10 Tips for women to deal with harassers at work

Workplace harassers have become a very common problem. In the United States, for example, about 66% of working women have been harassed. Furthermore, it appears that men behave abusively more often than women. And among the harassers, 61% are bosses. Aggression affects self-esteem and can lead to serious health problems. And sometimes it’s really hard to stay strong, especially when you’re bullied by your superior. But it’s still important to do everything possible to take care of yourself.

O awesome.club wants to share some tips on how to resist harassment. We hope this helps you work with peace of mind, and that you never have to face something like this.

Even if you work with men, don’t forget that you are a woman🇧🇷 And try to avoid any kind of romance with co-workers. You are a colleague and a member of the team, not an object of desire. She is a beautiful woman and will not fail to receive compliments, but it is better to separate work and personal life.

Avoid fraternizing a lot with men. They must remember that they need to be careful about what they say and do in your presence, avoiding foul nicknames and behaving respectfully.

Write down each incident of harassment in detail. Date, time, place, words and actions. It’s also important to document who was close to you at the time, and who might testify on your behalf in the future. Keep all records in a safe place so that no one picks them up and throws them away.

You can warn the abuser about the recording the conversation on a voice recorder or camera🇧🇷 This will force you to behave more restrained and to reflect on your words and actions. All of these well-documented and preserved evidence and records can help you bring your case to justice.

In general, a bully will not behave rudely towards just one person. You can talk about his situation with your co-workers, especially those you trust, and try to find an ally. It’s easier to resist together. The more people who report harassment, the better the result.

Make sure that your ally is a reliable person, willing not only to support you with words, but to accompany you throughout the process. Tell your co-worker to
collect all evidence of harassment and work out a plan together to take action on the matter.

Do what you can to not be alone with the harasser. If you meet him in the hallway or in a secluded place, it’s best not to get involved in any conversation. In front of others, the stalker will certainly act more calmly and politely. You need a third party to vouch for your words in the future.

After reaching an agreement with the witnesses and collecting all the evidence to report the harassment, you must inform the director of human resources or your supervisor🇧🇷 Make two copies, one for yourself and one for your superior. Tell the whole story of the harassment based on your notes and records, and finally let your colleagues testify. You can send
your notes via email for proof of your claim. If that doesn’t help, go on to the next point.

If your supervisor or human resources manager can’t help you for some reason (your abuser is his friend, he’s a good worker or even a boss), you can look up information about cases similar to yours and carefully study labor legislation🇧🇷 Get in touch with the authorities dealing with workers’ rights.

You can visit a lawyer with all the evidence collected. Ask your superior to provide you with a written or electronic version of the refusal to resolve your issue. You should try to formalize all your declarations and appeals in an official wayso that later you can
use them in court.

The abuser wants to cause you negative emotions and harm you at all costs. He will be happy to make you cry and make you nervous. But you can surprise him🇧🇷 Try to ignore the harasser and remain calm. This attitude on your part will be disconcerting to him and will end the harassment. Here you will find several techniques that can help you.

The most obvious and simple way is to try not to be in the same spaces where the harasser is. Keep as much distance as possible from that person. Behave as if you haven’t seen him. To calm down, you can spell the alphabet or count to ten in your mind. Imagine a wall between you and the harasser. Visualize how your offensive and rude words hit the wall without hitting it.
Direct the negativity of the bully in a positive direction, and distract yourself. Do activities related to drawing, sports or music.
Avoid using offensive words in response to the harasser. If you want to vent, you can write. Don’t go down to the bully’s level.

Try to change your attitude towards bullying. If possible, do not show anger and disgust. React to harassers in a cold and non-expressive way.🇧🇷 Respond in short sentences and in a calm, confident voice, without irritation or hesitation. Don’t speak in a low voice, speak loud and clear.

Use your body to your advantage. A secure posture, restricted movements all create an impactful effect on the harasser. Try to take up as much space as possible to look more impressive.🇧🇷 Stand up straight, straighten your shoulders, put your chin up. This body language will give you a sense of confidence and power.

It’s best that you always think about how to react to the harasser. Speaking from the heart, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, is not the best idea. Make your message simple and clear🇧🇷 Remember to use short sentences. Do not attempt to retaliate or offend the harasser.

If possible, take what you are told with humor and kindness. With the help of a good joke, you can turn bullying into a compliment. This will ensure that the harassment has no negative impact on you. Look the harasser in the eye with absolute confidence and ask him to stop his disrespectful behavior🇧🇷 Be as assertive as possible and have your body language expressed in the right way, as indicated in the previous point.

Unfortunately, on many occasions harassment goes beyond the verbal aspects and ends up leading to physical violence. But there are many techniques that can help you defend yourself and break free. We will describe some of them here.

Protect your face. Bend your arms, press them tightly against your body and place your fists in front of your face. Press the harasser’s eyes or Adam’s apple, or hit him in the ears. Defend yourself from the aggressor as much as you can. Try to hit your eyes, nose and knees🇧🇷 If you can stretch your neck, try breaking his nose with your forehead. You can also hit him with your knee in the stomach or groin. If he grabs you from behind, step on him with your heel. And if you’re jumping, press it down on the attacker’s foot as hard as you can.
Kick your knees.

When you notice that the attacker is weak and disoriented, run for help. Scream as loud as you can.

Being harassed is not your fault. One of the harasser’s motivations is to increase self-esteem. And if you became his target, it’s a sign that he is a very strong person that abusers try to weaken. After all, you have your own point of view, and you always defend your arguments.

You can take abuse and make it positively impact your life. As? Learn from your mistakes, work on your resilience, your assertiveness and your confidence in yourself. You can make a list of your achievements and strengths and think about it when you hear hurtful words. Always be polite, positive, and do your best at work. Your colleagues will admire you even more.

Have you ever been harassed at work? Do you have any other advice on how to deal with a harassment situation in this environment? Tell us your story in the comments section. Your experience can help someone else!