10 things you should never say to your friend

Being friends with someone usually also means having a lot of freedom and intimacy with that person, to the point of being able to say practically anything to them, right?

However, even when friends have a very free relationship with each other, it is important to be considerate when addressing them, taking care not to offend them or try to control their lives through small phrases that we say without realizing their weight.

Often, even with good intentions, we can end up hurting a friend by saying what we think without filtering this information, without saying “tactfully”, hurting her or judging her in some way.

So that you don’t make this kind of slip with your friends, check out below a list of some of these phrases that you should avoid to maintain the necessary limits even in a very intimate relationship.

1.” Don’t you want to have kids? Who will take care of you when you are old?”

The first problem with that phrase is that people don’t have children just because they need someone to take care of them as they get older. In addition, you must respect your friend’s wishes to have children or not, after all, no one is obliged to do so just because they were born a woman. Don’t try to belittle your friend because she doesn’t want to be a mother. That doesn’t make her any less of a woman.

2. “How come you didn’t tell me anything about that guy you were with?”

The fact that she is your friend doesn’t oblige her to give a report of everything that is going on in her life. Let her decide what she wants to talk about and respect if she keeps some things a secret. It could be that she’s not ready to talk about it yet, or that she’s embarrassed to talk about it. Instead of criticizing and demanding that she tell you everything about her life, always try to listen to her respectfully and not be judgmental, so she will feel more comfortable telling you about her personal life.

3. “I told you so!”

Nothing can be worse than hearing from your friend that she warned you about something bad that happened that you are already feeling bad about. Saying that doesn’t help at all and still “steps” on your friend’s wound. Instead of gloating about her suffering, be supportive and caring without judging her. It’s what she needs most right now.

4. “You won’t make it.”

In the face of a difficult time or an important life decision, no matter how complicated the situation seems, don’t discourage your friend. Think of ways you can help her, whether it’s giving her ideas on how to overcome something unavoidable, or thinking of ways to help her prepare for the challenges that a life change can bring. Be a partner, don’t point fingers and don’t discourage her. Encourage her and be a companion, supporting her in her decisions.

5. “How fat you are!”

First of all, being fat or being fat is not a bad thing. accept. And that’s not about you worrying about your friend’s health. Avoid wanting to control her weight, as this is not her decision but hers. Whether she’s thin, fat, bald, or has long hair, you shouldn’t try to use it to judge her or think you know what’s best for her. Especially if she’s trying to make a change, whether it’s trying to gain or lose weight, don’t take a guess. Have the sensitivity to see her beyond what society imposes as right and wrong and love her without judgment.

6. “You deserve someone better.”

The first mistake in this sentence is that you’re saying that your friend doesn’t know how to choose, and the second, that you’re assuming she doesn’t see his mistakes. Instead of criticizing your friend’s boyfriend, fiancé or husband, try to show her the qualities she has, value her and encourage high self-esteem, so she knows she has her value and that she doesn’t have to stay with someone who doesn’t deserve her. , if you really believe it. But remember: compliments are only valid when they are true. That is, nothing to praise without criteria or praise for praise.

7. “You’re lucky you got someone like that.”

With this line you are saying that your friend doesn’t deserve the partner she has, either because you think he is too handsome for her or that he has much more qualities than her. Saying that is the easiest way to offend a friend and hurt her deeply. If you can’t perceive your friend’s qualities and value her for them, it’s time to review your attitudes and look for ways to be a better friend.

8. “You should have more sex.”

The sexual frequency of each one is something individual and that must be respected. Don’t think that because you do it 5 times a week, your friend also needs to do it to be happy. Every person has different needs and wants and no one is more or less happy because they don’t have as much sex as you do.

9. “Do you want to be single forever?” or “You choose too much.”

The big mistake in this case is to think that everyone’s happiness depends on being with someone, regardless of whether or not that person makes your friend happy. If she doesn’t want to be with someone right now, respect that. And if she has no interest in getting married, in relating, respect that too. Not everyone wants that, each person has different life goals and that doesn’t make them any less worthy of happiness.

10. “You have no reason to be sad.”

It’s definitely one of the things we say without realizing how insensitive that phrase is. By saying that, you are lessening the pain the other person is feeling, which only they know how great it is. Don’t trivialize another person’s feeling, because you don’t know how difficult this situation is for them. Even if you’ve gone through something similar, each person feels the events of life differently, so no one has the right to think that the other’s suffering is “bullshit” and that it doesn’t deserve due attention. Support your friend by giving affection and attention, listen to what she has to say with respect, without judging her.

It is normal that we have already said these phrases to our friends without intending to hurt them, as they are common phrases and we do not always realize how cruel they can be. But now that you know how much they can hurt, think twice before using them, think of alternative and more sensitive ways to say what you think and be careful when giving advice, because it’s not always what’s good for you. , it’s good for your girlfriends.