17 lies from a married man to his lover

We all know that falling in love with a married man is dangerous territory to venture into.

If he can lie to his wife, he can lie to you just as easily.

That is why when you are in love with a married man, there are certain truths that you should listen to.

Next, we will name the 17 classic lies of a man who has married his lover. Some you may know, and others will surprise you.

What A Married Man Will Tell You And Why It’s Probably A Lie

1) I’m going to leave my wife

The mother of all lies, that married men will tell their lovers, is that they plan to leave their wives.

In fact, a survey on cheating behavior found that less than 20% of men think about breaking up because of the affair.

Even for those who consider it, thinking about quitting and actually doing it are two very different things.

For every unusual story you might hear about a man leaving his wife, there are plenty of other women waiting endlessly for a committed man.

A survey by Women’s Health found that only 13.7% of women who had an affair with a married man ended up being with him.

If you’ve had fantasies about him marrying you one day, then it’s an even bleaker possibility. Dr. Jan Halper, in her book on successful men, says it’s so rare, only 3% of men end up marrying their lovers.

2) I have never done this before

We all want to feel special, and when a man tells us that we are, it’s understandable that we fall in love quickly.

Statistics on cheating show that. About 50 to 60% of married men will have extramarital sex, at some point in their relationships.

But the thing is, most cheaters are repeat offenders.

Any wife who finds out that her husband is having an affair will probably wonder if he will do it again. And at the same time, the lovers are probably thinking the same thing.

Apparently, cheaters have a much higher chance of cheating again than someone who has never cheated.

This means that if he says that you are the first and you believe him, then there is still a high chance that you will not be the last.

3) It’s not about sex

There is no denying that people who commit adultery do so for all sorts of reasons.

But at the top of the list is unsatisfied sexual desire or needs.

Men are more likely to seek sex from an affair, unlike women, who are trying to fill an emotional void.

It is not always easy for a woman to know if they only want her for her body.

But if most of the time they meet, they just sleep together, then what they’re having is sex, not a relationship.

Read Also: Why does he hold me tight against him? the 10 reasons

It doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything for you, but it doesn’t mean they have a commitment either.

Ultimately, what you’re not doing as a couple is meeting their friends and family or going out in public together.

4) I no longer have relations with my wife

About 15% of marriages have almost no sex, that is, couples who have not had sex in the last 6 months to a year.

This means that the vast majority of married couples have sex, even if it is not often.

You’ll never know what’s going on behind your bedroom doors.

Do you really think he’s going to tell you if he had sex with his wife?

After all, how would you find out, and why would he risk angering or upsetting you by telling you the truth about it?

5) I can’t leave her for the children

Family life is complicated and having children is a very important factor.

You may be afraid of losing your children, or of the impact of separation and divorce on them.

But he could also be using it as an excuse not to leave.

In fact, there is evidence that divorce may be better for children in the long run if the parents are incompatible or argue a lot.

Despite short-term problems, the vast majority of children recover after one to two years.

Additionally, research has shown that parental infidelity can be detrimental to children.

Feelings of betrayal and the impact on their own attitudes towards love, relationships and trust are some of the consequences.

6) I no longer love my wife

Let’s face it, love can be complicated, it changes over time and goes through different stages.

So, it can be assumed that a married man at one time loved his wife. After all, he did walk down the hall with her.

Feelings of love do not disappear overnight.

Even if he himself is convinced that his feelings are over, countless men have realized what they have lost and have run back to their wives later.

He may say he doesn’t love her, but the reality is not that simple.

7) The marriage ended long before I met you

If it were true that the marriage ended long before they met, then why is he still with her?

Some men are cowards and look for an escape from their relationship, because they don’t have the courage to leave it for good.

Even if you’ve been in a dead-end marriage for many years, it’s worth asking yourself: what kind of man would stay in such a miserable relationship?

Although he could also be lying, telling you that the marriage was already failing, because he knows that sounds better.

Read Also: Karmic Love: 12 Signs to Know You're in a Karmic Relationship

Also, it makes him seem less guilty of the infidelity he is committing.

8) My marriage is unhappy

Feeling dissatisfied in your marriage is clearly a contributing factor to men cheating. But overall, it’s an oversimplification.

What does being unhappy encompass?

For example, is boredom a sufficient reason?

How about feeling unappreciated?

Because these are also reasons why people have affairs and they are also reasons to feel unhappy in a relationship.

But is it really a good reason?

Marriage takes work, and if both parties don’t bring their own, couples can end up breaking up.

The idea of a marriage being unhappy right now may be just one part of a much bigger picture.

It is perfectly possible to find happiness and satisfaction in your relationship again, if you are committed and willing to make the effort.

Telling you that he is unhappy in his marriage is a dodge, because he has a choice.

He can do something about his unhappiness or walk away.

However, it is not doing that either.

9) I didn’t mean to cheat, it just happened

You may not have planned it, but sleeping with someone is rarely a completely spontaneous event.

In reality, you have allowed or even created the conditions for your adventure to take place.

Saying that you didn’t mean for it to happen is a way of avoiding responsibility and blame.

That way, you can still feel like you’re a good person and sort of an innocent victim of Cupid’s arrow.

In reality, there is usually a much slower erosion of trust and intimacy in your marriage. Followed by a conscious crossing of the limits that led to the adventure.

He is not an innocent bystander. He made a decision.

Many other men may have had reasons or opportunities to be unfaithful, but they made a different decision.

10) I love you

If he tells you that he loves you, it is very likely that he does so with a lustful meaning.

This causes a rush of feel-good hormones to flood your body in the first rush of romance.

These early stages can be intoxicating.

According to Business Insider:

“Research shows a link between strong feelings of love and increased levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the brain. This tells us that the rewards are yet to come. The same chemical is released in response to other sources of pleasure as well. This explains the feeling of “euphoria” that new lovers often experience.”

Real love is not a fleeting feeling and requires much more than initial ecstasy.

Falling in love may be easy, but staying that way is not.

Lasting love is built on a firm foundation of trust, honesty, and commitment.

Read Also: What to do when a man wants to make you jealous with another woman?

These are things that he is not giving you, because he is in a relationship with someone else.

11) My wife is crazy

This lie can come in many subtly different forms, but at its core they are all the same.

You can say “my wife is crazy”, “my wife is a total bitch”, “my wife is completely unreasonable”, etc.

The theme is always, poor me, look what I have to deal with. He makes her the villain and justifies her behavior.

You should be careful with the man whose partner or ex is “crazy” because research has shown that opposites do not attract.

If she really is as bad as he suggests she is, why is he still with her?

Wait, let me guess: he has another excuse for that, right?

They may even make you believe that saving him from a terrible situation is some kind of noble cause.

12) I can’t afford to get divorced

It is true that breaking up has certain financial consequences, but it is still a very poor excuse.

Realistically, if he was that unhappy and wanted to be with you, this wouldn’t be a deal breaker.

A man who really wants out of his marriage would.

In fact, studies have found that divorce makes men, and fathers in particular, significantly wealthier.

In The Guardian newspaper, research showed that when a father separates from the mother of his children, his disposable income increases by around a third.

Whereas, when a man leaves a marriage without children, his income increases by 25%.

As family consultant Ruth Smallacombe explains:

“The general belief that men get cheated out of their divorces, while women get richer and live off the profits, has long been exposed as a pernicious myth. In reality, women often suffer financial hardship when they get divorced.”