10 things you need to know before getting married

As difficult as life for two is, everyone wants to take on this challenge and make the relationship work. Check out some lessons that will make you connect or reconnect with your loved one – no matter if you are already married or if the ceremony is yet to take place.

1. Always invest
Life has a load of stress capable of destabilizing any marriage. Therefore, it is necessary to make a reserve of love for difficult times. An intimate conversation, a moment of love, the company on a walk hand in hand… These acts of love are the positive balance and you can resort to them whenever you need it.

2. Say what you feel
Antagonism is counterproductive, it leads nowhere. The way to understanding is to exchange anger for sincere and loving speech. That way, even if they have problems in the same area again, they won’t position themselves as enemies.

3. Prioritize the couple
It sounds shocking, but it’s simple: take care of yourself first and your children second. An obsessed, overprotective and overpresent mother leaves little room for the father to act. Without realizing it, she distances him from his children while diverting attention from the problems that the two should be trying to overcome in order to remain together and happy.

4. Stipulate your limits
Throwing in the towel, forgetting important dates, always being late… For some situations, you can close your eyes; for others, no. So position yourself with transparency. Once you know exactly what your priorities are, set your boundaries.

5. Be happy alone
Individual happiness depends on each one. It’s one thing for you to enjoy all the good he brings to your life, it’s another to think he has an obligation to make you happy. Unfortunately, many of us enter marriage imagining that our husbands will save us from their pain and frustrations. This deception is the source of unhappiness in thousands of relationships.

6. Take a vacation together
Few things are more effective in rekindling enthusiasm in a relationship than leisure time. Some couples, without having an exact idea of ​​the importance of getting out of their routine and breathing new air, don’t even plan a joint vacation. Others get so used to the hectic pace of life that they invent reasons to postpone projects.

7. Accept the conflict
Often, unable to express yourself honestly, don’t you push the hurt under the rug and pretend everything is fine? Fearing confrontation, don’t you store up anger until the pent-up feeling sours into resentment and hurts the other, who feels betrayed? Instead of running away from the conflict that arises from differences, welcome it with curiosity and interest.

8. Learning to forgive
The process of letting go of a grudge begins when we realize that we are undermining our own lives by harboring it. For many people, the urge to retaliate and punish is very strong, they feel betrayed and wronged. Therefore, we shouldn’t blame ourselves, but forgive ourselves too: for not being perfect, for having difficulty forgiving.

9. Having a life of your own
As if doing everything together was the recipe for the perfect marriage, many couples do not allow themselves individual attitudes. In the beginning, it may even work, but over time that feeling of comfort, security and closeness becomes perceived as control, imprisonment and resentment. For the relationship to work, each one needs to be secure in their own lives and at the same time connected with the other.

10. Respect and listen
There’s nothing more frustrating, irritating, and off-putting than bringing up a problem and hearing the comment that you’re making a big deal out of a molehill. We usually use this speech when we can’t control our discomfort for not knowing the way out of an impasse. So instead of supporting the partner’s feelings, we make them feel criticized and judged.