3 keys to staying calm in an argument

When we argue with someone, One of our first reactions is usually to get angry and let our emotions take control. Pride invades us and little by little, we stop thinking clearly and we may even end up saying something that we will regret later.

Although the consequences derived from arguing with the other person are not serious, getting angry is usually very unpleasant. Thus, A fundamental skill that we should all master is to remain calm while arguing. Now, how to do it?

In this article we will explain the most important keys to getting out of these types of situations successfully. This way, both your relationships with others and your own well-being will improve considerably.

How to stay calm in an argument

Have you ever tried to stop an argument when emotions were running high? If so, you will have verified that It is practically impossible to establish calm when our emotions are altered.

This occurs because the oldest areas of the brain, that is, those related to emotions, such as the limbic system, are stronger and more dominant than the areas responsible for rational thought. Thus, Trying to calm anger by thinking logically is like trying to put out a fire by blowing.

Instead, the next time you want to stay calm in an argument, you can try the following strategies:

Know what makes you angry and avoid it. Stop your emotions before they get out of control. Try to understand the other person. Put yourself in their place.

1- Know what makes you angry

We all have one or two issues that drive us crazy no matter what we do to avoid it. It can be about politics, religion, ideologies or football, but the fact is that Some opinions make us angry almost automatically.

Therefore, the first line of defense in learning to stay calm in an argument is know what are the topics that fill us with anger, and avoid talking about them with people who have completely opposite opinions. After all, why do you need everyone to think like you? This irrational belief will only cause your relationship with the other person to deteriorate and make you feel terrible.

However, sometimes it is not possible to avoid an argument. In these cases, the rest of the keys will teach you what you can do to stay calm.

2- Stop your emotions before they get out of control

Emotions are more powerful than our rational brain. However, this is only true at the time when they have already gotten out of control. Therefore, If you want to be able to stay calm in an argument, the best thing you can do is learn to stop your emotions. when you notice that they are getting too strong.

To do this, the simplest thing is to practice some relaxation technique. Although it is true that you cannot start meditating in the middle of a discussion, you can do some simple exercises during a discussion. The easiest thing is to take deep breaths until you feel a sense of calm invade you. Of course, it is very important that you focus on them and not divert your attention.

3- Try to understand the other person

What to do once you have managed to control your emotions? The other person is still there and the problem surely has not been resolved. If you don’t do something to remedy it, Most likely, the situation will become entrenched or return to the same starting point and begin to grow again.

To avoid it, One of the best techniques is to empathize with the other person, put yourself in their place. and try to see what happened from their perspective. In general, arguments occur when two people are not able to understand each other and try to impose their vision on each other. If you instead try to understand the other person’s way of thinking, your anger will decrease in most cases.

Although it is a skill that requires practice, to start using it You just have to ask yourself what the other person’s point of view is about what happened, what their thinking is like and why they are behaving that way. Asking yourself these questions will allow you to become much more receptive and your negative emotions to disappear.

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