Why is the indifference of many people normal?

Some believe in Darwin and consider apes to be our distant ancestors, while others may view this theory quite skeptically. However, there is something in common between humans and these animals. For example, the way we treat each other. Not believing? So, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with Dunbar’s number and find out why your love may not reach everyone.

O awesome.club decided to find out if there is a limit in our heart and if we can treat all people the same.

A psychologist studying human evolution and a specialist in primate behavior, Robin Dunbar determined the maximum number of individuals that can be important for each creature, in apes and humans. Animals were less fortunate than men: their limit is only 50 individuals, while the human heart has space for 150 people.

A quote from Erich Maria Remarque’s novel “The Black Obelisk” provides a correct definition regarding the Dunbar number: “The death of one person is a tragedy, the death of two million is pure statistics.” There is no doubt that others are just like us: they breathe, eat, sleep and experience different emotions. However, our conscience prevents us from tearing off a person’s social mask and imagining him outside the group in which we are used to seeing him. For example, remember the feeling you had when you met your doctor or your child’s teacher outside the office or school. For some reason, it’s hard to imagine that the people you’re used to seeing in a certain role could step out of it when taking a vacation, meeting friends, or simply shopping. It seems to us that they always remain where we leave them: in the office or at school, as if they were not living subjects, but three-dimensional models.

Considering Dunbar’s number, ignorance, cruelty and indifference in our society are quite natural and precisely therein hide all the problems we face. The point is that, once surrounded by a crowd that is not part of your Dunbar number, you can then easily afford to do what you would not dare to do alone. For that reason alone, people are likely to boo an artist, swear at an athlete or referee during competition, or wreck another guy’s car if those next to them do the same thing. In a crowd, one loses one’s sense of oneself as an individual and people act as part of a single entity, the sum of hundreds of other human beings.

We are sure that you are not in the habit of being rude to strangers or fighting with others on the street. But sometimes it happens that even the most positive person finds himself involved in strange and unexpected acts. The boundary between good and bad actions is erased if a person’s interests in their Dunbar number are affected. For example, no one will steal from a friend, but many people are likely to fall silent if the waiter forgets to include an item on their check or if they are in a store and the clerk fails to record one of their purchases. At that moment, the person will not think that the waiter can be blamed, that he is barely making ends meet on his salary and is saving up to study; or that the cashier could be fired for this mistake, and that an elderly mother in need of medicine is waiting for him at home.

The reality is that the waiter and the cashier, in most people’s minds, represent companies without a heart. You don’t see a person in them, so it’s easy to assume you’re getting something for free and the owner won’t be poorer for it. Companies really won’t lose much, but a specific person may suffer the consequences, and with him, his entire family.

Sure, and you can find that out easily. For example, if your wallet was stolen, if you broke the elevator buttons, or perhaps if you were fired from your job. On a more global level, it might be a little different, but it’s still recognizable: tax increases, email or SMS fraud, terrorist attacks… In these situations, for someone, you are not a person, but a part of the crowd , or a faceless source of income.

Let’s imagine that you work at a gas station, where people can not only fill up their car but also have a snack. His responsibilities include customer service drive Thru during your daily shift. Arriving at work one morning, you learn that the government has decided to raise taxes and gas prices are skyrocketing; the boss says no one will be going on vacation for the foreseeable future, and you’ll also have to work extra shifts. What emotions do you experience?

You calm down and go back to your daily duties. A customer, paying for fuel, orders a can of soda and a hot dog. In the process of making it, a muffin falls to the floor, but the guy doesn’t notice. You pick it up, give the customer the order and invoice.

Right after the event, it is possible to understand any politician and businessman. They treat strangers the same way you do. This is how our “primate brains” work, whether you earn millions or just a few dollars.

What do you think about this topic? Is it possible to beat this Dunbar number, or are we programmed to be indifferent?