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6 practical examples of respectful parenting to apply with your children

If you already know respectful parenting, but don’t know how to put it into practice with your children, the following illustrative examples will help you achieve it.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

The conception of childhood at a social level and the way children are treated in homes and schools has been transformed in recent times. More and more parents choose conscious educational styles, which seek to protect children’s rights, enhance children’s development and ensure their happiness. However, landing these concepts and theories in everyday life is not always easy. For this reason, we want to show you some practical examples of respectful parenting.

If you are reading these lines, you are probably a parent committed to the well-being of your children. However, despite this, In many everyday moments you may not know how to react.lose your temper and end up acting like you always swore you wouldn’t.

Calm down, no one is born knowing how to raise a child, it is a constant learning process. Still, we hope the following practical examples of respectful parenting bring some clarity to your path.

What is respectful parenting?

First of all, it is worth knowing what we mean when we talk about respectful parenting. This is an educational style that promotes unconditional love, empathy, understanding and respect as bases of the exercise of parenthood. The child is the center of education and is conceived as a full individual, to whom we address from a position of equality and with a democratic style.

The principles of respectful parenting are based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory. According to it, Caregivers must be sensitive to children’s needs and respond to them consistently in order to establish a solid emotional bond with the infant.

Thus, it is essential that children have a voice and an opinion that are heard, that their feelings are validated and understood and that they receive the same respect and importance as the rest of the family members.

Practical examples of respectful parenting

To apply respectful parenting, Parents must integrate these principles and turn them into a lifestyle. It is not specifically about how they act but about the vision they have towards their children. However, observing some examples can help strengthen this educational style.

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1. Validate emotions

This is a fundamental step that we often skip due to the rush of adult life. We feel that, with so much to do, we have no time for “contemplations”; However, children’s emotions matter.

For example, if you have to leave the park to run errands and your child resists, take a moment to listen to how they feel, validate them, and let them know you understand..

“I know that you want to continue playing and that having to leave makes you sad, right?; I understand, I don’t like things to end when I’m having a good time either. But we have to go to the supermarket. How about we play your favorite song on the way in the car?”

This won’t make your child’s anger or frustration go away (in fact, if he cries or remains angry for a while, allow him to express it); however, yes It will let you know that your feelings are seen and taken into account..

2. Inform what is going to happen

It is important for children to know what is coming at all times, as this allows them to prepare and adapt to the situation. So, try to notify them in advance of events.

For example, if your child doesn’t like fish, you can create a visual calendar that allows them to know what day of the week they should eat it. Also, you can remind them a little beforehand in a positive tone: “Tonight we had fish for dinner, remember? Would you like to help me prepare it?”

3. Involve in decision making

If you want your little one to comply with some measure, there is nothing more effective than involving him in the decision-making process. For example, if you want to start assigning responsibilities at home, you can have a family meeting and write down on a whiteboard what the tasks of each one are.

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You can all state what you would like to do more and less, who you think would perform each task better; and thus, among all, accept an agreement. By having participated in the decision (instead of receiving an imposition) will be more involved in compliance.

4. Give freedom to choose

Respectful parenting prioritizes consideration of the child’s opinions, reinforcement of their autonomy and active participation in the decisions made on a daily basis. So, instead of trying to impose yourself and obtain obedience, presents several options and “puts the ball in your court”.

For example, if your child doesn’t want to put on his pajamas at bedtime, you can ask him the following: “It’s time to go to bed. “You can play with your toys for five more minutes or we can go put on your pajamas and read a story in bed before going to sleep.”

At all times you assume that the child will go to bed, but you allow him to choose how to make this transition. By having choice and opinion, By feeling that it is your choice, it will be much easier for you to fulfill it.

5. Educate positively

Saying “no” is necessary at certain specific moments to avoid imminent dangers; For example, if the child runs down the street and is going to cross a road. But in many other moments is it possible to redirect the behavior without using this word. Proposing positive alternatives is much more fruitful.

Thus, instead of saying: “don’t shout”, “don’t walk barefoot” or “don’t watch television so closely” it can be rephrased as: “speak softer”, “put on your sneakers” or “move a little away from the screen”. , please”. This little nuance avoids the need to rebel and generates a more pleasant climate.

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6. Allow them to reach their own conclusions

When a minor does something wrong, the parents’ first impulse is to correct them by criticizing their way of acting and imposing the correct way to do it. However, if we allow the child to reach the conclusion on his or her own, the interaction will be much more positive and effective.

For example, instead of saying: “You have everything in the middle, pick up your toys,” you can ask: “With so many things on the carpet we can’t play comfortably, what do you think we could do?” Or, in another case, if he has hit his brother, we can help him reflect: “How do you think your little brother has been feeling? What can we do to make him feel better?”

Respectful parenting seeks to raise healthy and happy human beings

In short, these practical examples of respectful parenting seek to accompany, motivate and encourage rather than impose. It uses humor, play and understanding instead of shouting and criticism and, above all, it places children’s needs on the same level as adult needs. Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that The goal is not to create obedient and helpful children, but to raise healthy and happy human beings.

Yes, it is true that At first it requires a higher investment of time, patience and perseverance. from parents than other punitive and authoritarian parenting styles. However, it is an effort that reports magnificent results, since we are educating in the broadest sense of the word, helping to integrate values ​​and build solid self-esteem. As a consequence, our children will grow up with better emotional regulation and a greater willingness to cooperate.

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