Have you ever pursued a guy you’re interested in?
Surely your answer is no, when the reality is the opposite and you don’t even have any idea that you are doing it.
It sure sounds crazy to you. How are you going to chase someone without knowing it?
But the truth is that many times our attitude is much more revealing than we think and small actions that we consider harmless reveal when a boy interests you.
It’s normal that when you like a person you want to get their attention, but you can’t be obvious about it. Nobody necessarily likes what’s on sale.
As much as you want to show him that you’re available and willing to go out, you’re not doing yourself any favors by showing it.
It can be frustrating having to wait for him to act, and the idea of playing hard to get may even seem cliché, but there’s a reason it works.
To help you, we leave you a list of things you should NOT do and those you CAN do to make him come to you without feeling pressure.
Also read our guide on the 15 most common relationship problems and how to solve them
1. Don’t call him unless he did it first
In a guy’s mind, when a woman calls him or texts him to hear from him it’s because she feels something special.
If you initiate contact with text messages or a call because you saw something that reminded you of him or because you want to know how he is, he will probably immediately notice that you like him, he will feel that you are available and then he will gradually lose interest because It seems easy to him.
Be interesting! Ignore him for a bit, go on with your life and let him be the one who has to call you to talk.
Also read our guide on the 13 messages that all boys like to receive
2. Don’t Ask Him Out
We know that you feel an interest in him and that you would like to be able to share more time, even go out together on the weekend. That is normal. But if you are the one who approaches him, invites him, makes the plan and decides where to go, it will be obvious that you are too interested in going out with him.
Again, that makes you look available and easy. If you are not a challenge, you will lose their attention. And if you also constantly ask him to confirm his plans and insist on seeing each other, it will make the situation worse.
Also read our guide on the 10 things a woman should do on her first date
3. Don’t ask him how he feels or show interest in him
It may seem polite and simple, but asking someone how they feel is the most basic and noticeable way to show interest.
It’s not about making him think that you don’t care, but he also shouldn’t feel that he is special over others. In this, men are very basic and they like what they cannot have, if you appear indifferent or unaffected by his presence, he will surely feel attracted to you.
4. Accelerate the relationship you have
Honestly assume the level of trust that exists between the two of you. If they are already friends, if they are acquaintances, if they really have a strong relationship that justifies there being true closeness.
If you are just getting to know him, if he is a fellow student or a co-worker, you should try to maintain a relatively distant relationship. It is not logical that you approach telling your deepest feelings and secrets to a person who does not know you that well.
There is also no point in making grand gestures, such as celebrating that boy’s birthday and making him a surprise, if there is no true close friendship between you. If he wouldn’t do it for you, don’t do it for him.
Many times, even if you have good intentions, these actions only expose how you feel about that boy and make you seem desperate and in need of his affection. That’s the quickest way to make them flee from your side.
What you can do from now on
Now that you have identified what harms your image with that boy you are attracted to, we will tell you the things that can help you win him over and get his attention without him feeling like you are chasing him.
1. Change your energy
If you are a secure woman, you feel beautiful and confident, he will inevitably be attracted to you. If you show that you are worthy and loved for that, you will project that confidence and make others admire those same things in you.
Surely he will notice that positive and self-confident attitude, he will think that others have also noticed it and he will feel the impulse to compete for your attention.
2. Let him tell you his problems
Let him take his time to trust you. When he does, be a good listener and allow him to share his emotions, feelings, frustrations, and problems with you.
Don’t judge him, listen to him, try to understand him and give him advice to feel better. This will help you create an intimate bond of trust and mutual respect, which are the basis of any solid relationship. He will notice that he can count on you and that will surely make him feel attracted.
Also read our guide on the 7 tips on how to have more self-confidence and security in your life
3. Use appropriate body language
Your self-esteem is evident in your gestures and body communication.
Walk with your head held high, back straight, always show a smile and accompany your body language with positive oral expressions, which indicate to everyone that you are happy for yourself, because your happiness is not subject to the company of anyone else.
4. Take care of your personal appearance
Your image is one of the most basic ways to show if you value yourself. It is thanks to your appearance that those who observe you discover if you are neat, organized, untidy, if you take time for yourself and if you take your look seriously.
Being a fashion disaster and careless with your personal hygiene is not attractive! If you value yourself, you must take care of yourself and show an image that represents you fairly to others.
5. Show only friendship intentions
To get to someone’s heart, you must first get into their mind. Having good conversations, sharing a coffee from time to time, are gestures that will help you start a friendship with him.
Those first occasions will form a bond between the two, giving them intimacy and time to get to know each other and see if they are really compatible. If you respect those moments and show your friendship instead of imposing yourself as a potential partner, you will surely be more attractive.
Remember that men want what they can’t have. If upon meeting you he notices what a good girl you are, but feels that you are only looking for a friend, he will surely be curious to look for you and conquer you to be something more. Just let the friendship flow!
In conclusion
It’s uncomfortable to not be determined by the man you like, but allowing him to find out how interested you are in him, or begging him, is almost the same as suffocating him!
Frankly, you wouldn’t want the most urgent type of love at your job to constantly supervise you, bring you your coffee, write to you every half hour, or sit at your table at mealtime. Or if?
It’s instinctive to walk away from someone who inspires vulnerability in us, so you can’t blame them for not being attracted if you pursue them. I know it may sound difficult, but you must be patient, give him space and time to get closer to you.
And if he doesn’t, then he misses out on the opportunity to be with a girl like you, who is happy without needing anyone else.
Do you have any “chaser” friends? Share this article on your social networks to help her overcome those harassing attitudes and change them for a much more efficient strategy.
Remember that you can also tell us your experiences and leave us your questions in the comments box. We will be attentive to read you.
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