5 traits associated with childhood trauma

Childhood is a decisive and transcendent stage in the life of a human being. The physical and psychological impressions received during this stage leave traces lasting in the brain. That is why childhood traumas completely permeate the personality and their influence lasts over time.

This does not mean that they cannot be overcome, or in the worst case that they cannot be overcome to a reasonable extent. That someone has lived a difficult childhood It doesn’t mean you can’t lead a full life.. However, this usually requires therapeutic processes or deep personal elaboration.

There are some features that denote the presence of unresolved childhood traumas. If you had a difficult childhood, it is worth checking if any of those characteristics are present in your way of being. They are great indicators to realize that it is time to do something for yourself.

“Trauma is not caused by death, but by life. One can die without knowing it. Birth involves the trauma of understanding”.

-Richard Matheson-

1. Inhibition, a trait associated with childhood trauma

The inhibition It is the withdrawal of personality. It is making emotions and feelings invisible. It is even staying in a remote corner of one’s own life. This is the case of people who refrain from saying what they think or doing what they want. They are afraid to do it or they simply can’t think of anything.

Childhood traumas make someone feel inhibited from asserting themselves in different situations.What there is, however, is hermeticism. Isolation. Great difficulty relating to others and fear of others.

There are people who are introverted and therefore, they are not always very adept at social situations. However, they have no problem saying out loud what they think or feel. They act with autonomy.

Instead, When there are childhood traumas that have not been overcome, the person wants to go unnoticed, not to attract attention.. What’s more, studies such as the one carried out by William E. Copeland, from Duke University, show us that this is one of the most characteristic features.

2. Irascibility, bad mood, frustration

In people who have not overcome their childhood traumas, an accumulation of anger is usually perceived.. They are not necessarily violent people. What they tend to be is that they have little tolerance for frustration and are prone to reacting aggressively. It seems as if they are always on the verge of exploding, even if they don’t.

His irascibility is also often noted in his lack of patience for certain things. Soon they get tired, lose interest, get angry. This is perceived, for example, at the work or academic level. It is very difficult for them to form work teams.

3. Personal undervaluation

People who have not overcome their childhood traumas also often have problems valuing themselves. Either they feel very below others or they feel very superior. The latter is only in appearance. A mechanism to compensate for the poor opinion they have of themselves.

That is why it is common for them to reject the praise of others. They believe they are never good enough. That’s why they never stop trusting in emotional reinforcements, in words of admiration. It seems to them that it is a deception or a mockery. They can’t understand how someone has a good opinion of them, when they hate themselves.

4. Apologize constantly

Someone with childhood trauma feels that everything they say or do can upset others. That’s why he apologizes frequently. He apologizes for things he shouldn’t apologize for. He apologizes when he goes to speak, as if he has no right to do so. Or when you are going to enter or leave a place, etc.

In these types of actions you can see the traces of a restrictive, perhaps humiliating, upbringing. and with few expressions of affection. Such people feel as if they have to apologize for any action that gives them presence in the world. That is precisely one of the great effects of unresolved childhood traumas.

5. Flee from conflict or live in it

Traumatic childhoods usually develop in a highly conflictive family. A context in which disagreements and attacks were the norm. Any word or action could trigger problems, recriminations and even humiliation. That’s why the person may grow up afraid or fixated on conflict.

Those who fear conflict will flee from it in any circumstance. Even They are capable of overriding their own convictions in order to avoid a contradiction. Those who become attached to conflict turn everything into a problem. They remain tied to the repetition of the behaviors they learned as children.

Childhood traumas are not resolved just because, or at least they rarely are. It is necessary to work with them so that they do not end up invading the personality, completely vetoing growth, the ability to be happy. Today, neuroscientists know much better about the mechanisms of trauma and this is undoubtedly an advance on a therapeutic level.

Thus, strategies based on emotional health, self-esteem and These approaches based on the psychoneurology of trauma give good results.

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