6 sexual secrets that we usually hide from our partner

Sincerity is one of the main pillars that support couple relationships.. However, everyone keeps something to themselves, sometimes harmful and sometimes harmless. This is the case of sexual secrets, whose content is embarrassing for the person who keeps them.

What leads a person to keep aspects of their sexual life to themselves? Sometimes these are harmless preferences that, if revealed, would even help you enjoy sex with your partner more.

In this article, you will be able to learn about the sexual secrets that are most frequently hidden from their partners, as well as the reasons for doing so. Don’t miss it, because it says a lot about the sexual and social culture of current times.

The sexual secrets that we usually hide from our partner

Trying to learn more about sexual secrets and the reasons for not sharing them, within the framework of this study, the researchers administered a questionnaire to 195 university students. There were differences between men and women, both on the topic of secrets and on the reasons for keeping them.

More than a third of the participants, specifically 36%, said they kept at least one sexual secret. 55% of them also said they had revealed this secret to their partner at some point.

1. Having emotionally deceived the partner

This fact appeared in both men and women. No distinction was made between deception involving physical relationships or purely emotional infidelities. Definitely, both sexes had romantic feelings for people outside the relationship and they hid it from their partner.

2. Taste for BDSM

The acronym BDSM contains the terms bondagediscipline and domination, submission and sadism, and masochism. It is a series of alternative sexual practices based on mutual consent and that play with pain thresholds and dominance-submission roles.

3. One of the most common sexual secrets: the use of pornography

Both men and women reported having consumed pornographic material.. Although this practice is becoming less and less hidden – as pornography is also beginning to be produced that is more in line with the values ​​of respect and consent – it is still an object of shame.

4. Having had a threesome

Men scored higher than women in this secret, that is, they they more frequently hid having had sexual relations with two people at the same time. Reluctance to ask the other person to experiment with this practice is often reported in monogamous couples.

5. Interest in sex toys

In this case It was the women who scored highest when sharing with their partner that they were attracted to the use of sex toys. Typically, these objects are first tried alone and then included in joint sexuality.

On the other hand, women who like these accessories report greater satisfaction and self-knowledge in the area of ​​sexuality.

6. The worst of sexual secrets: episodes of abuse

This study discovered a painful fact: The secret that was at the top of the women’s list was the existence of some sexual abuse in their lives. Going through an experience like this usually leaves a deep and traumatic mark on the victims, but it is one of the least reported crimes. It also doesn’t seem to be shared very often with someone who is supposed to support and understand you.

Why are sexual secrets hidden?

Why keep secrets in a relationship? As part of this study, participants were also asked why they did not share their secrets with their partners. The results were the following:

The men kept certain information secret, such as infidelities or pornography consumption, for fear of reaping the other’s disapproval. They also reported not wanting their secrets to affect or end the relationship. Women reported not revealing their sexual secrets. because they perceived that their partners would not be understanding. Other reasons also appeared, such as fear of disclosure of their secret and shame.

Many of the women who feared that their secret would be revealed had also at some point experienced the public ridicule of their secret being revealed. Furthermore, the people who told their secret to others tended to be close people, such as friends, family, or ex-partners.
Nevertheless, Many people also reported positive experiences when revealing sexual secrets.. In the case of sexual tastes, there were even men and women who said they had enriched their life as a couple thanks to confession. Others, on the contrary, said they had experienced disapproval from their partner, felt regret, and even had it as a cause for the breakup of the relationship.

The research areas opened by this study converge on topics such as gender violence, sexual abuse and social taboos regarding sexuality. They also tell us about a world that little by little is daring to also talk about sexuality, to also enrich this part of intimacy with words.

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