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12 things to do to feel more secure in a relationship –

Nowadays it has become increasingly difficult to be self-confident when being in a relationship. This is usually due to bad experiences in past relationships.

Do not care anymore! Here we will teach you how to be self-confident in a relationship without losing your own essence.

How to be self-confident in a relationship?

It is perfectly normal that we feel a little insecure in our romantic relationship. Even the most stable couples face insecurity problems from time to time. But everything has a solution.

Let’s look at twelve strategies that, according to experts, are foolproof to help build solid bonds of trust and security:

1. Live in the present

They say that depression is an excess of the past and anxiety is an excess of the future. The same thing happens with relationships. If you always live in the mistakes of the past or in worry about the future, insecurity will creep in everywhere possible.

On a daily basis, you should take the time to clear your mind and focus on the here and now with your partner.

Pay attention to all the positive things that are happening between you right now. Repeat positive affirmations that reinforce the emotions you both want to feel.

2. Be realistic

Much of the insecurity in the couple comes from the fact that we minimize the good things about the relationship and exaggerate when interpreting the areas of opportunity.

Being realistic and objective will help you know the true dimension of the problems and realize that you make them bigger in your head.

When you realize that you are not being rational or assuming things for which you have no evidence—like that your partner doesn’t like you that much or that you are infidelity—stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and remember that those thoughts only feed the vicious cycle. of insecurity.

3. Get over the past

Many times our insecurity stems directly from a situation in the past in which we felt betrayed or perhaps that we were not good enough. And we unintentionally hold on to that pain unconsciously instead of letting it go.

Ask yourself what the real reason is that you let your trust in the relationship decrease. You may have been sabotaging her with negative patterns of behavior that you’re not even fully aware of.

If you want a healthy relationship with your partner, you have to forget, let go and forgive everything that is binding you to the suffering of the past.

4. Clarify things

Clarity gives us confidence most of the time, because by having things clear in the relationship we already know what to face and fear and anxiety cannot continue attacking self-esteem.

If you haven’t yet sat down to talk honestly with your partner about the level of commitment each of you really has and where you’re going, you won’t have enough tools to build mutual trust.

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5. Really commit

Perhaps the insecurity you feel about your partner’s commitment is nothing more than a psychological projection of your own lack of commitment.

The saying goes that “the lion believes that everyone is of his condition.” Sometimes people cannot fully trust others because they know that they themselves are not so trustworthy.

So remember that everything you want to get from your partner, you must offer it first.

6. Speak with actions, not words

Of course, promises, compliments and words of affection are very important in any relationship, but the most important thing is that actions effectively support all that verbal communication.

Trust is not earned or restored by talking, but by acting.

For example, if your partner feels like you don’t care enough, don’t just tell him or her otherwise, also commit to showing him or her that you do care by showing up on time, spending more time with him or her, and taking an interest in his or her things.

7. Share important things

Relationships often fall into the monotony of only telling each other inconsequential things that happened to them during the day, without ever really communicating or connecting on an intimate level.

This is one of the main sources of lack of security in the couple, because over time the other becomes a stranger about whom we no longer know anything relevant: not what they think, what they think or how they feel.

To avoid this, communicate honestly but above all, talk frequently about important things, such as your dreams or expectations and future plans.

8. Don’t avoid problems

Sometimes we realize that we are about to enter dangerous territory with our partner and since we are lazy or afraid to argue, we choose to evade the problem and change the subject or simply ignore it.

This is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship, because when you avoid talking, everyone assumes what they want and many misunderstandings arise.

Remember that arguing does not mean fighting, but when you have to face a difference it is best to do it head-on and with the best possible attitude.

9. Be grateful

Expressing gratitude is one of the important things that, however, we forget the most.

All those little things that your partner does for you or that you do for them may already be taken for granted as an obligation and that is not right.

It may not be very romantic to thank each other for every little thing, but you can always take a moment at the end of the day to genuinely thank each other for the little things you did with each other, like making breakfast, tidying up the house, or taking you to work.

10. Maintain frequent physical contact

Sex and intimacy are two different things and relationships require both. Intimacy is expressed through private jokes, knowing glances, but above all through physical contact.

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So get used to touching, caressing and kissing each other frequently; for no reason and without necessarily planning to end up in bed. May hugs and affection become part of your routine.

11. Exercise

One of the best things couples can do to increase their individual and mutual trust is to exercise. Exercise releases a series of hormones that help people feel much better in all aspects.

Plus, working out together and committing to a healthy lifestyle will help you have more in common and even increase your libido.

12. Eat healthy

It is typical that when a relationship begins to stabilize, both members gain a little weight and that is because they share more and more cravings and can make junk food part of their routine.

Believe it or not, allowing this to happen will affect the trust of both of you and that can lead to problems between you. The best thing is that you stay as healthy and active as possible and take it as a serious goal as a couple.

What’s the problem with being insecure in a relationship?

For us as human beings, love is very important. We all need to feel secure that the person we are with loves us just the way we are.

It is very important that the relationship we are in is built day by day through the trust we have in each other.

Feeling insecure is normal, as long as you don’t take it to extremes. That is, don’t hide behind that insecurity so as not to give yourself the opportunity for the relationship to flow.

Remember: there will always be the risk that it won’t work, but… what if it does work and you let your fears paralyze you?

The first thing you should do is know what makes you feel insecure and deal with it. Don’t let ghosts fill your mind about things that aren’t true.

It often happens that our brain is capable of creating a gigantic problem where it does not exist and it is also common for us to fear being rejected.

But the important thing is to leave the drama aside and enjoy the experience of sharing our life with someone.

Read our guide on 5 things to do when you feel insecure

Why do I feel insecure in my relationship?

One of the worst enemies a relationship can have is the insecurity of one of the parties involved. This often leads us to have problems with our partner.

Therefore, below I give you some of the possible reasons why we feel insecure when being in a relationship:

1. Infidelities

It is possible that, if at some point in the relationship they were unfaithful to us and we forgive said infidelity, we are prone to feeling that this could happen again.

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2. Lies

Many times our partner resorts to lying to us, because they think that if they tell us the truth we will get upset. So once the lie is discovered, it is very difficult to trust them again.

3. Lack of communication

When we don’t engage in conversations with our partner from the beginning of the relationship about our interests or dislikes, it will eventually become increasingly difficult to gain trust.

How to be confident in front of a man?

Over time we have seen how women have taken on a different role in society, taking over branches of study and being successful in different fields of work.

Therefore, being sure of ourselves in front of a man has become a necessity, whether to compete in work fields or to start new relationships, but… what should I do to be sure of myself in front of a man? Below I will give you some tips:

1) If you want to know him, be the one who takes the first step. That will surely surprise you.

2) Show him a little about your work and academic life, but also show a lot of interest in his.

3) Be yourself from the beginning of the relationship and that way he will know how to love you just the way you are.

4) We girls can also be funny and fun. Don’t stop showing your good humor.

5) Always talk to him about topics that are of interest to both of you. That will make everything flow between you.

How to be more self-confident and overcome shyness?

Although today there are many forms of communication and different ways to meet new people (and even to find new interests), there will always be those who feel scared by their shyness.

People who are shy always have the desire to experience their social life, but they are afraid because they think that they will be rejected and judged by society.

Shyness itself is not something that is impossible to overcome. In fact, through some exercises you can successfully overcome each of your fears:

1. Write a list about your fears and what causes you anxiety.

2. Try meditation.

3. When you feel afraid or anxious about doing something, take long, deep breaths.

4. Face each of your fears step by step and without putting pressure on yourself.

5. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

Read our on how to stop being insecure: 10 Things you have to remember

How to be more confident when speaking?

Many times communication with other people becomes something important that we must face every day and, of course, not all of us are skilled in this subject.

Showing the confidence you have in yourself when speaking is a fear that everyone has at some point…

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