10 Ways to Identify an Emotional Manipulator and How to Avoid Falling into Their Traps

With the intention of gaining some kind of benefit or taking control, certain people are capable of emotionally manipulating other individuals, using devious or exploitative strategies. Of course, at some point in life, we can all manipulate a little, but when the thing becomes customary, we need to be aware and know how to deal with the situation in order to avoid being harmed and to interrupt the cycles that feed the manipulator.

we, from awesome.clubwe have prepared a list of techniques commonly used by emotional manipulators so that you know how to identify them.

When a person says “no” to a request, but does so indirectly and then avoids facing his own refusal, the picture can configure passive-aggressive behavior. Individuals with a manipulative personality tend to be pessimistic and resentful, choosing to express their conflicts through anger disguised as attitudes such as procrastination, stubbornness, and inefficiency.

The ideal is to make the person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior see that he is responsible for his own mistakes. And it’s essential that we stop blaming ourselves if that’s the case and put our needs first. On the other hand, it is necessary to avoid entering the games of that manipulative mind. In addition, it is good not to confront the situation out of anger, but to think about our own health and happiness.

Manipulation can end up becoming a form of social and emotional intimidation, taking, for example, the form of intellectual abuse. In situations like this, one person assumes the role of expert on the subject, while the other person, feeling embarrassed, tends to end up looking to the manipulator to obtain some kind of information.

To react to this, it is better not to get into power games. When attitudes and words cease to affect us, the manipulator ends up feeling ashamed of his own behavior. If someone insists on repeatedly citing a mistake from your past, you need to make that person see that it no longer matters.

When someone changes the facts, causing the other person to get to the point of distrusting their own memory and questioning their own instincts, it causes a feeling of uncertainty and insecurity. Such manipulations undermine both the victim’s confidence and sense of reality, even causing him to confuse what is true and what is not.

One of the signs that you are under this type of emotional manipulation is precisely when questions and doubts arise about what you think and what you do. Faced with such a situation, it is good to trust your criteria, demonstrate security and identify those people you can trust to talk about the case. Sometimes you need help from a professional.

Emotional manipulation can happen in all kinds of situations, including a sales and negotiation strategy. In these cases, the manipulator takes advantage of a person’s fragility and puts pressure on him, without considering whether or not that individual is ready to make a decision.

Given this, it is very useful to learn to detect these tactics. When someone demonstrates that they are acting with this intention, it is best to keep their distance, try to buy time and consult other options and opinions. Important decisions take time and can only be made during an emotional state of calm.

Another tactic often used by the emotional manipulator is to make the other person feel special enough to share all their secrets with them. However, when someone is overconfident before they get to know us better, it is possible that, in reality, that person is trying to sniff out our weaknesses so that they can use them against us.

Consciously or not, the person can put himself in the role of victim. The manipulator is characterized by acting passively, avoiding problems and blaming others for everything bad that happens and having a pessimistic view of the environment around him. However, it must be taken into account that this is usually a protection mechanism in the face of signs of fear or anxiety.

When an individual presents this type of behavior pattern, the ideal is not to judge or criticize him, but to show respect. It is preferable to have a sincere conversation to understand the other and avoid demotivation. In addition, offering support and guidance for the person to question their own responsibility in the face of what happens also helps.

In order to try to control or influence choices, manipulators can make that person feel guilty for expressing their own concerns. Also, they tend to act aggressively or try to confuse to create an argument.

In cases where expressing yourself is also an act of courage, shame should not function as an excuse that limits communication. Quite the contrary: the point is to assert one’s own feelings and personal values.

To try to plant the seed of doubt and hesitation, the emotional manipulator may resort to cruel remarks disguised as sarcasm or pretending to be saying something unpleasant just in jest. In reality, these people are insecure and often have low self-esteem. Therefore, in a respectful and polite way, we need to assert our rights, making it clear that we also deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

Sometimes, the emotional manipulator uses his own silence as a resource, or simply punishes a certain person by ignoring him. It is also possible that he creates a power imbalance, stimulating the desire for approval and closeness while doing just the opposite, disapproving and withdrawing.

Although certain situations require time so that they can be faced calmly, the decision to “freeze” someone involves not only silence, but can also imply an emotional and physical isolation hidden under the mismanagement of communication, not least because the problems will not go away on their own. In this sense, talking about emotions is precisely what should be done.

Those people who live with us the most are precisely the ones who come to know our weaknesses. And it is possible for the manipulator to use our weaknesses to hurt or control us, always highlighting our vulnerabilities. These individuals also tend to use feelings against us, making the target of manipulation feel guilty about their emotions.

In such cases, you should not try to defeat the manipulator, but rather be aware of the answers you want to give, apologize if necessary, and set boundaries. Remember how important emotional health is, and that looking for a specialist can be one of the solutions to stop this type of behavior.

You’ve experienced something similar when dealing with a manipulative person. How did you handle the situation? Leave a comment with your story!