In a perfect world, two people who want to be together wouldn’t have to give up anything they liked or wanted to make the relationship work. But the world is not perfect, and giving up something in a relationship is almost always necessary and much more common than you think.

I will be the first to say that I don’t like giving up the things I want or like for someone else. You can blame me, I don’t judge you for that. I am human and like all other people we tend to think of ourselves before anyone else. (Survival of the fittest and all.)

But what makes me feel better about committing is knowing that we’re meeting halfway. My partner and I may not get exactly what we want, but we have something so good, with the added bonus of making each other happy.

While commitment is incredibly important in relationships, it is important not to confuse it with sacrifice. With compromise, both parties are admitting things they want for the greater good of the relationship.

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Sacrifice, on the other hand, is when a person is completely giving up on something; There is no middle ground.

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to give up for things we don’t want to give up. And I don’t mean watching friends when you really wanted to watch vikings. I mean big commitments, like where you live, what you do for a living, how you manage your money… your whole life, essentially. These compromises are no fun, but sometimes they are necessary and people make them every day.

To get more of an idea of the compromises people have made to their relationships, which they never really wanted to do, Here are some accounts of people not so happy in their relationships:

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“I donated almost everything I had and moved from Fortaleza to São Paulo with just two suitcases, R$2,000.00 and unemployed. It was really terrifying, it’s hard to believe I did it.”

Change:

Agatha CB

“I decided to lock up my law school to move to her city. Arriving there, as he was unemployed and had no money for anything, the situation got more complicated. In the end, we had a falling out and ended our relationship.”

Breno Pereira Barbosa

“I gave up on the idea of finishing my degree at the university I started at because the second he got a job offer out of state/country, we moved out of here. It was good, but today I have to deal with the consequences of not having a degree.”

Ana PG

“I follow him in his work. Your work is much more specific, while mine is much more flexible. I feel a little upset about it because it means I can’t go anywhere I want, I can’t go down some career paths that might be specific to my field. How I wanted to be a technology writer for Vogue’s sewing patterns. We’ve decided that long distance isn’t really for either of us. In all honesty, I’m fine with this decision, but it’s disappointing to know that certain things are locked away for me forever. It’s like you’re told you can have a pie, but you can’t have pie and ice cream, you know?”

Melissa Cavalcanti Pinto

“I moved 1 hour away from my family and friends when our son was born so he could have an easier childhood and a simple commute to school. This time next year, we will be moving 1000 kilometers away from everyone I know. I’m excited for an adventure, but… damn, this is scary! I worry about something happening to my grandparents when I’m so far away and not being able to get home in time to say goodbye.”

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Victor Ferreira Rocha

Different sleeping times:

“We have very different work schedules, and I really enjoy going out, even though I have to stay up until two in the morning a few nights a week. On the other hand, he likes to go to bed early because the next day he has to work. We have to balance that.”

Vitória Cardoso Souza

“I have to give up going to bed early because I could happily go to bed at 9pm (or 8pm..), but he prefers to stay up until after midnight. But I love living with him so a little tiredness sometimes pays off…”

Laís Andrade

Sex:

“I have to be a lot more committed to having sex due to him being inexperienced.”

Sarah Santos

“I wish I had never let her break my rules about my body…”

Denis Iaci

“I can’t have a romantic relationship without an intensive sex life.”

Kai Goncalves Dias

“I made an exception for a virgin. Turns out the reason she was a virgin was low libido, too low to maintain a relationship with me.”

Rafael P.

“We ended up hurting ourselves a lot worse than if I hadn’t waited for her to be ready.”

Carlos F.

Religion:

“His family is super religious. Well, his mother’s side. I really have to fight to keep my mouth shut and not bother anyone, but I do it for him because I love him.”

Bruna Azevedo

“Having to go to church every Sunday… damn, how I hate it.”

Alison Cunha

Things some gave up for the people they loved:

“I stopped doing Jiu Jitsu, which was the sport I loved most in the world, because she hated the idea that I could get hurt. Today I regret that I am still in the white belt…”

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Vinicius Lima