10 seemingly harmless phrases at the time of feeding that harm a child’s self-esteem

“Eat a few more pieces of this fish because it is very good for your health”, they repeated incessantly in our childhood. And we obediently opened our mouths, even though we still couldn’t eat on our own. It was a problem to say no to our dear mother or grandmother’s incisive requests. In addition, we also wanted to be stronger and healthier than an older sister or the neighbor’s son, to whom we were so often compared. Unfortunately, what our parents, grandparents or caregivers didn’t know is that all this advice could be the cause of the development of serious complexes, which many of us are forced to struggle with in adulthood.

Incrível.club brings you some phrases spoken by our attentive parents during our meals and presents a reflection on how they can influence a child’s fragile mind.

Parents believe that they are setting a good example for the child, but when we are younger, we understand things in a different way: “Another child does something better, which means he is better than me”.

With this behavior, eating certain foods can become traumatic. Also, the need to constantly compare yourself to others can become a habit and perhaps will stay with you forever. And obviously it’s not a good thing.

Of course, it’s frustrating to spend a lot of time in the kitchen and then see your beloved son turn up his nose and refuse to eat what was prepared with so much love. And this is how these “educational” phrases arise, in which the child ingests food “splashed” with tears.

The problem is that the child can get used to believing that his desires and expectations are of no interest to anyone. And not even herself. This habit can also carry over into your adult life: it is almost impossible to adapt to a team under the premise that “I am the worst”.

Maybe it’s much easier to ask your child what he would like to eat or prepare nutritious options that he doesn’t like the taste so much.

The child comes to a very simple conclusion: “To earn a compliment, I always have to eat every last grain, even if I don’t feel like it.”

This desire to please adults eventually leads them to overeat, which causes them to develop problems with being overweight during childhood. A little later, the habit is formed of eating “because everyone eats”, especially in the presence of their colleagues, or eating the whole plate so as not to offend the host.

Therefore, it is better to praise the child for his real achievements. Which is not the case of finishing a plate of food, even if you don’t feel like it. Food was made to keep us alive, not to be rewarded.

Naturally, parents try to feed the child with the healthiest foods. They are always willing to make the greatest effort and the “ungrateful children” do not value their efforts.

The result of this is not good: the child grows up with a feeling of guilt. First, in relation to the parents, and secondly, the whole world. To the boss, who begins to notice this behavior and knows what to say to make that former guilty child work on the weekend, without being properly paid for it. And it even stops in relation to a store salesperson, who tries so hard to show the products, that the person feels uncomfortable not taking anything.

It’s a common question even for adults. However, for children, it can be quite challenging. The need to choose between parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles or cousins ​​can create confusion and even embarrassment.

In this way, it is possible for the child to create a feeling that he must always choose a more important person and perhaps not develop his self-love, as the first piece hardly goes to himself, who will not “choose himself”.

Do you recognize this type of phrase? Sounds familiar? We hear it at home and even at school. Usually, after receiving these kinds of orders, we don’t even want to say thank you, even if the food is the most delicious in the world. What kind of gratitude can come from obligation?

It is no secret that this authoritarian upbringing destroys the relationship between parents and children and, at the same time, generates a strong aversion to domestic tasks.

Perhaps it would be easier to change the strategy: after the meal, ask the little one if he liked what he ate and suggest that he take the dishes to the kitchen. These small attitudes can end up making all the difference.

“You must eat!”, even if this dish is new to the child and does not generate any desire in him to try it.

It’s much better to play with the little one and encourage him to discover new flavors. Try to describe the taste of this product and the beneficial substances it contains.

Otherwise, in a few years this child could become a classic example of a person used to doing everything by force and limiting himself to pleasures. Just because it “needs” to do something.

This phrase works as if it were the case of action and reaction effect: if you solve the problem, you will receive a tasty reward. Psychologists argue that from this behavior the child can develop all kinds of eating disorders, such as “swallowing up” problems with something rich or not giving up on a self-destructive attitude, as if it were a punishment for a failure or a mistake.

When facing any stress, the child, and later that adult, will approach the fridge to eat something sweet, to have that rewarding feeling again. And then a feeling of guilt about overeating will invade you. A vicious circle, right?

“Meat with fat is bad for you, sugar is a white poison, eggs are a real source of cholesterol.” Thus, the child will come to a simple conclusion: “I love products that are bad for your health. It means something is wrong with me.”

This type of situation creates an “excellent” environment for raising a hypochondriac person, who in his adult life will likely suffer from food addiction. These people are often addicted to harmful products, which were strictly prohibited in their childhood.

That’s what parents usually tell their children in adolescence, when their body, in the process of growth, requires much more food than normal. The most painful effect of all this is that, at this very age, it is very important for teenagers to be told that they are beautiful, needed, and loved.

Even if the child has problems with being overweight, do not constantly dwell on the subject. It is better to work together with a healthy eating strategy than to raise a person with a chronic sense of guilt.

Do you agree that such phrases should never be said to a child? Or, on the contrary, do you believe that children are not so delicate as to create trauma because of some words? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!