Relationships are based on exchanges and sharing: of affections, experiences, good and bad times. Therefore, it is necessary that you and your partner are always aligned and in agreement with as many issues as possible that can involve a dating.
However, as this is not always a reality in romantic relationships, it may be that some of your boyfriend’s attitudes are harmful, both for you and for the relationship itself. Often, identifying these problems can be, at first, more difficult than it seems, since many actions can be disguised as “too much love”.
In others, it may be that the involvement is so great that you just end up forgetting some things that are important to both you and your partner and your relationship.
To help you get a better understanding of how much a relationship can change your habits, check out a list of 12 things you shouldn’t stop doing because of your boyfriend’s demands, or even because of a habit you’ve acquired after you break up. you started to relate.
1. Don’t walk away from your friends
At the beginning of relationships it is very common for new couples to want to spend as much time together as possible. Often, this implies moving away from the social groups in which each one is inserted or even from mutual friends. Although this is a natural and even unconscious behavior, it is prudent to avoid it, both to preserve friendships and to ensure that the couple continues to relate to other people, which is healthy.
In addition to becoming a suffocating relationship, the consequences of separation can range from getting sick of your partner due to the very exaggerated coexistence to, in more drastic cases, ending up being alone after a possible breakup because all your friends have given up trying to keep you. close by.
2. Don’t miss meeting new people
Stopping living with friends is also a way to make it difficult to develop new bonds or simply stop having contact with new people. Expanding the social circle, not necessarily bringing new acquaintances into your personal life, is one of the easiest and most practical ways to have new experiences and get to know more about the world, even if it’s just the environment around you.
Each individual brings with him a different baggage of life, each one knew different places and people, each one went through a unique educational process. Interpersonal relationships are very rich because of the exchange of experiences and knowledge they provide. The benefits of this can be enjoyed both individually and as a couple by introducing both (even if only you have had contact with the new person and then just tell your partner about what you heard that day) with new models of life.
3. Be sure to get to know yourself better
Life is a process of self-knowledge. Some even say that the greater your contact with yourself, the greater your inner peace. Knowing your body and your personality properly can save you from several unwanted situations or even disappointments.
Knowing yourself well, you will know what your limits are and you will understand better what makes you happy, so you can also defend your points of view more properly and create greater self-confidence, both in your appearance and in your attitudes.
4. Be sure to do what you like
Whether it’s out of jealousy, to give the relationship more time or simply because he asked, it’s important that you evaluate if stopping doing what you like is really worth it. This type of charge can come in many ways, such as for you to give up a hobby or stop going to certain places.
If you agree with his reasons and decide to give in, it’s also worth asking yourself if it wouldn’t be fair to negotiate so that he also puts aside something he likes to do and bothers you. However, great care must be taken so that this negotiation game is not harmful to the individual development of each of you, both professionally and personally.
5. Don’t change your appearance if you don’t want to
In a relationship, accepting criticism is very important, but it is also necessary to know how to filter it and even realize when your partner’s comments are unhealthy for you. Remember that you don’t have to lose weight because he wants to have a thin girlfriend, or straighten his hair because he doesn’t like curls, or stop wearing accessories because he doesn’t like you to dress up. Prioritize your feelings, make only the changes you want, and don’t let his requests for change undermine your self-esteem.
6. Be sure to dress however you want
Related to criticism, it is also common for partners to interfere in the way their girlfriends dress, but considerations in this regard are hardly free from the feeling of possession and jealousy.
If, in your relationship, the request for you to change your miniskirts for pants is recurrent, talk to your boyfriend and explain that this is your style and the way you dress does not change your feelings and respect for him.
7. Don’t give up your individuality
While being in a relationship means sharing, it doesn’t mean you and your partner need to share every minute of the days you spend together. You can still hang out with your friends and let him hang out with his friends, just as you can keep your own secrets — as long as it’s not something that puts your relationship and trust at risk, of course.
8. Don’t let them limit you
In toxic relationships, it can happen that the partner makes his girlfriend or wife believe that everything the couple live together is a stroke of luck, because, in fact, she would not be worthy of his great company.
The attitudes of the boyfriend or husband that trigger this manipulation process – also known as gaslighting – are cunning and not easily identifiable. In general, this can manifest itself in speeches that make you inferior or make you question and doubt yourself, which can get in the way of achieving professional goals or feeling beautiful, for example.
9. Don’t forget to travel
Taking advantage of an incredible opportunity, an airline promotion with friends or visiting a relative in another state: if your boyfriend can’t accompany you or the travel proposal doesn’t include him, talk to him and don’t let him take advantage of it.
As much as you live together a lot and share many moments now, it is still possible to spend some time without seeing him in person. If the problem is that you can’t live this adventure together anymore, tell him that you will bring him many new stories to tell and, if you like the destination, you can visit him together another time.
10. Don’t give up on your dreams
Above any characteristic, it is important that a relationship is full of companionship, which involves mutual support. So don’t let your partner’s pessimism or down-to-earth act like a bucket of cold water and don’t stop fighting for what you believe will make you happy.
11. Don’t betray yourself
Just as it’s not fair for you to stop doing what you like because your boyfriend asked, it’s also not fair for you to start doing something you don’t agree with or adopt habits that don’t match your lifestyle to better suit your lifestyle. your partner.
Always consider whether what you are going to do will not cause you to regret it in the future or compromise your health or self-esteem. It seems like a cliché to say this, but an always valid piece of advice is to point out that your partner should accept you the way you are, not how you could be. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with always trying to be a better person, however this is a decision that should come from you, who should be happy with the result.
Therefore, it is fundamental to the relationship that each one protects his individuality and does not betray himself or allow others to try to make you someone you are not.
12. Be sure to enjoy the present
The tips presented above can be summarized in a large group: enjoy the now, whether with your partner or alone, but especially alone. Never give up your personality to please others, especially if it bothers you. Respect your essence and prioritize your happiness before thinking about how you can make your boyfriend happier. Although it is cliché, it is still possible to reaffirm that it is only possible to be happy in a relationship when your happiness is guaranteed, just as it is only possible to truly love someone when the greatest love is for yourself.
As people are very different from each other, it is very difficult to list patterns in relationships, but it is worth saying that only the partner who loves you for who you really are and not with conditions of change deserves your time and affection. If you’re feeling undermined, unappreciated, or nullified in your relationship, it’s important to talk openly about it and consider whether it really pays to persist in a toxic relationship. Always remembering that your own happiness comes first.
With Knowledge Comes Wisdom
Walk comfortably in both Darkness and Light with these digital Books of Shadows: