10 Women’s Bellies That Tell a Story You Wouldn’t Know

We assume many things about people, and especially about their bodies. Perhaps it seems more reasonable, for some reason, to make assumptions about things that are visible.

We make assumptions about people based on race, religion, sex and gender. We assume that if a person is fat, he must be unhealthy. If she’s skinny, she must be healthy. If you don’t have children, it’s because you shouldn’t want children. If she has 19 kids she must be stupid. If the person is a mother or father who takes care of children at home, he must love his children. If she has a professional career, she must be selfish.

I’ll share some bellies – several. You don’t know anything about these bellies or the heads attached to them (unless one of them is yours – if so, thank you!). These women are my friends, they are my village, and they were willing to share their stories so you can give them the respect they deserve.

1. Val.

This belly belongs to my friend Val. She has two beautiful little daughters. The first baby was born without complications. Val’s second pregnancy was normal, but the birth was not. Val hemorrhaged and had an emergency hysterectomy. She nearly died from blood loss. Val is alive. She lives with something that concretely reminds her of what she’s been through, and the truth is, she’s not going to give birth to any more babies. I am grateful to Val for sharing her story and letting me share it with you. Val is a kind, gentle soul – and she is a very strong woman.
Val’s belly is part of her story.

2. Kelly

This belly belongs to Keli, who has three children. Keli’s first daughter was born in perfect health, after a full-term pregnancy. When her second pregnancy reached 35 weeks, Keli suffered a placental abruption. Her daughter was born by emergency c-section and is very healthy. Keli’s third baby, a beautiful little boy, was delivered by caesarean section at 39 weeks gestation due to polyhydramnios. Keli faced a lot of fear with this birth, but she overcame her fears. She’s a runner, the mother of a son with epilepsy, and one of the kindest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Keli’s belly is part of her story.

3. Kina

This belly belongs to Kina, who has had two pregnancies. Before becoming pregnant, she was diagnosed with ovarian teratoma. She had surgery to remove the tumor and found it weighed four kilos – more than most babies! This left her with an asymmetrical abdomen. She got pregnant with twins and carried the pregnancy to term. Forty weeks! Twins! And then she gave birth to these two beautiful babies vaginally. Kina is a wonderful mother who is not afraid to fight for her children. She is an activist, and I am honored to meet her.
Kina’s belly is part of her story.

4. Kat.

This belly belongs to my friend Kat. Kat and I went to high school together. When she was 23, she was diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). She suffered severe menstrual bleeding. Shortly after that she was diagnosed with endometrial and uterine cancer. Twenty-four hours after the diagnosis, she underwent a total hysterectomy. And after the hysterectomy, Kat developed breast cancer. TWICE. She is an incredible warrior. I love and admire her deeply.
Kat’s belly is part of her story..

5. Jenny

This belly belongs to my friend Jenny. She spent 18 months battling infertility and suffered two miscarriages. She was thrilled to discover that she had conceived triplets! When she had the second ultrasound, she was told that Baby C was not viable. A week later, in a confirmation ultrasound, Baby C was seen again, ALIVE! A baby ninja warrior. Jenny’s babies were born prematurely, at 28 weeks of gestation. Today they are 4-year-olds, healthy, incredible and growing. Jenny is a smart, book-loving woman and an amazing mother.
Jenny’s belly is part of her story.

6. Erin

This belly belongs to my friend Erin. Erin has twin girls. I asked her to tell me her story, and she said: “Becoming pregnant, the pregnancy itself and the delivery of the girls, all of this was the most medical experience of my life. The girls were conceived in a doctor’s office, and after being born they spent 16 days in the NICU. I had dozens of ultrasound scans, I went into early labor, I had gestational diabetes, and both of my daughters were crossed in the uterus and were born by caesarean section. It was not at all how I would have imagined or wanted things to happen. But even though I didn’t like it very much, it was still the most magical and miraculous experience of my life.” Erin is a teacher, mentor, and book lover (SERIOUSLY bibliophile). We met over the Internet, and I’m so grateful for that.
Erin’s belly is part of her story.

7. Kayce

This is Kayce, who lost six babies before seven weeks of pregnancy and one at 14 weeks. But today she has three healthy children! Her first daughter was born by caesarean section. Kayce wanted the second to be born naturally. It worked, and now she is a freebirther (a mother who gives birth alone at home, without the help of a doctor or midwife). Kayce wants to become a midwife, she wants to be a voice for women who have suffered loss. She is a kind and compassionate soul and overall a warrior.
Kayce’s belly is part of her story.

8. Amanda

This is my sweet friend Amanda. Amanda had her first child at age 17. After that, she had twins, and then yet another baby. Her last baby was born at home, without anyone’s help. She took her own child in her own hands. Amanda has diastasis rectus abdominis and is working very hard to heal the problem. She is an amazing yogi and a beautiful person. I feel blessed by the universe to be able to say that she is my friend.
Amanda’s belly is part of her story.

9. M

This is M. She has no children. Her body is the epitome of “perfection” by western standards. But M is a victim of rape. Her belly does not reveal the marks, even after she has gone through a month of antiretroviral drugs, several antibiotics to prevent STDs and countless tests and interviews. She is a beautiful woman and an empathetic soul. She is a survivor.
M’s belly is part of her story.

10. I

This belly is mine. I have five living, beautiful, intelligent and compassionate children (ages 19, 17, 15, 4 and 3!). I have a sister who could practically be my daughter. My first daughter was born early, at 21 weeks. She would be 21 next week, if she had lived. I’m a baker, baby maker, nurse and editor. My belly is stretched and flabby. And that’s part of my story.

We spend a lot of time thinking about our bodies – our faces, our fat, our bellies. We wanted our bellies to be harder but flatter, firmer, more whatever. We love our bellies. We hate our bellies. How about we take a break and pay tribute to them?

What we assume about people’s bodies does not tell the whole story. Everyone has a story. Our body is just a part of it. When we stop making assumptions, we will be able to listen.

This piece by Joni Edelman first appeared on the women’s alternative site ravishly.com, which features news + culture.

Article published in Brasilpost.com.br