You are not a burden: phrases that will convince you to ask for help

Since we are children we are taught the need to be brave. They convince us that we should not be afraid of the dark, that strong people do not cry and that there is no better value than self-sufficiency. Our society implicitly instills in us that asking for help and leaning on other people’s shoulders is something undesirable that only the weak do.

The truth is that most of us have a curious cognitive dissonance installed in our minds. We are happy to act as saviors for others, but we are mortified to ask anything of those around us. We are those creatures who see vulnerability as a threat and it eats us to say out loud that we are wrong, that we need support.

Human beings are mostly dominated by an independent mentality that convinces us that we should do things by ourselves. And this doesn’t have to be bad, at all. Howeverbeing clear that there are times when life weighs us down too much and it is vitally important to know how to say “I’m wrong, help me” is an act of responsibility.

It is important that children and adolescents learn as soon as possible that asking for help is normal and necessary.

7 phrases that will convince you to ask for help

There is a revealing aspect that makes us reflect. Many children are afraid to say out loud to their teacher that they have not understood something because they fear being teased by their peers. If people are afraid to ask for help, it is because from early on we internalize that doing so shows our incompetence. Also because it can put us at a disadvantage compared to others.

However, and here comes the greatest irony of all, Many people are happy to help others. This is what a study from the University of Oxford explains to us. Acts of kindness make us feel good. The simple act of telling someone that we are going through a bad time and we need their support will make them feel useful, satisfied, and even self-fulfilled.

The problem is that those who go through a complicated moment harbor very biased ideas. They assume that there is a high probability that others will reject their request, ridicule their suffering, and be a nuisance. There are many people who feed the idea that they are a burden and that it is best not to add more pressure to the immediate environment with their problems.

We need to deactivate those irrational and harmful ideas. Therefore, if you are currently going through difficulties, sadness and discomfort, keep these phrases in mind to ask for help.

1. Brave is the one who asks for help, not the one who appears to be fine

Most societies exalt the image of independence, resolve and efficiency. Since we are children, they make us believe that a hero is the one who resolves every vicissitude by himself, without anyone’s help. Let’s be careful with this idea because it is as false as it is counterproductive.

Brave is someone who relies on others, who takes the step to ask for what they need and does not hesitate to recognize their limits and problems. There is not an ounce of cowardice in those who surrender and ask for shelter, affection and the guidance of others.

2. You are not a burden, you are someone loved

When darkness and hopelessness embrace us, it is very difficult to see the light of the “lighthouse people”, those who are there for us at every moment. Because there are, because they are there, next to you, in the form of your partner, your friends, your family. There are many figures who love you for whom you are not a burden, you are someone loved and an essential part of their lives.

3. You can’t do it alone, with the help of others you will find the strength you need

It is possible that throughout your life you have become accustomed to solving each of your problems, concerns and challenges. What’s more, it is very likely that you have always been that helping hand for others, that shoulder to cry on, those backs that carry everything and that mind that solves everything. But, who takes care of you and saves you?

Integrate in your heart and brain that the time has come to understand that you cannot do this alone.. The day has come to take the step and understand that with the strength of others you will find the strength you need. This is one of the phrases that will convince you to ask for help.

4. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you fallible, it makes you human

Allowing ourselves to accept our vulnerability is a basic survival exercise. Dr. Brené Brown, professor and researcher at the University of Houston, reminds us that this dimension is what facilitates love, belonging, and even courage. We are not invulnerable beings, superheroes of impregnable strength.

We are people of flesh, bones, emotions and needs. Being vulnerable is part of our essence and feeling this way does not make us fallible, but it facilitates connection with others.

5. Feeling afraid is normal, we all feel it when asking for help

Fear, restlessness, shame, indecision, anguish… The act of revealing to others that we are not well and that we need support fills us with difficult emotions. However, you should know that it is a universal sensation, we have all experienced it at some point and feeling it does not make you different or defective. It is a universal experience.

Accept those feelings and move forward. Don’t hesitate to tell someone around you something as simple and sincere as “right now I feel very scared.”, but I have to tell you that I am wrong and I need your support. This is one of the phrases that will convince you to ask for help.

There are people who love you and are there to help you and be your refuge when the world hurts you.

6. Nobody is going to judge you, what you are going to feel is the love of others

Those who love you do not judge you, those who feel you are part of themselves will not criticize you or question your words and needs. So Deactivate those irrational ideas that feed your indecision and the constant belief that they will not understand you. They will do it because affection is understanding and because nothing is more decisive for those who are part of your life than being your ally, your refuge, your unquestionable support.

7. Everything will look much better when you ask for help

You may find it hard to believe right now. Because when people suffer, we are hopeless and sadness dominates us, it is very difficult to believe that things can be solved. However, it will happen. The pain you feel now is temporary, because nothing is eternal, because when you ask for help you will perceive that an immense burden is released from you.. The one that now prevents you from breathing.

Don’t hesitate, don’t think twice and look for those people who are the cornerstone of your daily life. Your loved ones love you and you are important to them and therefore, you should not have any more doubts and reluctance. You would give your soul for them, so… Why not this time be the one who has to be helped when they need it? It’s time to be brave to stop suffering.

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