11 things you should have in common with your partner

The saying goes that “opposites attract” and that may even be true, but it’s not always that they manage to stay together for a long time when we talk about a healthy relationship.

Beyond the small differences like the taste for the movies and the favorite dessert, there are some things that, most of the time, cannot be negotiated in a relationship because they represent a breach of the personal values ​​of each one. Discover the main ones:

1. Plans for the future

For a relationship to work, it is essential that you and your partner have the same vision about the future: where you plan to live, if you want to have children, what standard of living you want to have, etc.

Having a “north” helps you to realize what each of you needs to do on a daily basis so that you can achieve these goals. And, of course, if you don’t have the same “north”, you may need to rethink some choices or the relationship itself.

2. The possibility of being yourself

We all have some “masks” that we adopt to be able to live together at work or in other social environments. But at home and with your partner, you need to feel comfortable being yourself – and so does he. Otherwise, over time, you will feel frustrated with yourself as you no longer recognize who you are.

3. Both know how to admit when they are wrong

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and arguments are normal and even healthy – as long as they happen in a respectful way and serve to adjust things between you. What really matters in this case is that the two know how to recognize their own mistakes and are able to apologize.

When the relationship is still not very solid, the tendency is to want to disguise our blunders. But when you’re with someone who’s really willing to understand us and make things better, you feel more comfortable accepting a failure and finding a solution.

4. You have the same ethical and moral values

One of you has no problem earning a percentage on the condo construction without the neighbors knowing, while the other thinks everything should be in the open. One makes a point of following all the rules, but the other always looks for an easier way to get things done, even if it means breaking some rules.

In this case, the difference between ethical and moral values ​​can lead to a great disappointment in the relationship, as one will feel held back and the other will feel that their principles have been disrespected.

5. There is an emotional connection

Having physical attraction is essential for a relationship to exist, but that alone is not enough. Without an emotional connection, there will be no real desire to build a future together – it’s just a momentary relationship.

If that’s what you’re looking for, fine. However, if you want a partner or partner to have a long-term relationship, there needs to be affection and mutual interest between you.

6. Do you handle money in similar ways?

Of course, you shouldn’t open a joint account with your partner in the first week, but the way you handle finances is very important to building a lasting relationship.

There are people who choose to live in the present and, therefore, do not worry about saving. Others, however, put the future first and always try to save a good amount each month. While each of you should take care of your own finances, you need to have a similar view on how best to handle money.

7. Both have the same interest in sex

When two people have different levels of interest in sex, one of them will always feel frustrated and rejected while the other will feel pressured all the time. In this way, it is very common for sexual relations to become a bargaining chip between the couple, something that is not healthy for the relationship.

8. Both give equal value to spending time alone

For a relationship to last, it’s important that you both give equal importance to the time you spend with each other. It may be that one partner loves to go out in a group and is always looking for an activity that involves more people, while the other prefers that the couple be alone.

In this case, there may be a disparity in the level of attention and dedication perceived: while one will feel that they are already spending enough time with their partner by including them in their social programming, the other may feel that the relationship is not being valued as it should. .

9. Do you have the same opinion about children?

If your partner is crazy about having children and you just can’t relate to motherhood, then it’s clear that at some point you’re going to have some obstacles in the relationship.

It may be that you are still not sure about your family plans, but it is important that you clarify what each one thinks about this matter.

10. Similar views on religion and politics

You may avoid bringing up these topics among friends or in a professional setting, but it’s essential that you and your partner have similar opinions when it comes to sensitive topics like religion and politics.

You don’t necessarily have to have the same belief or vote for this or that candidate, but it’s essential that there is good dialogue and that both are flexible. When there is no room for debate, extreme opinions can be very difficult to deal with.

11. Both have the same desire to grow

You can dream of specializing academically, opening a successful company or gaining an important position abroad. Or, you may be content to have a steady job and a car in the garage.

Regardless of your dreams, it’s important that you both share the same desire to grow (or not!). Otherwise, one will end up feeling irritated by the other’s apparent despondency, and the other will not understand why the partner just won’t leave him alone.

Small differences are natural and completely to be expected – after all, you are not relating to the mirror! However, there are some points that can be difficult to let go of. When these big differences get under the rug, they end up undermining the relationship up front. Thus, it is always advisable to resort to dialogue from the beginning of the relationship.