4 effective strategies to manage your partner’s bad mood

When we bond emotionally with another person, we are taking on a challenge, and that is that from this relationship we not only obtain affection, validation and support, we inevitably also assume in some way the risk that your feelings, actions or words will harm us. If it is a friend or family member who is not going through their best moment, we are generally able to accompany and listen without being carried away by their emotions, but managing a partner’s bad mood is not so simple.

When our partner appears irritated, angry or touchy, intense and uncontrollable reactions are awakened in us. After all, she is the person we spend most of our time with and The great emotional closeness that exists between the two can lead us to not be able to keep a clear mind. Therefore, we want to show you some strategies that will help you deal with these moments in the best way.

How does your partner’s bad mood affect you?

Maybe you’ve never stopped to think about it, but your partner’s mood probably has a great influence on yours. Each person’s reaction to these circumstances depends on the personal baggage that accompanies us, but it is common for the following to occur.

Humor is contagious

Moods are contagious and Human beings tend to blend in with emotions. that float in the environment. Sharing time with a frustrated, angry or apathetic person will surely lead us to experience the same feelings.

Thus, it does not matter how good your day was or how much enthusiasm or energy you had before meeting your partner, because presence totally transforms these states. And this not only affects your well-being, but It usually leads to conflicts and arguments between couples. which only make the situation worse.

Creates great discomfort

This is another of the most frequent realities that we are not always aware of, and the fact is that most of us cannot stand looking at someone’s bad mood. This causes us great discomfort, We do not know how to react and we only feel a strong desire for that emotional state to change to a positive one.; not only because we seek the good of the other, but rather to get rid of that annoying feeling that it transmits to us.

This is not a matter of selfishness, it is a very natural reaction because normally No one has taught us how to deal with sadness or anger and accept it.

You feel responsible

Although there is no logical or rational basis for this, many people cannot help but feel responsible for their partner’s bad mood. It doesn’t matter if we know the reason for their anger and it has nothing to do with us; He doesn’t care how many times he tells us that we have nothing to do with it. Somehow, we end up taking the hint, believing ourselves to be the cause of their irritability or at least guilty of not being able to fix it.

How to handle your partner’s bad mood?

Just because the above reactions are the most common doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it. In fact, We can work to be a better support for each other, while protecting and we take care of our own emotions. To do this, we encourage you to put the following guidelines into practice.

1. Take the reins

It is essential to become aware that your emotional states cannot depend on another person, because then they are no longer yours.

It is very easy for the anger of others to end up flooding our emotional state, but you have to give yourself space to reflect and rationalize. What’s wrong with me? Do I really have a reason to feel irritated or touchy or am I simply mimicking the other person?

When you detect this pattern, try to stop it and replace it. Monitor and pay attention to your automatic thoughts, your internal dialoguebecause it is this interpretation that will lead you to feel one way or another.

If you think “I’m not to blame for what happens to him, he shouldn’t talk to me like that or have that face while we have dinner” your anger will inevitably escalate. On the other hand, if you reflect, “It’s understandable that I’m touchy, this isn’t something personal against me,” you’ll be better able to maintain your center.

2. Validate your partner’s emotions

At this point we must do an empathy exercise and think about what the other person needs and not in what we need. Our main impulse will be, as we have already said, to try to eliminate that bad mood; and to do this, we will try to offer solutions, minimize the problem or change the subject. But, in reality, this only aggravates the situation and makes the couple feel misunderstood, since all it requires is compassionate listening.

Try to resist your temptation to fix his life or tell him how he should have acted. and instead, just listen, connect and be a safe space where the other can express themselves freely without fear of being judged or interrupted.

3. Practice ecpathy

Ecpathy is a complementary concept to empathy that is essential to avoid being inundated by other people’s emotions. If we want to be helpful and, at the same time, not end up harmed by the mood of the other, we have to learn to take a certain distance. This does not mean abandoning the other person or leaving them alone with their problems, but it does mean prioritizing our mental health and not letting ourselves get carried away.

To do this, listen to your partner, but keep in mind that there may be other points of view and other interpretations of their story. Try to stay relaxed and neutral and remember that it is not your job to regulate other people’s emotions or resolve their situations.

This is simple to say, but difficult to practice. Especially if you are a very empathetic person, this may require some conscientious work on your part. Maintaining a deep, full breath can help you, as well as look for small moments and spaces of solitude to regulate yourself after interacting with the other.

4. Seek professional help

Most people only have to deal with their partner’s bad mood in sporadic moments; (even so, it is advisable to implement the previous strategies to avoid reproaches, conflicts and major discomfort). However, others face this reality almost daily.

Anger and frustration can settle into a person’s life relatively easily if they have not learned to regulate their emotions. Besides, Sometimes this apparent anger can hide depression.. In these cases, seeking professional help is essential.

Perhaps your partner has not realized that his bad mood has become almost a constant. An honest and assertive conversation can help you become aware, motivating the decision to seek help. However, he or she may also outright deny and downplay his or her irritability. Yes that’s how it is, maybe you should seek professional guidance in order to know how to deal with that hostile emotional environment.

However, in some cases it is possible that the healthiest option for you and to preserve your well-being is to distance yourself from this person and end the relationship. Of course, the members of a couple have to listen to each other, support and accompany each other, but if the condition of one of them begins to affect the mental health of the other and they do not want to take action, it is important that you protect yourself.

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