10 ways to feel better about how you look

Hello friends!

In our Cognitive Psychology of Depression Course, we are looking in detail at the various symptoms and one of them, in particular, caught my attention: the distortion of body image or, in other words, distorted self-image. Of course, if you don’t feel pretty or attractive, this doesn’t mean you have depression, as this is just one of the symptoms.

Just to complete the information, according to Aaron Beck, in a large survey of 966 people, 66% of patients with severe depression believed that they were not attractive, compared to 12% of non-depressed patients. That is, more than half of depressed people have the following type of thought: “I am ugly”, “I am not attractive”, “I am contemptible / repulsive”, etc.

The amazing thing for me was to have observed with this research that more than 10% of the population also has a distorted self-image. In fact, if we go out and ask people out of curiosity, we will see that this number can be much more, especially among women who, no matter how beautiful and attractive they are, always think that they are not good enough.

The problem with not feeling good about your own appearance is that this type of thinking can become very harmful – not only in love relationships – but even in the work environment and social life as a whole.

In this text, I adapt the text of the American Phd Susan Krauss Whitbourne.

1) Forget idealized images of beauty in the media

Well, I’ve been saying here on the site for a long time that comparing yourself with others is a huge nonsense. In psychology, we understand the importance of individuality: each one has a life story, a past, as well as a way of looking at the world, having different sensations and much more. With that, if you compare yourself with another person, you are comparing two individuals who are by definition different. It would be like comparing an orange with an apple (two different elements), I mean, you can compare, but it doesn’t make sense.

If you compare yourself to another person, you will either feel superior or inferior. Both are negative. If you compare yourself to a media artist, you are not only comparing yourself to someone with a different life story (including a lot of plastic surgery and botox), but you are also comparing yourself to an illusion: too much makeup and too much photoshop.

Think carefully if it’s worth comparing yourself with a retouched image, like this one of the Madonna:

So forget the idealized images you see in the media (TV, newspapers, magazines) because they are just that: a (false) idealization.

2) Find other ways to define yourself beyond your body

We all have internal and external characteristics. For example, someone might be praised for being tall or for being strong or for having brown eyes. These are external features. Interestingly, one way for you to start to feel better about your appearance is to start looking more at your internal characteristics, your personality qualities.

A person with self-confidence certainly feels more beautiful and shows the beauty of self-confidence to other people.

3) Don’t panic when you feel like you look bad

If one day you’re not feeling particularly attractive, don’t despair. The anxiety and stress caused by this impression will actually be much more harmful than how you assess it to be.

In other words, if you are not feeling that you are not well physically, panicking, creating irritation, discomfort, hopelessness will only make things worse. Calm down, notice the points you like most about yourself (internal and external) and take care of yourself.

4) smile

This way is simple to understand. Take two pictures of yourself: one in which you are smiling and one in which you are looking serious. It is very likely that you will choose the photo in which you are smiling as the best one. Therefore, in your day-to-day life, smile more, laugh, learn to relax.

We all consider cheerful people to be more attractive and get this: it’s proven that smiling can improve your mood.

5) Let your face breathe

Interestingly, another way to feel better is to remove makeup (or any product such as a men’s gel) that might interfere with your appearance. The reason is also simple: you will be more “natural” and, at the same time, if you spend a day or two without makeup your skin will have a better appearance, because it will have the chance to “breathe” a little, that is, to stay chemical free.

6) Wear clothes that are comfortable

Many people think that to feel better about their appearance they have to wear chic, branded, trendy clothes. It may be that here and there it even helps, however, what helps more is to wear clothes that are comfortable. Imagine wearing shoes that hurt your feet or tight pants that make you feel uncomfortable… imagine? So, feeling uncomfortable will not be a point in favor of your feeling of being well in the look.

7) Take a break from the mirrors

This tip doesn’t mean you have to literally break your mirrors. However, lose the habit (if you have it) of constantly looking in the mirror. Not only will you build more self-confidence by not having to check every second, but it will also help you shift your focus from outward appearance (in mirrors, shop windows, pocket mirrors) to how you feel internally. .

If you feel good about yourself, this will become more and more independent of what is in the mirror. And with a positive feeling about your image in the world, as we’ve seen, you will consequently also appear better in mirrors and to others.

8) Try to stay healthy

Health is not always a choice. In many cases, we can get sick without being directly responsible. In others, we can maintain and cultivate our health, such as stopping smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages, exercising, eating well, avoiding processed foods.

Taking care of yourself is very important to feel good about your appearance. If you’re still very young, think about how day-to-day behaviors will make all the difference in the long run. Industrialized food, full of sugar, preservatives, salt will make you more prone to illness, to gain weight and to feel bad.

9) Consider the opinion of others

Consider the opinions of others who are close to you, who like you and whom you like and respect. Maybe you think there’s a disproportionate part of your body (like your nose, ear) or maybe you feel like you’ve put on weight or your hair looks awful, for example. Ask those close to you and you will hear the truth. Most of the time, the truth will be that you are fine and that the issue that is bothering you doesn’t matter so much.

10) I’m good for my age

If you compare yourself to other people who are younger than you, you are – again – comparing yourself. If you compare yourself to your younger self, you are thinking wrongly. (Although sometimes time is good for people), advancing age brings changes.

I once saw a video of Louise Hay, the famous author of bestsellers on self-esteem, and she said: “this year will be the best of my life” and she was already 80 years old in the video! To feel better and better about how you look, inside and out, consider that you look good and put aside useless comparisons more and more. After all, everyone lives their own life and the time to live is today.

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