Anxiety and low self-esteem: are they related?

Anxiety and low self-esteem have a relationship that directly affects other dimensions, such as our state of mind or the projects we embark on. Thus, a common occurrence is to limit ourselves to using certain techniques to manage stress and anxiety disorders, overlooking a very specific trigger. Behind that anguish, behind that restlessness and adverse symptomatology, lives a mind accustomed to sabotaging itself.

The cognitive psychotherapist Albert Ellis pointed out very correctly that one of the most common causes of anxiety is self-demand. The anxious mind is always afraid of not arriving, of failing, of showing fallibility or imperfection. Now, in this process in which so many anxieties accumulate due to not complying, It is easy to gradually drift into the idea that if we do not achieve certain goals it is because we cannot or do not deserve them.

Behind anxiety is in many cases helplessness. This is something to keep in mind, because when the vision we have of ourselves becomes fractured, fears, insecurities and the inability to manage one’s own life enter through these veins.

Anxiety and low self-esteem, the causes that explain this relationship

It would be enough to do a small survey to discover how many people who deal with an anxiety disorder also do so with the weight of low self-esteem.. If we could immerse ourselves in the rumor of his thoughts and the internal dialogue that flows in his minds, we would also discover several things.

The first would be the excess of sentences that begin in the same way ‘I can’t control my anxiety’, ‘I don’t have the skills to cope with this’, ‘I better avoid doing this because it’s not worth it and it’s sure to go wrong’, ‘I don’t like my physique, I don’t like that other thing about me’ , etc. The second striking aspect that we would find would be the following. Many people end up using anxiety as a shield to avoid dealing with the original problem: low self-esteem.

Thus, it is common for them to make comments or reasoning such as the following: I am not going to show up for that job interview because the anxiety is not going to leave me. I don’t stay with that person I like because in the end my anxiety will ruin everything. In these cases, They are not aware that the original root of their own anxiety and these thoughts is insecurity and low self-esteem.

Let’s see below more explanations that justify the relationship between anxiety and low self-esteem.

The eternal fear of rejection

An enhancer of good self-esteem is undoubtedly having had an adequate upbringing. Enjoying a positive attachment with parents, feeling safe and loved is an essential nutrient. All of this undoubtedly generates also having a positive vision of oneself and, in this way, we build a strong and healthy identity and self-concept.

Now, when this fails, almost everything ends up falling apart. Having had a difficult childhood and even having suffered bullying often causes that eternal fear of rejection. That anguish, The fear of being rejected again at any time (whether emotionally, at work, etc.) ends up shaping subsequent anxiety disorders.

The relationship between low self-esteem and perfectionism

An interesting study was carried out at Curtin University in Australia. In it, Dr. Sarah Egan demonstrated that There is a significant relationship between perfectionism, anxiety and low self-esteem. What’s more, this link is often seen a lot in eating disorders.

Anxiety and low self-esteem are often reflected in our need to show effectiveness and perfection in everything we do. However, soon doubts and insecurity appear, as well as that self-boycott of those who question themselves and what they have done with great effort. All of these situations lead to frustration and anxiety.

The mind that only focuses on the negative side of things

The mind is often captive to that cognitive and emotional focus through which light, courage or optimism rarely enter. It is that tunnel vision where there is no perspective other than fatalism or failure. Behind this personal vision lies the seed of low self-esteem, a germ that cohabits in us for years and that little by little builds the prison of anxiety.

It is not easy to emerge from these psychological states. Often, anxiety and low self-esteem create a permanent alloy where it is very difficult to free the person.. When such deep mental patterns have been created, it is not easy to break that mold to show those who suffer that it is in their power to generate a change, to improve their well-being.

However, such a craft can be done. And the way to start that improvement is by working on self-appreciation. When we improve the vision we have of ourselves, progress is created.. The moment one bets on oneself again, adding to daily life ingredients such as trust, security, enthusiasm and a vital purpose, fears begin to fall and with them, the structure of anxiety.

We all have the capacity and potential to invest in that process. Self-esteem is, after all, that muscle that moves everything and that gives movement and light to life.

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