13 Things You Should NOT Tolerate In A Relationship

You are in love…

And relationship is a wonderful place to be…or should be.

The problem with love is that it can sometimes blind us to the bad behavior of someone we care about.

It’s a common theme in movies, TV shows, and in real life.

“Why doesn’t she end this relationship for good? He is a horrible person!”

“He’s changed a lot since he started dating her. She’s such a toxic influence on him…”

And so on…

If you are in a toxic relationship, the first step you need to take is OPEN YOUR EYES to the possibility that your partner is not who you think they are.

Perhaps his influence in your life is hurting you and your other relationships as well.

Abuse comes in many forms: physical, emotional, psychological, moral, etc.

Read on and see the 13 things you should NOT tolerate in a relationship:

1. A partner who dictates all your dreams and goals

There is a big difference between giving you “life advice” and making you doubt your dreams.

You should be teammates and each other’s biggest supporters!

On the other hand, if your dreams and goals are unrealistic, your partner should find a way to lovingly guide you in the direction of pursuing something more realistic.

If you’re dating someone who’s always belittling your goals, GET OUT!

If your partner criticizes all of your dreams but expects you to support his, this is a sign that he is using you for a personal purpose.

Find a person who is excited for you and makes you become your best self. That person exists!

Selfishness destroys even the best of relationships.

2) A partner who only knows how to talk about himself and always interrupts you when you have something to say

This is very disrespectful!

And no… I’m not referring to the phrase “we finish each other’s sentences”.

I’m referring to someone who often talks about themselves, as if their opinion doesn’t matter to them.

Be very careful if you see this habit in your partner. This is one of the signs of a narcissist.

If you think it’s just a bad habit he can work on in his life, talk to him about it ASAP!

Let him know that it makes you feel disrespected.

Your relationship needs two-way conversations to survive and thrive! This issue could become a major issue in the future if not addressed.

SEE ALSO: 38 TRUTHS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS (NOT EVERYTHING IS THE SAME NOVEL)

3. A partner who forces you to do things you don’t want to do

Don’t fall into the feeling of guilt!

Maybe you’re dating someone who’s trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

Maybe that person is trying to get you to do something your conscience is telling you not to do.

TRUE LOVE does none of the above.

True love is selfless and wants what is best for the other person.

Manipulation and blame have no place in a healthy relationship.

SEE ALSO: 10 REASONS YOU CONTINUE ATTRACTING TOXIC PARTNERS INTO YOUR LIFE

4. A partner who distances you from your family and friends

This is a classic technique of someone who is controlling, jealous and insecure.

The reason he wants you away from your family and friends is because he wants unlimited access to you.

That way, he can turn you into who he wants you to be.

Your family and friends are part of who you are!

Never let someone take that away from you because of your own toxic personality issues.

5. A partner who criticizes you in front of other people

Does your partner use you as an example of mean jokes and criticize you in front of other people?

This can be in person or on social media!

You may laugh on the outside, but your heart is being crushed inside. You just want to cry or scream.

How can the “love of your life” not care what you look like to others?

Unfortunately, this is often a tactic used to make sure you know he or she is in control of you in the relationship.

This is a kind of emotional abuse!

Take care. This attitude is extremely narcissistic — and narcissists don’t change!

SEE ALSO: 7 TOXIC HABITS OF EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE PARTNERS

6. A partner who wants to keep the relationship a secret

Yes, that also means not making it public on social media.

Unless he has a good reason (like your safety), there’s no excuse for wanting to keep your relationship hidden from everyone.

7. A lazy partner

If you’re in a relationship with a lazy person, you better be prepared for a lifetime of hardship!

Does he/she have no goals and ambitions?

Or do you always talk about the big things you want to accomplish, but never take the steps to get started?

Does he give up everything he starts to do on the first difficulty?

If you’re a hard worker and have a lot of ambition, you need to be careful as you could end up being someone’s meal ticket!

SEE ALSO: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP: SEE HOW TO IDENTIFY AND OVERCOME THIS EVIL

8. A partner who treats you like a child

Does he/she treat you as if you were a child?

When you do something he/she doesn’t approve of, does he/she make you feel small and belittled?

It’s not their role to scold you!

You are a team—you must have a two-way conversation that is mutually respectful.

Not only does this make him/her look like a toxic narcissist, it also makes him/her incredibly unattractive and unfit for the role of “life partner”.

9. A partner who compares you to other people

“My ex never spoke to me like that.”

“You could grow your hair out to look like that girl”

“My mom doesn’t do that.”

It doesn’t matter if you feel compared directly or indirectly — that’s not right!

You don’t deserve to be disrespected in this way.

If you stay in that relationship, you will find that your self-esteem and respect will slowly disappear as you start to feel that you are not good enough.

You’re good enough for someone out there! If your current partner doesn’t see you that way, maybe you should move on.

10. A partner looks at other people

Have you ever caught yourself looking at someone else several times?

THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

He must have eyes only for you!

Some solid advice I received when I started dating my current wife was: “The first look is not wrong, the problem is in the second look!”

We are human beings. We like to look around and see the people around us.

Recognizing that someone is attractive is not a bad thing.

However, it is wrong to look, look again and check if what you saw is really true!

This is incredibly disrespectful to your partner.

11. A partner who treats people around them poorly

It doesn’t matter if he treats you like a king or a queen.

If he treats the people around him with disrespect, it will eventually affect you!

When your partner is rude and disrespectful to those around you, that behavior is sure to spread throughout the relationship!

Perhaps he or she is often rude to the waiter serving you in a restaurant.

Or maybe he has a tendency to take advantage of people—always for his own benefit.

This is called the “bully mentality”. This makes him/her feel “superior” when choosing someone who is in a difficult position to defend himself/herself.

This behavior is pathetic and needs to be confronted immediately because sooner or later you will become a target too.

12. A partner who is constantly digging through your cell phone

…this also goes for tablets, computers, notebooks, etc.

If your partner doesn’t like you fiddling with your cell phone or even looking over your shoulder while you’re on the phone… there’s certainly something very fishy going on.

Unless your cell phone is for work and you need security clearance to access it, he/she shouldn’t be mad at you for taking it!

13. A partner who gets unhealthy jealousy easily

I’m not talking about your natural instinct to protect the one you love and make sure the whole world knows that he or she is “you.”

I’m talking about issues of insecurity, manipulation and trust issues!

Does your partner require constant contact with you?

Does he ask you questions with tones of severe jealousy?

“Why are you dating him instead of me?”

“Why did you give him a goodbye hug?”

“You didn’t have to have lunch with her! Is your work relationship getting too close?”

“Did you just text her? You shouldn’t text other girls when you’re dating me!”

Your partner’s jealousy will seep into every conversation and interaction.

As he/she manipulates your path in all areas of your life, you will feel this gut-wrenching feeling that your life is being “taken over” by someone you should love and trust.

This problem is caused by a strong insecurity in your partner. He/she will act as if your insecurity is his/her problem.

Confront this behavior immediately!

SEE TOO:

5 ways to FIX your relationship when the going gets tough