11 Simple Ways To Cut Emotional Ties With Your Ex

Whether your relationship was fleeting and passionate, or very long and deeply meaningful, breaking up with someone can bring a lot of disappointment and sadness.

Ultimately, it’s a loss. For some people, breaking the connection can be especially difficult and painful.

Before you can learn how to cut emotional ties with your ex, it helps to understand why you are having a difficult time.

Why is it difficult to break emotional ties with your ex?

Knowing why it is so difficult to break that bond and connection can help you identify the strategies that will be most useful for you later, to get away from your ex in a healthy way.

You will have to do some soul searching as you wonder why your ex still means so much to you.

Here are some things that could be happening and interfering with your progress toward emotional independence.

1) You are surrounded by reminders of him

Your ex may be long gone, but your house is full of memories.

These reminders can be obvious (photographs, tokens of love) or more subtle.

Did you buy a furniture set together and then argue about where to put the sofa?

Did your ex choose the color of the living room?

Did your ex buy those dishes on the last vacation?

If so, you’ll need to do more than get rid of a few key items before you can stop thinking about your ex.

Your ex is everywhere in your environment and that has to change.

2) Loneliness

Often, when people start to be in a relationship, they change their dedication and focus 100% on their partner.

When those relationships end, they realize that they have neglected their friendships.

It could be that you are having a hard time moving on because your boyfriend was keeping your loneliness at bay.

Now that it’s gone, you’re left facing that loneliness.

3) You are forgetting how hard it was

The mind sometimes betrays us unintentionally. Maybe you are just thinking about the good times you had with your ex.

You may be reminiscing about the nice dinners you had at your favorite restaurant or how nice it was to have someone in your life over the holidays.

It may be that you are losing perspective.

There were good moments but also hard ones, that’s probably why they broke up.

Are you afraid of never having another relationship again?

For some people, relationships are rare and exciting, and when they end, it seems like there will never be a relationship like that again.

In these circumstances, knowing that the relationship is over brings a lot of sadness, even if the relationship was problematic.

4) You find it hard to believe in yourself

If you suffer from low confidence or have a hard time believing in yourself, you may not have confidence in your ability to be in another relationship.

You may think that you deserved the bad relationship that just ended. Or you may not believe that you will ever have a better relationship.

Maybe you think that no man could find you special enough to want exclusivity with you.

5) You just weren’t ready

Maybe you weren’t ready for the relationship to end, even if it wasn’t a very good relationship.

If this is the case, this can make letting go especially difficult.

You are afraid of the unknown.

If your relationship lasted a long time, you may be struggling with the enormity of the change you are facing now. It is natural to be afraid of the unknown.

Life is going to feel strange for a while without your ex. It will be difficult for you to sit alone to eat in a restaurant and you will think that everyone is looking at you. But with time it will pass.

6) Being with your ex felt good

It could be that you really believed that your ex was “the one” and that you would be in a relationship with him forever.

It can be a real disappointment when those kinds of relationships come to an end, and it’s especially heartbreaking to accept this kind of loss.

What can you do to cut the emotional tie?

Now perhaps you have a clearer idea of ​​why it is so difficult to let go of your loved one. So it will be easier to break the connection.

Some of these suggestions will seem more “right” to you depending on the way you feel and the reasons why you are having a hard time.

1) Make a list of the reasons why it didn’t work

If you can only remember the good times with your ex, then one of the ways you can let go is by reminding yourself of the problems you had.

Make a list of the reasons why your relationship didn’t work out.

You can include bad memories, reasons why you’re mad at your ex, and personality incompatibilities.

Take the time you need to do it, so you know that the decision to separate was the right one.

2) Do not judge yourself or your feelings

It’s okay to feel a little attached to your ex, even now. As long as you don’t think you’ve developed an emotional dependency. The reality is that you have experienced a loss and it is difficult to get over it.

If you’re already having a hard time cutting emotional ties with your ex, you’ll only complicate things by harshly judging your feelings and making yourself feel guilty on top of that.

You need to be able to consider your feelings without judging them in order to transcend them. Acceptance is the key.

3) Focus on yourself, your health and your well-being

Another way to develop healthier feelings towards your ex, or maybe just get over it, is to take care of yourself.

Get enough sleep, eat well, drink enough water, and exercise.

