5 books to understand and apply nonviolent communication with children

Communication without hierarchy, classification or labels that determine the “place” of each person, with empathy and values: this is the basic proposal of non-violent communication, a process developed by psychologist Marshall Bertram Rosenberg with the help of an international team of experts.

Through nonviolent communication, feelings are separated from opinions, remarks are made without judgment, requests are made without threats. No fear, shame, accusations: the idea is that people relate to each other and achieve their interpersonal goals with sincerity, with the expression of feelings and non-judgment by those who listen to them.

“When the principles of non-violent communication are applied in raising children, we have children who are more confident in saying what they feel and what they want, who express themselves better and even develop a good vocabulary, because they are not afraid of making mistakes when saying something. thing. A bond of friendship is established between mothers, fathers and children. Everyone wins”, says psychologist Janice Alvez, facilitator of non-violent communication.

Below, with the help of the specialist, we indicate five books that help to better understand what non-violent communication is and to apply it in everyday life.

“Nonviolent Communication” – Marshall Rosenberg

It is the starting point to start studying non-violent communication. The methodology is presented and exemplified in applications of relationships as a whole (not only of mothers and/or fathers and children, but also of co-workers, friends and family). There are stories told by the psychologist related to the subject and exercises so that the concepts are internalized.

“Compassionate Parenting” – Marshall Rosenberg

Here, Marshall focuses on non-violent communication aimed at educating children themselves, suggesting action strategies for mothers, fathers, caregivers, teachers and everyone who deals with the little ones. Empathetic connection, respectful dynamics, sincere communication are the concepts that permeate the book’s message. The idea is that adults serve as supports for children to express themselves clearly, resolve their internal and external conflicts and maintain the connection with the values ​​that are passed on to them.

“Don’t Be Nice, Be Real” – Kelly Bryson

Kelly Bryson was part of the first generation of nonviolent communication development, alongside Marshall Rosenberg, and here is her personal approach to the method. It’s a looser, fun text, telling stories. Great for those who like to read and imagine exchanging an idea with the person who wrote it.

“The Surprising Purpose of Anger” – Marshall Rosenberg

This book is only available in English and is well worth reading! This is an interview with Marshall, in a question and answer format, in which he talks about the importance of anger. Yes, he argues that anger is important and that we, as adults, should welcome and deal with this feeling in children, transforming it into something positive.

“Becoming a Person” – Carl Rogers

Carl Rogers’ work is the root of nonviolent communication. This book, published in 1956, is one of the essential works of humanistic psychology and talks about the person as the center of care. The pillars for this are congruence, empathetic communication, and unconditional positive regard.