Why Parents Lose Sleep Over Their Kids, Even When They’re Adults

All the high hopes placed on children can bring a lot of anxiety to parents. There are times when parents worry too much and their fears keep them up at night. And, contrary to what young parents think, this situation often does not change even when the children leave the nest. This is what a study on the subject shows.

We, from awesome.club, we love spreading knowledge about mental health and honoring the family. That’s why we present this research, especially for parents, whether they are younger or older.

Amber J. Seidel, a researcher at Pennsylvania State University, USA, conducted a study on parents, looking at those who had minor children and others with adult children. The work was based on 186 families and she found that parents lost sleep over excessive worry, even when their children had already reached adulthood.

The study used a scale of 1 to 5 to measure stress. 5 represented the highest level and 1 meant no stress. Measuring each parent’s sleep pattern, the researcher found that mothers slept 6.66 hours a night; the parents slept a little more than 6.69 hours a night.

There was a gender imbalance. When mothers were responsible for supporting their children, this did not directly affect the father’s sleep. On the other hand, mothers tended to show concern even in situations that did not concern them directly.

The term “support” here refers to financial or emotional issues. Often, even talking regularly about the children’s daily routines proved to be exhausting. It is difficult to explain why women were more influenced by stress than men. While this could simply mean that men don’t care as much about their adult children, it could also be said that women are more willing to air their stress than men. The fact is that mothers are more easily involved in situations of this type.

You might think that parents will be reassured when their children are older, but research suggests that may be changing. The fact is, parents are becoming more involved in their children’s lives these days than they were in previous decades. And this occurs even after they become adults and leave home. Advances in communication likely contribute to this. Cell phones can help parents monitor their children in ways no one would have dreamed of decades ago, and social media gives parents insight into their children’s social lives.

To cope with this stress, Seidel suggests parents ask the following questions:

Is this help to adult children being beneficial or harmful to them? If children know that you are still their safety net, will that encourage lazy or destructive behavior? Are you helping your children or controlling them? Are you offering unconditional support or are you imposing conditions on your children, telling them how they should live?

If parenting becomes too controlling, it can be detrimental to both parent and child, regardless of age. It is necessary to trust children (or young people) so that they can live their own lives. Parents should only provide support if their children ask for it or if they are dealing with a serious situation. And, remember, the problems are not always serious.

There are several things everyone—not just parents—can do to reduce stress:

Watch what you eat and exercise regularly. This will not only help you live longer, but reduce stress. Decrease or completely eliminate substances that increase stress. This can include alcohol, caffeine or certain medications. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to a therapist or friend, especially one who is dealing with circumstances similar to yours. Take some time for yourself.

And you, do you sleep well or do you tend to brood over matters and worries in bed? Tell us!