10 commandments to be beautiful and powerful –

Beautiful clothes and accessories are impressive, but they are not enough to show the world what you are capable of. An inspiring and self-confident image depends more on attitudes that you often don’t even notice. “70% of what the world sees of us is the result of our non-verbal communication”, says psychologist Mônica Portella, from Rio de Janeiro. “Gestures, posture and facial expressions say more about you than you might think.”

It’s not about turning up your nose and giving a threatening look. But finding the balance between sweetness and security, which is only possible when you know your strengths and weaknesses, enjoy your own company and value yourself. “Just as an ordinary girl can become beautiful for what she transmits, a beautiful woman can become ugly if she is very insecure”, says the American writer Sherry Argov, author of the book Why Men Love Powerful Women? (Sextant Publisher). Ready to become a fan magnet?

1. Conquer with the look

At the time of seduction or in a job interview, leave aside the fixed gaze, the one that dries the person in front of you. He is not the one who delivers his true power. It’s also not worth looking down, of course. “Conversation while facing the other person can seem aggressive and intimidate them, while looking over your shoulder or to the side all the time demonstrates boredom or disinterest”, says Mônica Portella. Choose the middle ground: making eye contact is a must, but you can make it more natural by casting your eyes to another part of the other person’s face and to the side from time to time.

2. Lift your head

The first impression does count: it only takes 30 seconds for the other person to form an opinion about you, experts say. At this time, one of the most important points in your favor (or against you) is your posture. Straight back, open shoulders and uplifted chin are the picture of success. And the good thing is, it doesn’t just change how others see you, but how you see yourself too. Research from the University of Ohio, in the United States, showed that maintaining the correct posture affects thoughts and increases confidence. Psychologist Giovana Tessaro, from Curitiba, adds: “Feeling really safe is half the battle for the world to see you as a powerful woman”.

3. Learn to say no

Confess: do you have the greatest difficulty putting this short word into your vocabulary? Is denying anything, from an invitation to a favor or an honest opinion, a sacrifice? You are not the only one, but beware: you are the one who loses with this. For fear of hurting someone or being rejected, it is typically feminine to go out saying yes to everything and thus become overloaded at work, unhappy in the relationship, doing things you don’t feel like doing… Next time, assess whether you are really able to offer that help or if you really want to do what you are asked. Having the courage to say no and choosing yes at the right time are signs that you value your time, your desires, and your opinions. That, yes, is power.

4. Smile more

Facing the world with a smile on your face makes you more attractive and positive. But let’s agree that, to release laughter – and still speak up close, look good in the photo and wear that powerful red lipstick – with pride, it is mandatory to display well-groomed teeth. Not to mention that this also raises your value in the job market, as suggested by researchers Sherry Glied and Matthew Neidell, from Columbia University, in the United States. Is it your case? Excellent! If not yet, take care of yours with the right hygiene and remember that cosmetic dentistry offers solutions to all kinds of problems nowadays. Want the recipe for a natural, killer smile? The teeth are shown and the eyes are slightly shrunken, without fear of revealing possible wrinkles.

5. Use your voice to your advantage

In a conversation, the volume, pace, and pauses you use when speaking reflect your emotional state and how in control you are. The key is balance: voicing too loudly or too softly can express insecurity, just as too fast or too slow risks revealing anxiety or lack of enthusiasm. Hesitated, stuttered, voice got thin and seems like it’s going to be missing? “Breathe deeply, as many times as the moment allows”, advises Giovana Tessaro. This will slow down your brain and help you regain control of your communication.

6. Love your hair

You (and more than 90% of Brazilian women, as revealed by a survey carried out by a multinational cosmetics company) already know that waking up with good hair is crucial to staying in good shape all day and gaining self-confidence, whether at work or in your personal life. . What is perhaps new is that this is much more than a matter of vanity. “Hair is a means of expression capable of revealing a lot of the female personality”, says anthropologist Miriam Goldenberg, professor at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro. She suggests that, while the long one is associated with sensuality, the short one usually conveys the image of a serious woman. “And if the straight blonde symbolizes power, the original dark and curly reveals freedom and security to accept its roots”, she says. Natural or colorful, short or long, some things are true for everyone: hair has to be well cared for and match your lifestyle, which shows that you know and like yourself.

7. Find your style

Do not believe if someone says that spending money on clothes, bags and shoes is superfluous. “Stocking the closet with quality pieces that are just like you is an investment that is part of the task of showing the world what you came for”, argues psychologist Mônica Portella. If the first impression counts, it pays to invest in making it a positive one. In other words, more important than dressing up as sexy, sober or modern is finding models that value your body type, make you feel comfortable and convey the message you want to convey. When shopping, remember that resisting another bag or pair of sandals of the same color is also an exercise of your power – of choice.

8. Bet on make

Believe me: for every woman there is a perfect beauty product and a makeup style capable of enhancing her best features. Event promoter Tatiana Barbieri, 34, discovered this a short time ago. “I only started to apply makeup when I started working with parties”, she says. “I was embarrassed to receive guests with a clean face and I started slowly: first mascara and gloss, then a blush, eyeliner… Today, I’m in love with make-up and I don’t recognize myself without it.” Playing around reading beauty magazines, browsing blogs on the subject on the internet, trying out cosmetics from various brands and testing out looks in front of the mirror affected the girl’s self-esteem. “I’m more vain, I dress better and I go out more at night. I also became a reference for my friends, who don’t go out clubbing without asking me what I think of the production.”

9. Build your repertoire

Most of us are impressed by those women who inspire effortless confidence, charm and power, as if they were born that way, aren’t we? But no one comes into the world ready-made, and it’s along the way that you prepare and expand your knowledge. Whatever your area of ​​interest, study, read, inform yourself. Better: get interested in various subjects and exercise your curiosity – and your brain. Thus, you increase your circle of acquaintances, your chances of romance and your range of opportunities.

10. Embrace victory

Whether it’s a compliment, a gift or a promotion, the truly powerful woman accepts the recognition of her success with pride and pleasure, without amending that “I didn’t need it”, which sometimes escapes without us realizing it – at that time, a simple “Thank you” says it all. But that’s an achievement, and it comes to someone who dedicates himself with passion to work, relationships, his favorite hobby… and knows that he deserves everything he receives.