11 Hard to “digest” truths about life that some people still can’t face

Happy people don’t see life in terms of “perfection”. They accept the world as it really is, including its injustices and annoyances. Those who prefer to ignore misfortunes can find themselves running a kind of endless marathon, repeating the same mistakes. Life constantly shows us that it is impossible to have absolutely everything we want and that accepting our imperfections and those of others is the first step towards being fully happy.

We, from incredible.club, we try to face reality without fear, however cruel it may be. And there are simple questions that can help us look at life with a little more sincerity.

A lot of people still waste a lot of time trying to explain the meaning of the universe — the exception is professional philosophers, who do this as a profession.

The truth is that nothing seems to make sense when we don’t have a goal or an activity that gives us pleasure. That is why it is very important to find our vocation. It is from it that we will enjoy our day to day, making metaphysical questions less relevant. But lying on the couch to watch TV doesn’t count as a vocation, does it?

Some of us share our own problems almost involuntarily: “they cut my salary”, “my back hurts”, “my boss sucks”… Such topics are considered normal for everyday conversations, but these complaints do not not only annoy others, they also have a negative effect on our psychology.

Before expressing your dissatisfaction with the injustices in the world, think about the purpose you want to achieve: do you want to ask for help or do you just want to vent? If you’re not specifically looking for help, don’t share your problems with anyone just to “take the weight off your shoulders”. This can have an influence on both your interpersonal relationships and your mental health. If you’re thinking of simply “letting off steam,” think twice.

An action that is repeated over and over again will inexorably become boring. The problem is that life predicts the repetition of different processes on a daily basis: waking up, showering, brushing teeth, working, eating, sleeping, etc. You can travel, take riding lessons, learn Chinese, but with each passing year, there will be fewer things that will surprise you. It’s inevitable. And therefore, bouts of boredom become more frequent over time, which is totally normal.

Poet Joseph Brodsky recommended the following for dealing with boredom: “When boredom strikes, give in to it; dive to the bottom. There is a general rule of thumb for dealing with unpleasantness: the sooner you hit rock bottom, the faster you can surface.”

This may not be easy to accept, but it is necessary if we are to objectively assess our relevance to others. If you think you’re special, you’re likely to be let down by people at some point (and probably more than once).

How can excessive confidence in yourself get in the way of your life? This can be reflected in the way you relate lovingly, for example, believing that the other person will change their habits by being with someone “special” — later in this post, we will deal more deeply with the difficulty of changing a person. Another example is when an employee is so confident in his potential and relevance to the company that he does not believe he can be replaced, which can lead to irreparable career decisions.

In general terms, we are not saying that having confidence in yourself is something counterproductive, but that having the humility to put yourself on the same level as other people will bring much more lasting results.

Dealing with criticism from unknown (or little-known) people is easier than accepting those coming from family and close friends. Close people know our weaknesses and can hit the places that hurt the most, not always by chance. As a form of self-protection, we can try to lower our expectations. We need to understand that all people, without exception, are liable to make mistakes and have their own needs and desires, which do not necessarily match ours.

It’s simple: if your time and energy is not important to you, it will be used for the benefit of others. Anyone who has traveled by plane knows that, according to safety rules, you must put on an oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. Sometimes we have good intentions when helping. But you have to be careful not to be disappointed expecting a retribution that never comes.

Just don’t think people are ungrateful. The focus here is on valuing yourself and not failing to do something you love because you’re dedicating all your time to others. We must love and help others as ourselves, but never more than ourselves.

“The soul never grows old”. That’s a great motto for life. But we must admit that at 40 years old we will not have the same health as at 20 (back pain will remind you of this). The sooner you accept this reality and start taking precautions, the better you will feel in the future.

Bad habits contribute to diseases manifesting faster. Doctors say that genetic predisposition to disease is like a loaded gun, but lifestyle is what actually pulls the trigger or not. Therefore, do not stop walking, eating vegetables instead of fast food and going to the doctor regularly. These are the choices we must make early on. But thinking that youth and health are inexhaustible resources will only bring you frustration, unfortunately.

This “preparation” must be not only physical (see the paragraph on health), but also financial and psychological. Regrettably, social bonds weaken with age. Children and grandchildren will certainly help, but they won’t necessarily be there – and therefore, they won’t avoid loneliness. In other words, in old age we will spend most of our time alone.

But growing old is not as scary as it seems. Nowadays, older people have many more opportunities: they can continue working or explore different hobbies. Everything will depend on how you will deal with aging: if you accept the new position you will occupy in society, it will be much easier to get used to changes in life and in your body.

Sadly, promises of eternal love are rarely kept. Sociologists suggest that most people have a predisposition to change partners. Feelings don’t last forever and we should keep that in mind when we are in a relationship. It’s not a good idea to live for someone else’s sake, giving up your own needs and friends. Sometimes, codependency is so great that if the relationship ends, you will have to rebuild your life from scratch and relearn how to live alone. But not everyone is ready for that.

A relationship should be a two-way street. If you feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting, that’s probably what’s happening. This can happen because your partner doesn’t love you the way you would like, or because he doesn’t love you, but he likes to receive your affection. The first case is easier: all it takes is a little communication and not being afraid to talk about what you would like to see changed. But if the person continues to act in the same way, without considering your wants and needs, maybe it’s time to question yourself about whether this relationship is being healthy for you.

Many believe that we should strive to “improve” or “change” our relationship, actually seeking to change the other, with agreements or ultimatums. But this, most likely, will lead to frustration and quarrels. Rather than trying to get something from your partner, psychologists advise simply giving your loved one what they really want. Thus, we can focus not on what will be good for the relationship, but on what will be good for ourselves. And that goes for both parties.

And then, do you think that the “naked and raw” truth helps to see the world with different eyes? Or would you rather not even think about it?