Taking care of yourself will help you feel better about your body, your appearance, and yourself. It might even help you find a new boyfriend if that’s what you want.

4) Stay away from social media

Social networks are a place where our friends, exes and enemies mingle in a great online environment.

You may have already blocked your ex on your social media account (and if you haven’t, think about whether it wouldn’t do you any good), but that doesn’t stop your friends and other acquaintances from mentioning your ex online.

While you’re trying to break the habit of contacting your ex, it’s best to stay off social media altogether.

If you see people talking about their ex or mentioning him on social media, you may be tempted to reach out to him, so stay away.

5) Get excited about the future

If you have a hard time imagining your life and what it will be like without your ex, you may not have spent enough time imagining it. Start making exciting plans for the future.

Visualize what your life will be like without your ex and try to make that future as positive as possible. Getting excited about the future will help you develop a more positive attitude, which could eventually help you move forward.

6) Take advantage of your time with friends and loved ones

Do you feel lonely without your ex? That’s perfectly natural, especially if your ex was your friend before he was your boyfriend. Or even worse if your ex is in a new relationship.

Spending time with friends and loved ones can help you get through this sad time when you may feel a little lonely.

Make plans for the weekend or the upcoming weekends. Arrange for dinner with friends or family. The more time you spend with others, the less time you’ll spend thinking about being alone.

7) Think positively

Look on the bright side of your recent breakup.

Gratitude has always been a very powerful tool for me.

Make a list of things you’re thankful you can do now that you’re not with your ex.

Maybe you did things you didn’t feel like so much to please your ex.

Or maybe now that your ex is gone, you can finally hit snooze as many times as you want before waking up for work.

You’ll be able to take that solo trip you’ve always wanted or watch those romantic movies he hated.

Some things were a bummer with your ex, and now that he’s gone, you can enjoy yourself more fully and authentically.

Look on the bright side and make a list of reasons to be happy now that you are free of your ex’s influence in your life.

8) Get rid of memories

Is your house full of reminders about the time you spent with your ex? If so, it’s time to get rid of them.

Remodel, read the latest Feng shui book to give a new air and energy to your space.

Start by saving all the sentimental items, like the photos of your ex, the gifts he has given you. You don’t need to throw away those sentimental items, unless you feel like it could be a healing experience for you (and you’re sure you won’t regret it later).

Next, remove the reminders that are less obvious.

Maybe you should give away that chair he always sat in or the sheets that smell of him. Whatever it is, get rid of those reminders that keep you from moving forward.

9) Plan something big

Do you remember in Eat Pray Love that the main character went on a long journey to get over his ex?

Sometimes all you need to get over a traumatic breakup is to go on a trip or plan something big that will help you take your mind off your recent loss.

There’s a good chance that if you’re focused on something else thinking about the excitement of a new project, you’ll be able to move on more easily.

10) Meet someone new

For some people, one of the most effective ways to break the connection with their ex is to find someone new, preferably someone who is more compatible with them.

Once they have found the right person, they can stop thinking about their ex.

An important caveat: finding someone new is not a healthy way to hide from your feelings for your ex. If you’re not really over your relationship with him, then it’s best not to attract another person into your life yet.

Spend more time working on “you”. Once you’ve healed enough that you’re no longer in love with your ex, then you can look for someone else. If that’s what makes you happy.

11) Take advantage of the benefits of meditation

Whether you have never tried it or if you already know these practices. Meditation and breathing exercises can help you a lot to be at peace and cut those emotional ties that no longer serve you.

There are countless tools available on the internet and guided meditations.

I am particularly passionate about Breathwork.

The shaman Rudá Iande has created a wonderful online workshop where he teaches various practices where you can learn a lot about this incredible tool that is breathing.

Learn to set boundaries instead of breaking connections

Do you have children with your ex? Are you still tied to your ex through joint ownership or maybe you are still friends with your ex?

If this is the case, you may not and cannot break ties with your ex.

Instead, you should learn to set boundaries that can help you have a healthy relationship in the future. Even as they learn to live apart from each other. Setting limits is easier if you have a nice relationship.

Avoid the urge to make your ex jealous. Set ground rules that you both agree on. Develop healthy communication habits.

If you have children or pets who are now in a situation of…