You feel angry and you don’t know why

It is a kind of discomfort that manifests itself in your mood, but also in your body. You experience annoyance. It makes you hot and you may feel a certain heaviness in your head. You may also experience tightness in your throat and some tightness in your chest. It’s anger, which besieges you and sometimes you don’t know exactly why.

When anger arises from a specific stimulus, such as an offensive act or an unpleasant situation, it is much easier to outline a course of action to follow.. You have the alternative of creating a fight, digesting what happened and letting it go or handling the matter civilly. But when anger is not directed at something or someone specifically, but simply permeates your entire emotional world with annoyance, it is more difficult to keep it under control.

In principle, anger is a positive emotion, to the extent that it allows us to resist circumstances that are frustrating. or threatening to you. It is simply a defense or attack reaction that allows a person to assert themselves. But when that anger becomes dull and constant, when it becomes permanent irritability and makes you explode even over insignificant events, it is necessary to review what is happening.

The anger that persists and feeds on itself

We all know people who seem to be constantly angry. They look tense and noticeably worried every day, regardless of whether there are positive or negative events around them. They seem to be immune to what is happening around them, because they still remain angry. They are told that they are like “a spark” and that at the slightest unpleasant stimulus they unleash a fire of great proportions.

What happens to those people who feel anger and cannot specify why? In general is about individuals with wrong learning: they believe that unleashing a conflict is an effective way to achieve their goals. Because they have a hard time tolerating and understanding those who think or act differently than themselves, they get angry and complain to others for not doing things the way they think they should do them, rightly or wrongly.

For those who are chronically angry, there is only one way of living, only one way of feeling and only one way of acting: the one they call “correct.” They feel they should react with anger when they “catch” someone doing something that “doesn’t belong.” They cannot stand the feeling of chaos in the world, because, most likely, they themselves experience an inner chaos that they can only keep at bay by being “psychorigid.”

Also These are usually people with difficulties expressing their emotions. They often repress what is inside them and are only able to express it through an outburst of rage. That emotion gives them the necessary impulse to say what they had kept silent about. For this reason, their words are overloaded and almost always represent an exaggerated or too extreme vision of a situation.

A monster that ends up devouring its creator

There are times when anger is really a factor that orders, that sets limits and that prevents greater evils.. A good truth, said in time and “without anesthesia”, allows us to put “the dots on the i’s” and stop some harmful circumstance.

Ideally, we would always have enough control to say everything accurately and measuredly. But this is not always the case, our instinctive and emotional brain is much more powerful than the rational one and we cannot prevent it from taking control in an exceptional way. In fact, it is good that sometimes those around us realize that we also have our character.

But in the case of this constant irritability, instead of promoting a healthy situation, what can be triggered is a dynamic that ends up attacking the well-being of the “anger.” What he wants is order, “correctness,” or whatever you want to call it. But What you get with your screams and your disjointed demands is the complete opposite.: more mess, more errors and fewer solutions.

These types of people end up impregnating all their relationships with tension and conflict.. Sooner or later, one always ends up receiving what he gives. So it is very likely that “anger” will become a victim of its own invention. Others become more demanding and intolerant of him and remain negatively predisposed to his presence. He becomes someone who is annoying, who is constantly questioned, who cannot be tolerated.

It is very common for this constant irritability to be accompanied by depression and anxiety.. Sadness due to the frustration that comes with feeling helpless in the face of the impossibility of making everything work the way he wants. Anxiety, for the same reason and due to the multiple conflicts in which the person is involved.

At the end of the day, these types of attitudes are just a way of wasting the best in life. It is clear that if you constantly feel anger, end up not knowing why and this blocks you, you need something more than a new purpose. What you need is professional help.

What is hidden in the basement?

Many people use the word basement to refer to what they have inside and they don’t know how to define. “There is something in here, in the basement,” some say while touching their chest, “that won’t leave me alone.” In reality, the basement would be what we do not know, our unconscious, everything that has happened in our life and we have emotionally encoded it but now we do not know how it affects us.

Some may have received a fairly strict upbringing and were not allowed to lead the life they wanted. Others, perhaps due to cowardice or lack of decision, are also not capable of leading the life that would make them happy. Unconsciously, many people find it uncomfortable to see happiness in others, since When happiness is absent in their lives, seeing it in others is threatening to them..

That is why in many schools they are placing special emphasis on emotional intelligence, so that adolescents learn to manage their emotions and relate to others in an empathetic and cordial way. In an article by Berrocal and Extremera (2009) highlight the benefits of the development of emotional intelligence on the psychological well-being of adolescents. Furthermore, they add that for this work, schools must enjoy an open environment that goes beyond their context and extends to the family and society.

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