember that a friend is a person with whom you can feel comfortable, be yourself, have a good time and share tastes and interests. If you think of your ex “as a friend” and can’t help but miss the relationship, then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to enjoy that friendship.

Also think that if they remain friends, they will eventually have to meet new partners. Can you handle it? If you feel jealous at the idea of ​​seeing him with another woman, it is not a good idea to remain friends with her. If he is the one who couldn’t handle it, then it could affect your new relationship.

3. Don’t do good things that seem bad

Do you and your ex know that the past is in the past and now you just have a healthy friendship? If you’re both sure about that, congratulations! However, you both need to consider how to handle yourself once you have new partners.

Neither your new boyfriend nor his new girlfriend have to be as calm about their friendship as you are. Put yourself in your new partner’s shoes and think about how you would feel if they continued to be friends with their ex.

Maybe you would tolerate a superficial friendship, but not one that is too intimate or deep. Or you definitely wouldn’t stand it if they kept seeing each other all the time and alone. Before making the decision, consider that you must be consistent with what you yourself demand.

If you would really be comfortable with your boyfriend maintaining a friendship with his ex-girlfriend, then you can do it too. Of course, always doing things with honesty and transparency.

4. Keep the past in the past

If you decide that it is possible for you to be friends, there are a couple of things you should be careful about. Mainly, you should avoid reliving the past and talking about the good times you had together when you were a couple.

Your new friendship must be a “clean slate.” And while they already know each other as a couple, they surely also know that there are good reasons why they are no longer together. Remember them.

Both of you should be clear about what things you have in common besides your courtship and focus your friendship on that. Otherwise, it will become a kind of eternally unfinished cycle.

If you begin to detect that your ex is starting to talk too much about the past, or you yourself feel the temptation to do so, try to divert the conversation to other topics. If you definitely don’t make it, perhaps the feelings are still very fresh and you need to give yourself more time apart.

5. Don’t treat each other the same way as in the past

No matter how much trust you have, there are limits that should not be crossed in friendship. Especially in the friendship between ex-boyfriends.

They cannot expect to treat each other with the same trust or intimacy as before. That would be equivalent to something very close to emotional infidelity, if someone already has a new partner. And even if they don’t, treating each other the same as before would only confuse things for both of them.

They need to limit pet names and physical contact because they can be very powerful triggers for memories. They might even get carried away and end up in bed again, which would only reopen the wound. That would prevent them from moving forward with their lives.

6. Make sure there are no ulterior motives

You are clear that you only want friendship. But are you sure he is too? Couldn’t this be an excuse to be your boyfriend again at some point?

If you have the suspicion that it is something like this, it is best not to be friends with your ex. At least for the moment. Later you may be able to give him the opportunity, when you see that his intentions are totally sincere.

The same applies to you. Maybe you tell yourself that you just want to keep that person in your life as a friend. Is that really true? Don’t you secretly hope that in time they will return as a couple?

Keep in mind that when there are ulterior motives, friendships do not work and can even ruin or prevent other relationships.

How to act if my ex wants to be my friend?

It is important that you know that each case is different. The reasons and conditions under which your relationship ended are a key factor in deciding whether or not it is worth keeping that person in your life.

If your relationship wasn’t violent, abusive, or toxic, and you simply broke up for normal reasons, then it’s worth considering whether or not to keep the friendship.

What does psychology say that my ex wants to be friends?

When we have a relationship with someone, that person takes on a lot of emotional importance in our lives. It is perfectly logical that your ex does not want to lose you completely if that relationship ends.

The most logical solution to not stop seeing you is, precisely, to ask you to be friends. Remember that this can be a healthy decision between two mature people, or a very bad decision between two who are not really clear about what they feel.

He broke up with me and wants to be friends, what do I do?

If he broke up with you but wants to remain friends with you, he probably feels like you don’t work out as a couple, but considers you a valuable person in his life.

If you are still in love with him, it is best to tell him that at the moment you cannot be his friend. If you feel like it doesn’t affect you too much, you can give the friendship a chance and see how things develop.

What to do if my ex doesn’t want my friendship?

In these cases, the best thing you can do is respect their decision. There are many reasons why he might decide not to be your friend. You can ask him what that reason is and give him your views, but nothing more.

Perhaps in the future, when the wounds have really healed, it will be possible for them to resume some kind of contact. They even end up laughing about the problems of the past. Remember: when one of the two does not want to remain friends with his ex, friendship is not possible.

If you are very interested in being his friend, you should allow at least a year and a half to pass before seeking him out again. Maybe with a cooler head he will accept. Or maybe you yourself realize that it wasn’t such a good idea.

Is being friends with your ex like raising a chicken?

Some people say that being friends with your ex is like raising a chicken, because they believe that sooner or later you are going to “eat” them. It’s a way of saying that at some point they will give in to the temptation to become physically intimate again.

In many cases this saying is true, but in many others it is not. It depends on the maturity and true intentions of the people. The important thing is that both of you are honest and avoid those situations.

Why does your ex ask you to be friends?

You may have broken up some time ago, breaking all contact, and months or years later, he comes back and wants to be friends with you.

The main reason is that maybe enough time has passed to get over the breakup, and he sees no reason why they can’t get along. If they had a good relationship, it stands to reason that they still have things in common.

But be careful, he could also look for you because he feels alone. If your ex asks you to be friends and you notice that he starts to get too close to you or has courting attitudes, then he doesn’t want a friendship. He wants to get back with you.

The third option is that he needs something from you. Maybe he doesn’t want to come back and isn’t really that interested in friendship, but he needs some favor that he knows you can do for him.

Can ex-boyfriends be friends?

Of course! But for this to work, both must have the same intentions and be honest with each other.

Enough time must have passed since they were dating, so that they have been able to overcome their problems and feelings.

It takes a lot of maturity for ex-boyfriends to have a healthy relationship. If you don’t feel like they have that level of openness and awareness, it’s best not to try, because they could get hurt.

Now that you know what to do if your ex asks you for friendship, you may still be asking yourself the question “why does my ex want to be my friend?” If you have doubts, it is best to talk to him and ask him to honestly tell you his reasons.

In the end, friendship is based on trust.

See also: