5 negative thoughts that affect your self-esteem and how to change them

During childhood, children’s brains grow and mature, adapting to the environment in which they live. The learning that is reinforced in these early years, have a great weight in the development of personality and the opinion that the child develops about himself (self-concept). Many of the negative thoughts that people conceive about themselves appear precisely at this early stage of their lives.

Why change negative thoughts

Over the years, if these negative thoughts have been dragged into adulthood, they will continue to condition the lives of people manifesting, among other symptoms, through a low self-esteem.

These negative ideas about themselves were not necessarily born from phrases said by parents or labels imposed on children. Many times, these concepts were created by the children themselves based on their experiences or in their erroneous interpretations (due to their young age and lack of emotional tools) of the situations experienced.

These interpretations may not correspond to reality, but they assumed them as true and ended up becoming their way of perceiving themselves in the world.

For example, when his parents separated, a child could feel responsible and think that they were arguing because of him. If no one explained to you what was really happening and it was not made clear that these problems were only for adultsthe idea of ​​his guilt took root in his mind and dragged her into her adulthood.

In this article, we will see five common examples of these types of negative thoughts, originating in childhood, which affect adult self-esteem. And, as we always do in this blog, we will look for other healthier ideas to replace them with.

1. I’m worthless

If a child grows up not feeling valued, if they don’t pay attention to them, if they try in every possible way to make their parents happy, but they never listen to them, the message they internalize is that their efforts and actions are worthless. value and that he is not a worthy or valuable person.

Switch for: “I am a valid and valuable person.”

2. I don’t deserve to be loved

This frequently happens to people to whom their parents did not show their affection and love. If no one ever told these little ones that they were loved, if they were not comforted in their moments of emotional stress, if they always felt alone, They grew up with an emptiness inside that told them that they did not deserve to be loved by anyone.

Switch for: “I love myself. I deserve all the love and affection in the world.”

3. There is something wrong with me (and that’s why they reject me)

If the parents (or relatives) show an obvious preference for one of the siblings, the other child always feels undervalued. Over time, He begins to think that everything he does is bad. and/or that there was something wrong with his personality.

Switch for: “There’s nothing wrong with me, I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone.”

4. I won’t make it, no matter how hard I try

When siblings (or cousins) are compared and forced to compete for everything, there is always one older or stronger one who achieves all the objectives before the others. The message that the little ones internalize is that, No matter how hard they try, they will never achieve anything.

Switch for: “I focus on myself and value every achievement I achieve.”

5. I deserve everything bad that happens to me

Continuously hearing phrases like “I already told you” or “you don’t listen to me”, every time the boy or girl suffers an accident or mishap, causes the little ones to grow up with a catastrophic feeling of guilt and uselessness.

Switch for: “I deserve everything good that happens to me.”