Criticism and criticizing

Criticizing something or someone means, from the outset, placing oneself in a position of superiority. Only those who have greater power, knowledge or criteria can evaluate and qualify. A critic does that all the time: judging others, pretending that their opinion is actually going to demean them.

From the critic to the critic there is an abyss. He who makes a serious criticism knows and is certified as an expert to make it. Evaluate both the negative and positive aspects of what you are analyzing. He is motivated by a desire for improvement and that is why he is devoid of anger when formulating the results of his evaluation.

Instead, What the critic wants is, simply, to disqualify to others with no other intention than to discredit them. Furthermore, according to the approach of Bernardo Stamateas in his book “Toxic People”, the habit of disqualifying can be considered contagious since people who have been systematically disqualified in their lives are the most likely to adopt this attitude with others.

“Criticism is the power of the powerless.”

-Alphonse de Lamartine-

Criticism and projection

Psychoanalysis established the existence of a defense mechanism called “projection.” It consists of an unconscious exercise, through which a person attributes to others their own virtues, defects and needs. It’s as if you look in the mirror and think that whoever is reflected there is someone else.

Projection manifests itself when, for example, we think that a person dislikes us.

In the case of For those who criticize, the projection is based on the fact that they have a negative opinion of themselves. And any hint of his own traits in others immediately unleashes criticism. Deep down, they want to prove that others are as bad as themselves. That no one is better.

Seeing the defects or mistakes of others with a magnifying glass gives them gratification; It is a way of avoiding one’s own defects and mistakes, hiding behind the prejudice that others are the same or worse.

As it was told, It is a defense mechanism that is unconscious. Defensive, because it allows one to preserve an idea of one’s own self. And unconscious, because it is not deliberate or calculated behavior. It is born spontaneously, although it is repeated incessantly.

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The effects of being critical

A critic is trapped in a very sad reality. His constant disqualification of others creates the idea of living in an unbearable world.. Although there is some satisfaction in exercising your criticism, it is a poor and too fleeting gratification. Most of the time they will experience deep dissatisfaction.

The critic has strong traits of paranoia and melancholy. It is more than likely that he grew up in an environment where he was judged unfairly.. Surely his flaws were constantly pointed out to him and he was made to think that he “didn’t do anything right,” that his value as a person was relative.

In a critic there is a subjugated and sad child who remains chained to an unhappy childhood.

Excessive criticism of others prevents good relationships, but above all it prevents trust, being spontaneous, and nurturing bonds of intimacy. That’s why the critic is also a great lonerwhich passes time between sadness and anger.

And although there are compelling reasons for the critic to be the way he is, The truth is that his behavior is harmful to others.. It generates heavy atmospheres and can hurt others with its words or actions.

It also promotes an unhealthy group environment that, sooner rather than later, leads to conflict. In reality, he needs help to reconcile with himself. And he must look for her.