38 short and funny phrases to make your day more fun

Your opinion for me is like a YouTube ad: I ignore it in 5 seconds.

Life is full of challenges. So if the first plan didn’t work, try the second, third, fourth, fifth, and as many more as needed.

It’s no use spending your life looking for your half of the orange if you’re a sour lemon.

Learn one thing: the world doesn’t revolve around you. Only when you drink too much.

I’ve seen a lot of eternal love end in a few seconds.

They say that what goes around comes around. I think my money got lost along the way.

They said it was astral hell but my life has been bad for a few months now.

The best happy ending there is is the weekend.

Over time I learned the meaning of love for others. Do not love me? Next!

If to err is human, getting it right must be something extraterrestrial.

Love is really blind, because it doesn’t see me at all.

God helps those who win the lottery early.

Don’t throw me indirections. Throw me money.

If life were easy, babies wouldn’t be born crying.

Looking for a funny relationship, because seriously I’m giving up!

Tell me who you hang out with and I’ll tell you if I go along or not.

After the storm comes the flu.

Everything in life passes, except the desire to make money sleeping.

You hunt a million fireflies for the person, and they don’t hunt a mosquito for you.

If life is too bitter, give it a whirl. Sometimes the sugar is at the bottom.

I dropped the beer, I just can’t remember where!

If you’re bored, do the dishes, and if you’re not, do it anyway. Signed, Mother.

Your message has been successfully received, viewed and ignored.

I can’t even find the end of the tape, imagine the love of my life.

There were rumors that I was in the worst… You can confirm the rumors!

The world goes round. That explains so many silly people!

I loved the hint you sent me. I’ll even enjoy it to annoy you more.

I just don’t date you because I don’t know if you could handle so much happiness in your life.

I don’t wake up in a bad mood. I just wake up being lazy to be nice.

I don’t make sense because I already drink wine and I don’t mix.

“Life is all about choices”. Funny, I chose to be rich and so far nothing!

I only leave the house with my clothes wrinkled, because life goes by and we don’t even see it.

You know that ice you gave me? I made an igloo.

The best month of the year is the one called vacation!

What would humanity be if there was no print?

Before defining my abs, I have to define my life.

Marital Status: Enjoying a solo career with cameos.

Many things are resolved with kindness, others with cafuné and some just with chocolate cake.