6 characteristics of people with double lives

Having a double life is not something that only happens in spy or superhero movies. Although it is not usually the most common, in our daily lives we can meet people who have a double life, a second family or another relationship, without anyone being aware of this secret identity.

The reasons why this phenomenon occurs are numerous and vary from person to person. However, there are some commonalities that seem to characterize people who choose to have parallel lives. Let’s discover them in this article.

Infidelity and double life

Although it has been questioned whether fidelity is something natural or not in relationships in human beings, the truth is that Being faithful is a decision that is made every day. It is a choice that is sustained with effort and commitment.

While it is true that maintaining a long-term commitment can be challenging for some people, It would be desirable to talk to your partner instead of establishing a parallel and secret relationship.

It is normal for us to feel that sometimes our life purposes are no longer aligned with the direction of our relationship, but in these cases it is better to end the emotional bond or negotiate new goals together, rather than hurting the other with our lies and deceptions.

Infidelity maintained over time implies that the person leads a double life.

What are people with double lives like?

Still, we know that there are people who decide to do it. Are there any personality traits that characterize unfaithful people?What motivates someone to seek novelty outside the relationship? What encourages people who do so to lead and maintain a double life? What consequences does this behavior have, both for unfaithful people and for their partners?

Below we are going to describe some characteristics that usually distinguish those who lead a double life.

1. They tend to be emotionally immature

First of all, People capable of establishing parallel relationships are characterized by their emotional immaturity. We are talking about people with serious emotional shortcomings and emotional difficulties in establishing healthy, respectful, committed and stable relationships.

On the other hand, Their immaturity makes them also manipulative people, capable of faking feelings and emotions that they are not experiencing. Likewise, they tend to be charming, generate good impressions and show affection that they do not really feel towards others.

Finally, They are people who do not have a true emotional availability, so it is difficult for them to maintain their long-term commitments. They are also not emotionally responsible, so they do not feel genuine concern for the emotional well-being of their partners.

2. They are insecure and have low self-esteem

Besides, It is also possible that these behaviors reveal insecurity and low self-esteem. Consequently, those who live a double life try to compensate for this lack of self-confidence with controlling and manipulative behaviors over several people, particularly their partners.

That is, they need to constantly affirm themselves through the love and attention they receive from others.

3. They manifest communication problems

In third place, These types of people usually have major communication problems. They do not clearly express their emotions and desires, on many occasions they prefer to avoid conflicts and try to satisfy their emotional needs outside of the relationship, instead of talking with their partner to reach agreements and negotiations.

In many cases they even do not know what those needs are, They do not know what they are looking for and that is why they cannot stabilize themselves with a single person.

4. They have unrealistic expectations in the relationship

Another characteristic of those who choose to have parallel lives is the building unrealistic expectations and, in general, too high about their relationships.

They fail to see their partner as the flesh and blood person they really are. and, instead, they build an idealized version tailored to them. This causes them to feel disappointed if their partner does not meet their expectations. For the same reason, when the couple makes a mistake, they evaluate it in an extremely negative way, there are no nuances.

In addition to this, They always seem to be missing something in the relationship, they never feel truly satisfied, so they tend to blame the other person for their own shortcomings.

5. They usually lie and pay attention to details

When we decide to start an alternate relationship we may have to tell a lie, and then another, and another, and so on until there seems to be no way back.

Consequently, To maintain a double life these people become meticulous and careful in the information they provide when they are questioned about their activities or hobbies. They do not delve into details to avoid falling into contradictions. They are intelligent people who use their intellect to be convincing.

6. They tend to avoid

A characteristic that is obvious is their tendency towards avoidance and difficulty in taking responsibility for their actions. Breaking out of the spiral of lies that comes with living a double life would require the courage to tell the truth and face the consequences. Nevertheless, They prefer to keep it secret and not risk confrontation or abandonment.

People who have a double life do not usually take responsibility for their actions, to avoid the consequences.

A double life always has consequences

Finally, it is important to note that The partner or partners of those who choose to have alternative relationships also experience strong psychological consequences. In general, they tend to suffer problems in their way of establishing ties and in their ability to build new relationships based on trust and commitment.

Of course, self-esteem and identity as part of a relationship can also be seriously damaged. It is common for feelings of guilt and self-recrimination to emerge. and that they even require professional help to cope with the consequences of having been part of a story that they did not know about.

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